1 Meet Host Heidi & Hear Her Son Jagger Kai's Birth Story

Meet Heidi, the intrepid host of Birth Story Podcast and highly experienced Charlotte, NC based doula of 15 years (and counting!). She bears her heart to you and shares her special personal birth story of her son Jagger Kai in this inaugural episode as well as goes over some harrowing birth data, explains exactly what a doula is and why every mom needs one and talks about her book, Birth Story: Pregnancy Guidebook + Journal.

Looking for a Virtual Doula to create a custom birthing experience and guide you through your journey to parenthood in the United States? Contact Heidi at www.mydoulaheidi.com

For additional free birth education resources and to purchase Heidi’s book, Birth Story: Pregnancy Guidebook + Journal, visit www.birthstory.com.

Want to share your thoughts on the episode? Leave a review and send a message directly to Heidi on Instagram.

What does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what does a day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi Campbell, a certified birth doula host of this podcast, birth story and owner of my doula, Heidi. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries.

And I believe that every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a stage. So here we are listen each week to get the answers to these tough questions and more birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories, share our feelings, and of course, chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood.

And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes, you will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant. I hope you will stick around and be part of this tribe. Episode one. Woo. Here we are. I have been so excited for the launch of this podcast and I thought that I would kick off the first episode by just letting everyone get to know me a little bit more.

To hear my heart to understand why I've started this podcast and why I wrote a book birth story. That's coming out this summer and then we'll kick off with about four or five other episodes, uh, following, uh, this one today. So I'm going to chat with you a little bit about who I am and, uh, what this is all about.

And then I would love to read to you. My birth story as a starting point. So first off, thank you for subscribing and for being here and listening. And I, I want to say that I don't know why you're here. So perhaps a baby, he is already inside of you and you are getting scared of the unknown and maybe you're single mom or a surrogate, and the baby's kicking you when you're starting to think about that labor and delivery.

Um, maybe your next round of IVF or IUI is coming up soon and you're on this podcast to be positive and to learn about other people's fertility journeys and bringing babies into this world. Maybe you're just someone's friend or sister or mom, and you love a good birth story. So whatever brought you here.

I am forever grateful. And if you love it, then I hope that you will share it. I'm Heidi. I'm a birth doula in Charlotte, North Carolina, and in 2005 at the ripe age of 27. And I was very much not a mother at the time. I helped to support a mom that was delivering her first baby. And this mom came to me at the very end of her pregnancy and she had a secret.

She had already given birth to a sweet baby. When she was in high school, she had bravely chosen life and allowed her body to be a vessel to Parenthood, uh, for the adopting mom and dad. So I never knew her story before her labor began. Um, but she had been through labor and delivery and she had a really keen sense of what she needed because now she was older.

She was married. She was. Ready to be a mom. And, um, she knew that she loved my massages and my comforting touch, and she just wanted me to be part of her story. Well, that single day you guys was there. The most pivotal life changing moment, I became someone new that day. For the first time I saw the baby emerge and take his first breath.

I remember walking out of that house hospital. And it was like 24 plus hours of laboring with her. And I was filled with energy and excitement. I mean like crazy. Like my body felt like it had been electrocuted. I had no idea how to process what I had just been part of, but I knew it was the most beautiful gift I had ever been given.

And in the days after I was like processing it with friends and family. And I remember my sister said to me, Oh my God, you were her doula. And I was like, huh, what she say? What, what is a doula. And I remember I went straight to my computer and I think, and D U L a and for anyone listening to this podcast that actually knows what a doula is.

A doula is spelled D O U L a and M. Google was confused because I did not know how to spell bell, this mysterious word that I had never heard of it turns out my Greek is not very good. So for those of you guys listening and you're uncertain, what a doula is, then please let me enlighten you. Um, as my sister enlightened me, so we, myself included doulas.

We are magical beings with super powers. And we help make pregnancy labor and delivery and awesome experience. I mean, I guess technically you doula is a Greek word. Most of the moms that I have served over the years here in Charlotte, uh, when they write reviews or call me or send me a little note after birth, they say that I am their rock.

