14 Meet Katie: 4+ Year Fertility Journey, Failed IUI, IVF, Miscarriage, Inverted Uterus, Postpartum Anxiety, & Two Sets of TWINS! Listen to Her Amazing Birth Story

Katie opens up to honestly discuss her long, arduous fertility journey trying meds, surgeries, IUI, and how it felt to have a successful pregnancy with twins result in 6-weeks of hospital bedrest with preeclampsia. Two and a half years later Katie finds out she was naturally pregnant with identical twins again! She also speaks about how Zoloft helped change her life and what her experience was with antepartum and postpartum anxiety. Katie's favorite pregnancy product is the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. 

Looking for a Virtual Doula to create a custom birthing experience and guide you through your journey to parenthood in the United States? Contact Heidi at www.mydoulaheidi.com

For additional free birth education resources and to purchase Heidi’s book, Birth Story: Pregnancy Guidebook + Journal, visit www.birthstory.com.

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TRANSCRIPTION

What does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what does the day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi Campbell, a certified birth doula host of this podcast, birth story and owner of my doula, Heidi. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries.

And I believe that every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a stage. So here we are listen each week to get answers to these tough questions and more birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories, share our feelings, and of course chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood.

And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes. You will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant. I hope you will stick around and be part of this tribe. Hey, it's Heidi with the burst story podcast. And this week is episode 14.

This story was specifically recorded for my friends, Ashley, Mandy, Louise. And everyone out there who is on a fertility journey or who has ever been on a fertility journey, Katie. So vulnerably shares this amazing story and it has 1 million twists turns, surprises all the way until very end. This story just keeps you hanging on because you won't ever believe what comes next.

I hope that this story gives hope and encouragement and light and love and makes you feel like you are not alone and that it is possible to become a mom or to become a mom again.

A little bit about who you are. I'm Katie Gillespie. I'm live in Charlotte, born and raised in North Carolina, mom of four, two sets of twins. And I'm married to well and work full time. So your husband's name is well we'll. Uh we'll okay. That's back country slang. I love it. So where did you grow up? I grew up near Raleigh.

Yeah. In Wilson, North Carolina. Oh, my first college roommate was from Wilson, so crazy. Everybody always knows someone from Wilson. Well, you just said that you had four kids and two sets of twins. And so that's one of the reasons that you're here. Cause I think we have a lot to learn from you and I don't know your story at all.

So I'm so excited. Just dig in. Let's start at the beginning. How long have you been married? So we got married in June, 2008, so I guess that's coming up on 11 years. And when in your marriage, did you decide that you wanted to start your family? We were in our late twenties, um, close to 30, maybe 20, 29. We were, we had just turned 26.

When we got married. We wanted to kind of enjoy being married without responsibilities, aside from work. And then we actually went to. Disney world with my family and my nieces. And they are, we were like, you know, I think we're ready to take the next step. So we just, you know, started trying all the normal ways that people do and it wasn't happening.

It wasn't happening. And then stop there. Yeah. So like when you say it wasn't happening, so every month you, did you take a pregnancy test every month or did you just get your period just, and all the normal things. Period. And, but I wasn't really tracking anything. Like we were interested in having a baby, but I wasn't like waking up every day with a goal to get pregnant.

Then it was just kind of like, we'll throw caution to the wind. We're not going to use birth control. We'll see what happens, but you may not have even been having sex at the right time during ovulation. Okay. How long did that go on for probably maybe a couple years. And then I, you know, I'm probably gonna forget the order of events a little bit, but I talked to him.

I can't remember if I had a miscarriage first. And then I talked to my doctor about what to do, or if I was. Talking to her about needing some help. And she started me on Clomid. And then if after that, as when I got pregnant and had a miscarriage, but it was mama for two sets of twins, you don't need to know the details of the girl.

Crazy how through it, it felt like that was just always on my mind. And I never imagined I'd get to a point in time where those details would become fuzzy. But it really happened here you are. So the first thing you said that just kind of jumps out at me as you were like a couple of years. So it's probably some denial on my part, like, Oh, I'm sorry.

I was like, were you relaxed about this or were you panicking? I mean, what is, so at some point, your sounds like a long time. It does. Yeah, it's funny to reflect on it, but I think so at some point I started to think, you know, there's probably something wrong or why isn't this happening? So I read the book, taking charge of your fertility at some point in those two, two years.

And that was, was such an eye opening book for me. And as I was reading it, I was like, Why didn't I read this when I was in high school, when I was in college, like so many different times, it would have helped me understand what hormones do, what and why I act cranky certain times of the month and everything about cervical mucus, mean everything you can imagine it's in the air.