I'm their superhero and their Saint I'm their angel. Being a doula is kind of like the feeling when you serve others in any capacity. Like, has anybody listening been on a mission trip? Because when I get away and I go on mission trips, like I get way more out of what I'm getting and then what I give.

And so does that resonate with anybody like. That's listening that you, you know, you've gone and you've served others, but in the end you're thinking like, wait, I almost feel bad because they kind of helped me more. And, um, being a doula is it's pretty much like that. It's a calling. It doesn't feel like work.

As I like sat down to reflect on this podcast. I am actually on call for a couple of different birds. I am like antsy, like I'm nesting, I'm cleaning my house. I'm nervous. My bag is packed. My hospital bag, like forget their hospital bag. I am ready to go because I'm just so excited to get the call and to be able to go to work.

I mean, most days I can barely stand it. So let me see. I want to elaborate on this just a little bit, because the reason I feel antsy and I'm nesting is because. I can feel the labor coming on. And I know that sounds crazy. And that's why I'm here to tell you about who I am. So let me elaborate. Ever since I was in high school, I have been like invalid with dreams of pregnancy and birth.

And I mean, like drive my friends and family crazy. The first dream I ever had was like, so vivid in high school that I remember pulling my friend aside and saying, Are you having sex? Because I had a dream. You were pregnant. And she was, and a few years later I was in college and this dream like rattled me in the middle of the night.

It was a childhood friend, really good childhood friend. And by the time I called her, she had already had the abortion and. I just remember through the years, like some of the dreams I would have would make sense. And some of the dreams would not make sense. Like if I had a dream about like, I mean, my pastor's wife being pregnant that did not make sense to me, but then like if my, when I had a dream about my best friend being pregnant with twins and I was around her all the time.

Um, so. I was about, I don't know, 22 years old. And I decided to take a meditation class at Queens university here in Charlotte and the chapel. And it was impossible. I don't know if anyone that's listening is like into yoga and meditation, but these are things that I think are very profound until I try to do them.

And then I find out I'm really bad at them because when I was trying to be quiet and go inside myself, that was hard enough. But like whenever I like found my way in with my breathing, it was always just like pregnant women and babies everywhere. And I was just always like really confused and kind of annoyed by the dreams.

And so that day that I walked out of the hospital after my friend's birth. And I felt like I had been, you know, electrocuted with energy, like everything had kind of made sense. So this is kind of where I'm getting at. When I say that being a doula is a calling because I actually believe that I was born to be.

By the side of laboring women through their pregnancies and their deliveries. And this is why I wrote the book and why I've started a podcast because yeah. Is honestly I want to be a doula forever and someday my physical body is not going to allow that. And I, I want to support women outside of Charlotte.

Like whenever I travel or go anywhere, just like find myself like. Just digging out everyone's birth stories and talking to them about their fertility journeys and just the deep yearning to be a mom. And then that opportunity is afforded just walking through that journey with women. It just, it just sets my soul on fire.

So here we are, because I believe in education through storytelling right now, I'm on all these mom boards. And I'm going to give a shout out to mom, to mom, because this is how we're currently learning in Charlotte. How to be moms. We look at our friends, we look at who's around us. We scour, uh, like these Facebook and Instagram.

Groups the Pinterest boards. Oh my God. Don't even get me started on the Pinterest boards. There they'll make you feel like the worst mom ever. Don't start there, but we talk to each other and we trust each other. We want to find a tribe to teach us, tell us, share with us all this kind of stuff, what to do.

What I've learned is that everybody's got a story to tell, and everybody wants to hear a story like when, when you're pregnant or you're on a fertility journey, it's comforting to know if somebody else went through what you're going through, um, or they can help prepare you for what you're about to go through.

So you heard in the beginning, I think everyone deserves a microphone and a stage because we have to pass down what we've learned. And so this is why this podcast is about. I want to help everyone who's listening, prepare for their fertility journey, their pregnancy, their labor, their delivery, like early mom hood.