I really felt like I could almost be an OB GYN. Okay. I'm so excited. This is a big shout out to this book and we're going to link to it at the end. So you started, who gave you, do you remember how you got the book? I think I read about it online, a friend had used it, and so I, I ordered it cause I was like, you know, I'm just going to try to figure this out myself.

Um, and so through that, I started realizing I'm having some mid-cycle spotting. Um, maybe malady you'll phase as short than shorter than it should be. Maybe that is something going on there. My doctor had tested my hormones, um, just standard blood work, everything was normal. And then I wondered, well, maybe I have polycystic ovarian syndrome.

I thought maybe it had some of the symptoms, but all my labs came back. Totally fine for that too. Let me pause right there. Cause whenever I talk to moms that are dealing with fertility, all I hear is this. I could be wrong with me. This could be wrong with me. This could be wrong with me. Like at any point where you like, something could be wrong with him.

Not really because I was the one who was having some mid cycles. Okay. So that was my thought, like this is definitely, and I think, but that's probably just my typical personality is that yeah. All women I've done something wrong. First, I mean, that's just my natural, I don't know where you're at. We're going to end up in this story, like who are both, you know, um, I just want to kind of say like, if you are on a fertility journey, like both people need to get tested right away.

Like it's not, you know, one person's fault or one person, but. It's two people trying to make, you know, a baby. So I want to make sure that we're saying out loud, you know, we need to have courageous conversations with our partners. Um, it, it, the, the, the, the issue could be coming from either side. So you noticed some things though that were going on with your own body that were okay.

Question marks for you. That's right. At some point, remember the details are fuzzy. I talked to my doctor tried Clomid for three months. What was that? Like every day? I wondered, well, I have twins from this. Like that was my thought. I was like, well, I think I met at increased risk for twins. Maybe this will work and then it didn't.

Maybe it was after that I did get pregnant. We had my husband and I were at the beach and we had a good time. And then I wasn't getting a period and took a test and it was positive. And I was like, this actually worked, my body, figured it out. And, but then, uh, I don't know, a day or two later I started spotting and then we.

Went on vacation to the beach again, and spotting continued continue. And I, then I realized this wasn't gonna last. And, um, did you, you take another pregnancy test? Not while I was there. Okay. I mean, I was Googling everything possible. And because I just want to say that just if anyone's listening, just because you are pregnant and you're spotting does not mean you're miscarrying, it can mean that you're miscarrying, but I, if anyone's pregnant and they're spotting right now, I just don't want everyone to get scared that it's definitely a miscarriage.

It can be. It can be many, many things, including implantation bleeding. Um, it can be a little bit of blood that pulls like behind the plug. There's a million things, but it would be one of those things. But as the week went on, it became, did it get more or you bleeding more and more? Okay. So bleeding is increasing.

Yep. What you're saying. And then like, After five days, it, it just became clear that this was something more. Okay. So we got back home called my doctor went in no sign of being pregnant, um, from their exam, but I knew I had. Been in some capacity because the tests said so, but you know, so after that, um, um, my doctor referred me to a fertility specialist and I think I was probably like, that was in October ish.

And I think it was like that January check, my husband, um, everything was fine with him. Some of them, yeah. Lab work showed that, um, Maybe I wasn't producing enough eggs, right? There was some number you're you're the expert. You might know the data better than me. A pause right here, because I actually want to take this a little bit slower.

Um, there are going to be a lot of people that are listening right now that. Are where you were like in those couple of years, right. Where they're like, Hm, I'm not getting pregnant. Maybe I should go to my doctor. Maybe I should go to a fertility specialist. Maybe they've tried Clomid or something. I want you to try to like, even if you close your eyes and go back in time, when you walked into the fertility clinic for the first time, like, can you remember like, Like what they talk to you about like exactly kind of what they did so that if someone's on this journey, what could you teach them?

Or what would you expect at a fertility clinic? Not just your OB GYN office. So there was a lot of paperwork that I filled out going into it with a lot of details about history, um, genetics. That was probably part of it. Just, you know, W questions about health history, um, reproductive health history. Had you ever gotten pregnant before, you know, had, had you had your pap smears, you know, just all kinds of things.

Okay. And, but really, I think what it didn't didn't really resonate with me is that these specialists, their job is to get me pregnant and. I still was of the mindset that you it's probably not going to happen, or they we're just gonna, this is going to be a really long process if it ever happens. So I, in hindsight, I'm like, you know, their job is to get me pregnant.

They're going to move me through and do this as quick as hell possible. Um, based on how my body is responding and. I probably would have had more optimism going in if I had thought about it that way, but they did a lot of lab work. Um, did ultrasounds, you know, tested my husband's, um, motility and sperm counts and all that stuff.

Yep. That's a lot of that. A lot of people don't know is it's like, they think like sperm count, but it's also like the shape of the sperm. It's also like the motility, like there are so many, like who knew there were all these measures of. From, but, you know yeah. But there are, and we talked about like, what medications I had tried before, what my, what might we do first?

You know, kind of, this is what we'll try first. If that doesn't work, then we'll do this. If that doesn't work, then we'll do that. What types of options did they give you? There was, I think the drug was called. Femara. Um, it was not Clomid, but something different that might be the wrong drug name. Um, but it wasn't, it was something different from Clomid that my doctor said had been successful for people.

And then if that didn't work, we try IUI. And if that doesn't work, then we look at IVF. And so it was like, okay, I feel good about this. Um, My, it ultimately ended up seeming like my left ovary was lazy and it just didn't work as well as my right mind. And so maybe that was part of the problem that there just weren't as many chances for egg and sperm to meet up, but who knew for sure.

So we started, um, I took the medication and was just getting started on it. And then my husband and I went to. Um, a weekend getaway trip and Dallas and my sister in law was for her wedding shower. My husband was going to be a weekend warrior, play basketball with his friends and I'm at the shower and get a phone call that my husband has gotten a severe injury.

He's being taken away on an ambulance to a hospital in Dallas, turned out he had torn his patellar tendon and. Was immobilized and what's going to need surgery. And so that was kinda like, well, that's going to make it interesting pregnant so I can think of one way this could be easily done. It was also like, Oh, this is weird.

What are we going to do here? So, We decided to fast forward through the process and go straight to IUI just because my husband was squeamish about his knee and I wasn't trying to hurt anything. Right. Just kidding. I mean, this is weird. Oh my God. I realized it would be like, I just want to say giddy up, but that's so inappropriate, but Oh, well I just needed to say that out loud for sure.

So I UI what he did, so, and, and really, it's kind of a blessing that. We sped through that process. I'm gonna have to put a pause though, because you're laughing with me. And so I feel like I could ask you this question, because I feel like you may have asked your husband this question, but like, I'm very curious about the D the sample deposit.

So do they for IUI, like, can that be done at home or do you have to do it in the clinic? Like, can you deposit it? And then I'm pretty sure that was happening. In the clinic. Yes. Cause I remember husband and mobilize Olympic going into the court, but so he only deposited one time. Well, he had to give you do it multiple times.

Cause we did multiple rounds of IUI. This is the part where it's like, I know it's crazy that all these details are fuzzy, but. You have four calves. Okay. Yeah. So I give you permission for them to all be fuzzy and we are going to learn so much from you even in the fuzziness itself. Okay. So he gives his deposit.

Then what, what do they do with, with your body? I was being monitored for, um, How my ovaries were doing, I was giving myself shots to like trick, like trigger shots to stimulate the egg, to come out and then we would time. But I UI with. That process. So did going in for like monitoring, um, just to kind of really track to see where the, the monitor is done by what blood work and an ultrasound.

Okay. Anything else? I think that was it. I think that was kind of like by your blood levels and the ultrasound, like see the follicle and like. It's go time. That's right. So it often ended up Saturday or Sunday morning I would go in and the time would be right. And, you know, jokes about Turkey based or some things, but essentially, you know, essentially what it is essentially, what do you put your legs?

And like, stirrups are like, what? Just lay on a table. But the semen in you and then you just cause it hurt she'll now. So been hurt at all? No, so did, okay. I should probably know things like this, but I've never asked this deep of question. Do they put the semen just inside your vagina or does it go we'll put it up higher.

So they go through, they help it do some work. Yeah. They take some of the legwork. Okay. So they do get it up higher, higher under the uterus or not, or if they, it still needs to go through the cervix itself. I don't know all of that part. So they put it up higher. Let's just go with that. So where they would be most success probably.

Is it looked like a Turkey based or like, do you get to see it or no, it's just something's happening. Showed it to me, but it was also still in this phase of being pretty modest. And uncomfortable with so many people all up in my business. So at any point, though, where you like, are you sure this is my husband's firm?

I'm a trusting person. Okay. I give trust easily if it did. We'll never know because I never worked for me. And what we started to learn through that process is that I was having this mid cycle spotting and. My doctor made a comment to me. She was like, you know, I wonder if the egg and the sperm are meeting up, but they just don't have the right environment for implantation.

So let's do an enemy trail biopsy. Okay. So you were having maybe many miscarriages. Exactly. Interesting. Just now. So. They end up, you know, you want to talk about pain. Endometrial biopsy is something that I was not prepared for how much that would hurt and the pain didn't last long. But I mean, you just imagine knife just kind of dig in into you for a moment.