Good. I hope that this podcast is just one tool that you will use for your childbirth. Okay. Education. And so thank you for being here. And on that note, I would love to tell you my birth story.

August 21st, 2015. Dear Jagger, Kai. Hello, baby. I love you bug. I hope you read this story when you're young and say gross, and I hope you read it when you're a teenager and it embarrasses you. I hope you read it when you are becoming a dad and you are proud of me. I can't wait to tell you all about the day you enter this world.

When you are big enough, my inauguration into motherhood with your brother max was a bumpy ride. I was scared. I was very scared about your birth from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I tried to go to counseling to resolve some of the fears that I had from your brother's birth, but I somehow found everything else to talk about besides his birth story.

I knew that you were feeling everything I was feeling as I grew you inside of me. So I did try for you, your dad. And I decided we needed to hire a very experienced doula to help us and to prepare me and work through all of my birth fears. I had no idea how I ended up in this place with you. I should have been glowing the whole time.

Looking forward to the moment you would arrive. I'm sure. Doula for God's sakes. Rationally. I knew that what had happened to me during Max's birth was a rare story, but it was my story. I didn't want it to be the story of me and you. I knew you were my last child. So you are maybe being, I knew this was the last chance to give birth somewhere inside me.

I found hope. But I focused on you in my belly. And when the kicks began and you started to interact with me daily, I hired us a doula and her name is Jessica. I cried to Jessica while I interviewed her. Your dad held my hand and helped me tell our story. He helped me be okay to move forward. Jessica did what a doula does.

She made me believe in myself once again. She came to our home to help us build a plan for the birth. And I cried and cried. I pleaded with Jessica, with you, your dad, and especially God, please just let this be different, Jessica and your dad told me over and over again, it would be different this time. My body now knew what to do.

Your brother had paved the way. I was strong. I could have a natural childbirth and I would have a natural childbirth because that's what I wanted. I would spare you and me from all the mess. At some point, I started to believe them and I started to believe in myself, my body, my inner strength, and in God's plan.

As we neared the end, my belly was growing at an outrageous pace. Your brother weighed 10 and a half pounds. And I was starting to look a little bit like I did with your brother. So I got scared again. I was all set to go with my natural, do not intervene. Childbirth. When an ultrasound at 39 weeks revealed that you might already be 10 and a half pounds.

Geez. I had a terrible feeling there of bleeding out again, having a long labor again. Well, okay. If I'm honest, I was afraid I was going to die. I know that doesn't make sense, but that is the truth. I thought, well, this time I will just die. Hi from the hemorrhage and I'll never be able to hold you. So back to counseling, I went poor Jessica and your dad had to calm me down once again, my beloved midwife Sage recommended an induction at 40 weeks.

She would be the one to do it, even though macrosomia, which is like big baby. It's not an, a cog or an American college of gynecology indication for induction. We believed it was the best solution for me and my body. And for you, my sweet baby boy. So I called Jessica and they told her the plan and she was on board to support us.

Her role as a doula was to support the birth that I wanted. And she, he did just that, no judgment and full confidence in my decision. After that, we revved up the natural induction methods. We had sex. We did nipple stimulation. We use black and blue cohosh. We walked, we went to a Chinese reflexologist and had acupuncture.

I had a massage, I got a pedicure. I inserted an ingested evening. Primrose. I ate spicy food. You name it. We did it. I knew my body wasn't ready, but who cares the weekend before the induction, Jessica brought over some Kassar oil to try well, because why not? I was already going to be induced. So why not try the absolute last resort induction method?

If it didn't work well, I was still having a baby round. One of the castor oil went great. I mix two ounces of it with chocolate to linty gelato, which I will never be able to eat again. I had mild contractions all day, but then they just died off late in the afternoon because my body was not ready for labor.

Your dad. And I got a hotel close to the hospital. We were ready. I was ready. And this next part, I'm just going to skip right through. But the next morning, my induction was canceled when we arrived, push repeat on the next two days and it was canceled again. And again, it's like pairing for a marathon and then spraining your ankle.

It sucked. I went home twice without you. So I did what any irrational pregnant woman in this situation would do. And I drink more castor oil, big mistake. I basically sat in the bathtub all day, soaking my rear end and racing to the toilet. Every 10 to 15 minutes, I had lots of injections, but again, this did not lead to you.

So I slept and rested. And when I was irrational, I allowed a beautiful midwife, Tina to write a new birth plan for us. At 40 weeks and two days pregnant, I showed up for an induction that was actually great going to happen. Your dad and I woke up and ate disgusting Bojangles because it was my last day to be fat.

We showed up at the hospital at 7:00 AM and Jessica was already there waiting for us. We checked into room 15, 29 directly next door to where I delivered your brother and got settled in with the most awesome nurses. They took my blood and started an IV port at 7:30 AM. I was rested. I was mentally strong.

I had a doula and a Bradley trained husband. I had the right hospital, the right midwife and the right nursing staff. I was pumped up and I was ready to rock out your birth. We were in a good place. I mean, I was nervous as all get out, but Jagger, I knew we could do this. I knew you had kick off of me. I knew you would come down.

I knew you wanted to be in my arms as much as I wanted you in my arms. It was time to meet each other and snuggle and hold you as close as possible. Birth is a little crazy. I'm sitting here writing and writing and now I'm like, damn. What happened in between that moment in the birth? It gets a little fuzzy.

We put on the movie coming to America. It took my mind off everything. The Victoza and got started around 9:00 AM. My cervix was almost four centimeters dilated before labor even started. Thank you, second baby. The plan was to start Pitocin and then break my water and turn it all off. And see if my body just took over.

Naturally the contractions started to come regularly, right after 10:00 AM. When they turn the Pitocin up, I would guess like four minutes apart, but they were really mild. I could feel them building and breaking, but they only lasted about 30 seconds and I could easily ignore them. Next. We put on legally blonde.

I was laying in the bed with your dad. And as the contraction started to get stronger around noon, they turned up the Pitocin again to a six. I would turn my head into his chest and just breathe for a few seconds. I was in total control and they were barely touching my pain scale. I rated them around a one, two, a two.

This was, was it my first rodeo. I knew where we were going. Pain-wise. Around one 45, 5:00 PM. The midwife came in okay. And broke my water. I was asleep four to five centimeters dilated 70% of faced. So the contractions I had barely felt or already doing work. The very first contraction, post water breaking was significantly stronger.

I was sitting on the birthing ball and leaning toward the bed and still trying to watch legally bond. The contractions were three minutes apart and growing in intensity, I had to close my eyes and breathe through them. I was doing the hypnobirthing I had practiced in somehow was relaxed and in control.

This is the total opposite of my personality. So I know that hypnobirthing and doulas and awesome husbands work. When the contractions would end, I would open my eyes and try to refocus on the movie, just having the room quiet and only one thing to focus on soon that became too much. The contractions were too close together and too long and too hard.

I had no idea where we were at in the movie nor did I care. Around 3:00 PM. It was game on. And the only thing that was going on in that room was my contractions. All of my needs were fully met your dad and Jessica made sure that I was totally taken care of. I was owning this labor. The contractions would start to build, I would close my eyes and I would breathe long, slow, deep breaths.

My focus was on hypnobirthing vision. Sometimes I would have a deep guttural breath at this point, but still just mostly soft breathing. My team reminded me to relax my face and my body. They fed me and hydrated me. They wiped me down with cold lavender ice cloths. The contractions came one after the other, and I left that room and entered that weird labor zone where time just stands still.

The midwife came in and said that the contractions were in a good pattern and that I could stop the Pitocin and see what happened. Maybe my body would just have taken over. I surprised myself and the whole team. When I declined, I said that I was handling the contractions, just find, and I wanted to keep moving forward and not backward.

I didn't want them to turn up the Pitocin. However leader I learned that they just secretly did during contractions when my eyes were closed so that I couldn't protest, that was helpful. The less I was aware of their interventions, the better. So we kept rocking and rolling, or I did one after the other, the waves just kept hitting.