So it's done vaginally and then they go through the cervix. Yes. Take tissue from your endometrial lining. Um, so, and anytime we dilate the cervix, it hurts. I mean, think about your cervix opening to have a baby or your cervix opening. I don't know if you've ever had an IUD or anybody. Well, anyone who's listening has had an IUD that can also be uncomfortable.

Think about like just a long pap smear. Yeah. And then maybe it was just an extra little knife. Yeah. Back in there for this independent real tissue. Yeah. So that was the kind of thing I kind of wanted to fall off the table over. So they don't give you any pain medications just like take ibuprofen or something, you know?

So I was like, Oh, okay. If you need to take ibuprofen, you might wanna take more than. What normally. So that was shipped off to a research facility and then we waited for the results. And, um, at that point in time, figured probably gonna have to do IUI or IVF because I knew I had not worked so. I started wrapping my brain around that.

And then the results came back that my endometrial lining was not the right environment. The hormones were off. And this was like, see, I knew it. I knew I had a hormone imbalance somewhere. Perfect. So you had an answer. So I got an answer and so. We went through with that information, we went through the, um, an IVF process, like a protocol to test it out and see how would it work?

The traditional protocol did not give me the right hormone balance. So. This means I did have more endometrial biopsies to test that. So I can, I didn't ask for Valium and I didn't even occur to me. This is, I should think more about these medications that they would do that. I was like, I just threw that out there, but I was like, okay.

Yeah, at least this time I knew what to expect. So that didn't work so well. What my doctor did was, um, put me in basically in menopause and to take medication, just kind of get me down to nothing, so to speak with my hot flashes. Oh yeah. I mean, I went through like, I'm sweating all the stages, like bad mood, everything.

I'm sure you should ask my husband. I'm sure there were some bad moods and. Fan, we used a different IVF protocol to kind of get my hormones, to hopefully create the perfect environment for implantation. Okay. So we did another endometrial biopsy and it showed it was perfect. Oh my gosh. So we had the answer, so.

During all of this, I was also doing egg retrievals because we knew that big because we had to create the right environment for implantation. We were going to have to, um, do a frozen transfer. Okay. Yeah. So we did egg retrieval. So, and because my ovaries were showing not as great of a response to all the stimulation drugs.

It's to encourage my ovaries to create lots of follicles. Um, we decided we would do too two egg retrievals to it. Okay. That I would ultimately have it kind of like I had to do two retrievals just to get the same amount of eggs. A normal person would from one retrieval process. Throughout all of that, um, wait, ended up having, so I ended up having two embryos to transfer when the time came.

And, um, I don't know if they are from two different egg retrieval stages and, and who knows when. One was August and one was December four retrievals, and then they were frozen. And then in April we did the transfer and, um, that was very easy process just to go in. I mean, after all the biopsies and other things, by this point, I'm kind of like used to people being all up in my business with IVF though.

Then they actually put the  inside your address. That's right. And so we transferred to, because I only had two and, um, I can't even imagine how delicate the instrument must be. Oh, I know it does that. So like we had a picture of the two embryos and got to watch on a screen as they were. Transferring them into me.

And, and then for that, they did give me Valium or something to help me relax and hung out there for a little while at where the procedure was done and then was sent home and told to be on bed rest for like 48. Ish hours, I think. And I think there's mixed or mixed research about if that really makes a difference or not.

My doctor's philosophy was if it will help you relax and if it works or doesn't work, if it doesn't work, then you'll at least have peace of mind that you didn't do something. Wrong by like exercising or something, you know, you won't blame yourself. That makes sense. To me, that feels right. Yeah. And you know, I had tried like acupuncture and all these things throughout the process.

I told you it was all fuzzy. It's all coming back to me now. And so I was down with just having a reason to sit on the bed for the last chill. Yeah. I watch a lot of Dawson's Creek rerun, mental break. Yeah. So. That I think that was on a Thursday. And then Saturday night I was able to get up and do things.

So we went to the Bruce Springsteen concert and that's a really good on your feet or in a, in the box. So it was, it was a relaxed way to go to a concert, but, um, it was fun. And first of all, you and your husband sound like very fun people because we've heard about a lot of vacations already. What's his, was his leg healed by now?

It was okay. Yeah. So this was like, A year and a half later. Yeah. So he had, they'll basically learn how to walk again. Um, he learned how to walk just in time for his sister's wedding and she, you know, it was all fine. Yeah. He ended up running marathon races, five Ks and things and winning in his age group.