They continued to go stronger. They continued to last longer, but the progression of the contractions sentence, each one, but for helped me prepare for the next one. It was gradual. The pain was not shocking. My massage therapist, Annette arrived around 3:30 PM. I was so much in the labor zone. I don't actually remember seeing her.

But I remember feeling her. I felt her touch. I felt Justin squeeze my hips and press on my sacrum. I remember Jessica rubbing my legs. I remember they're comforting and supportive voices cheering me on during my rest times my heroes, but I don't really remember opening my eyes or seeing much. Around 6:00 PM.

The contractions were just on top of each other. Pitocin was at a 16. I remember them wanting to turn the Pitocin up again, and I was adamantly against it or afraid these contractions were exhausting. And I was only really a few hours in the active labor. I thought I would be doing this for a long time and I needed them to help me chill out by not making it worse.

They listened and trusted me that I knew where I was at. I asked them to turn the Pitocin down because I described my pain level at a nine right around 7:00 PM. I remember the time because I was so scared that I had at least five or six more hours to go a contraction hit me that woke me up out of labor.

That cool calm control I had evaporated one second. It was in the most painful. Scariest place I have ever been in my life. I'm not sure how to explain it other than I lost control the unexpected happens and it was stronger. It peaked harder. It lasted longer. It started to fade. Then it came back at me twice as strong in a double peak.

And all of a sudden I had to puke. I opened my eyes and in my head was screaming for help. But it didn't have any words to come out of my mouth. The midwife was there. When I opened my eyes, I was shaking from head to toe and confused, and then fuck the next one came just as strong. I was now fighting the pain.

I couldn't relax. I was scared. Uh, lost it. I said, I cannot do this anymore. The midwife said, just keep singing your labor song. It's beautiful. And you are doing this. I remember Jessica and Justin in negotiation mode with me saying, okay, just get through the next one and we'll talk, but they just kept coming and I kept losing control and I couldn't really talk to them in between.

I just wanted the pain to stop up until that point. Justin had been by my side, hands on and massaging me at all times, but then he took out a stack of scripture cards and began reading to me. Come to me all who labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest Matthew 1128. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like Eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint, then fuck the next contraction hit. Hypnobirthing was not working anymore and neither were these scripture guards.

There were not enough. Rose pedals are big enough waves to ride the contractions or dominating me. How would I regain control as I repeated, I cannot do this. Justin said, babe, this is your dream. You are doing this. And I said, this is not my dream. Who would dream about this? Then the song came on my plate.

Yes. By Chris Tomlin called unfailing love. I wept with the words you have my heart and I am yours forever. You are my strength, God of grace and power and everything you hold in your hand still. You make time for me. I can't understand God was making time. I am for me, the next contraction hit. And I raised my arms up to the sky and I rocked back and forth on the birthing ball.

I was crying and moaning so deeply that my throat hurt for days after labor. And then I gave into myself again and I called her to God for help. I praised him and I asked him God. Open my cervix and let me push my baby out. I begged did this over and over in my head and out loud and on the very next contraction after I let go relinquished the pain to God into my body.

After that. No kidding. On the very next contraction. I started to bear down and had the urge to push. Looking back. Welcome to transition is what someone should have said. I thought I had hours and hours ago, but really I was done when I got to the point that I literally was breaking. It was over. I walked to the toilet to labor down and empty my bladder.

The contractions just kept coming and I kept moaning and rocking and breathing. My midwife checked me and I was seven to eight centimeters dilated. This was confusing to me because I was bearing down on each contraction. This is when I started apologizing. I just kept saying, I'm so sorry. I'm pushing. I know I'm not supposed to be.

They asked me where I felt the pressure. I was feeling it all in the front. The midwife assured me that my body would not tell me to do anything that was harmful to myself or to the baby and to just go with it. So I did, I walked over to the bed in the birthing ball was no longer comfortable. I just wanted to squat and squat.

I did. This was the moment that I was like, damn, I should not have gained 70 pounds. And I also should have stayed in shape here. Dad had to lift me up out of every squat because I was too tired and too heavy to lift myself back up. So I experienced a huge moment of humility at the end of labor, but I got over it as soon as the next contraction hit.

And very quickly, I went to a complete cervix. I had pressure in my rectum and the urge to bear down and push. This was at 8:30 PM. So I squatted and pushed and squatted and pushed my heart was racing and I was having trouble catching my breath. It turns out is just hard work and I was pretty out of shape.

But for a moment, I thought I was for sure, having a heart attack in the middle of your birth. Well, my heart was racing. Your heart was dropping. I had had an internal scalpel, fetal monitor put on your head, sorry. During labor, it was the only way I could move around and not be bothered by all the external monitors.

The OB GYN came in and everyone told me to stop pushing. I was on the bed, leaning over this birthing bar on my knees. When all of this was going down. I could see the OB. I could hear the monitor. I knew what was happening. C-section city, all this work there goes, they asked me to stop pushing to help you recover in between contractions.

What I didn't have much money troll over this overwhelming feeling to push you out into my arms. And why weren't you coming out anyway? Because I was pushing really hard. So I did what they said. I actually liked the oxygen mask. Your dad put on my face. I had lavender cloths and ice chips and I obeyed, I got out of the bed and squatted and got onto my hands and knees.

I pushed on every other contraction and just tried my best to breathe and let you push down on your own. It worked, you stayed strong, wrong and recovered. Just fine. I'm sure the medical community and my doula and my husband can explain the rest of this in very different terms. But I was asked to get into the bed and try something else.

My midwife was helping to stretch my parent EUM with almond oil and they leaned me all the way back and told me to just lift up my hips and push you up towards the ceiling. Well, that was counterintuitive, but it was the perfect message. It was go time. The ring of fire was next. All I could think of was my Bradley friend, who was this girl is on fire.

Yeah. I sing it in my head and also let everyone in the room know that I had felt the ring of fire and somewhere and all of this excitement. I opened my eyes and there was my dad. God, your puppy, an AMT, Shawn, the team grown and I was surrounded by love and joy. When did everyone get their LIBOR is a weird time warp of memory loss for the most part.

And right now you're probably thinking poppy was there. Yes. Jagger. Poppy was there and you were the very first baby he ever saw be born. They didn't let dads in the room a long, long time ago. So I let him in the room and he was overjoyed to be part of the birth of his grandson. I could feel you pushing against me.

I could feel you exit me as I pushed your beautiful umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck twice in the culprit of all the heart decelerations. Your dad actually thought that your head was severed when he saw the cord wrapped. That is why he looks so terrified. And the birth pictures, the midwife gently and wrapped your cord.

And I slowly let you emerge on my next breath. She plays do you on my chest and I felt the warmth of you. And you looked up at me in those moments. You telling me your birth story, what it was like for you. You were still connected, right? The cord stopped pulsating. Your dad cut the umbilical cord and I held you now separated.

People came and went and I felt overwhelmed with fatigue, your dad, and I just stared at you and I closed my eyes and I felt your heart beating as you nursed, eventually they did your stats and you, my huge baby weighed eight pounds, 14 ounces and or 21 and a half inches long. You are born at 10:19 PM.

JAG. We have the best birth story. I loved every minute of bringing you into this world. I went to a place so deep inside of me that I never knew that kind of strength existed or was possible in God. Wow. He created you in my womb from a wild idea here, dad and I had. He gave me strength and he led me the whole way to you.

I love you bug. And again, I hope you read this birth story when you're young and say gross, and I hope you read it when you two are becoming a dad and that you're proud of me. Love your mom.

Thank you for listening to birth story, Michael is you'll walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go, and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want. No matter what that looks like.

If you're enjoying this podcast, then I need your help to spread the word. If you know anyone who is pregnant is trying to become pregnant or just loves a good birth story. If you could send them to iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify or SoundCloud, wherever they listen to their podcasts and ask them to subscribe to the birth story podcast.