And so he's, he was a track athlete back in the day. Wow. Yeah. Um, then, then starts like that kinda infamous two week wait, and I was determined not to take a pregnancy test on my own because I didn't want any false positives. And if it was negative, I didn't want to know yet. So fast forward, like it was 12 to 14 days after the transfer.

And, um, did they tell you to take an at home kit? No. They tell you not to, but so many people tend to, everybody's been surprised that I didn't. Um, but I just had been through so much. And quite frankly, at this point, by the time you've gone through all of this for me, I just. It was kind of hopeless. I was not optimistic.

And so I go had to do blood work in the morning and then wait for them to call me and let me know if it worked or not. Now we're going to take a short break to just share a few things with you and we'll be right back with our guests. I'm so excited to tell you about my first book that I wrote that is launching this summer.

It's a 42 week guide to your pregnancy. It's a collection of birth stories. It has a ton of doula advice from all of the questions that my clients have asked me over the last 14 years. It has hysterical partner tips that you will want to read to your partner. And it has journaling prompts because nobody has time to write a 20 pages in their journal about their pregnancy.

So I've taken the Liberty to give you some prompts of things that I think you might want to remember back on after the baby's born. So again, you can go to birth story.com and preorder a copy today, and it would mean the world to me. Hey guys, if you're enjoying this podcast, they need your help to spread the word.

If you know anyone who is pregnant is trying to become pregnant or just loves a good birth story. If you could send them to iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify or SoundCloud, wherever they listen to their podcasts and ask them to subscribe to the birth story podcast. I was at work and, um, it was right around lunchtime, got a phone call from my doctor's office and the.

Nurse was, she told me that I was pregnant and I was just in tears. And she, I heard her say like, this is good news. Right? And I was like, Oh, of course I did. But I'm just balling out of control. And my HCG levels were very. Great solid numbers. Like there was no question. I wasn't, you know, a little pregnant.

I mean, it was definitely, it was super new at this point because you implanted to being pregnant. Does it, you still don't know if you're pregnant with one or you're pregnant with two, you just know you're pregnant, something tuck. And then I went back over the course of a couple of weeks or three weeks or so for more blood work to just see if my HCG levels are continuing to.

And priests as they would, if you were pregnant health and everything was doing what it's supposed to do, and it was, and my numbers continue to be on the higher end. And so then I, you know, I started Googling like G levels, blah, blah, blah. This number X day of pregnancy. And I started to wonder, well, maybe they're twins.

Um, maybe they both took, but I really didn't know yet because I hadn't had an ultrasound. And so then finally we get to the point where it's time for an ultrasound of guests that was probably probably seven, eight weeks pregnant at that point. And go in for the ultrasound and my doctor's like, and here's your baby.

And I was like, that's amazing. And then I'm thinking, I guess it's just one. And, and then she goes, and here's your other baby? And I was like,

um, I was super excited as your husband with you. Yes. Okay. Awesome. So you guys are just like flipping out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean we, and has this been now what, a four year journey? Probably. Yeah. I mean, that makes me want to hold 31 at that point. So it had been awhile and we had been very open with our family about what we were going through, and that was important to me.

I needed that support. And, um, so we just immediately called them and told them it was twins. And so there was none of that like big reveal to any of our friends or our family. And some of our friends knew what we were going through. Yeah. Did you have the embryos tested before implantation? No. Okay. So you didn't know their gender or know anything about him?

I had a couple more, um, ultrasounds, I think at the specialists and then was released to my OB GYN to do the rest, the rest. And I did because I had done IVF and it was twins. I was considered high risk. So I went regularly to maternal fetal, uh, of specialist for in depth ultrasounds just to make sure everything's good.

Did like the nuchal fold. Screening. And, um, basically all of my ultrasounds were done at that specialist and my OB would test, you know, she would listen for heart rates and make sure everything's good with me. And then they did all the monitoring of the babies. So how did the pregnancy go? I was super anxious during.

That pregnancy. And I really, in hindsight, I'm like, you're not probably should have been on something for anxiety, if that would have been okay. I never talked to my doctor about it because I, I didn't realize how anxious I was until. After I delivered and had postpartum anxiety. And then I really reflected on this was going on the entire pregnancy.

And so many women, especially with first time babies, this is very normal. And when you have it, when you're pregnant, it typically does not go no delivery. So I, and describe it. Describe post. Describe that anxiety every day. Yay. I thought something was going to go wrong with the pregnancy. And I was constantly looking for symptoms that something was going wrong.

So every time I'd go to the bathroom looking for spotting in anything, I just would be like, okay, this is yes, like a hyper obsession of like negative thought that you just cannot get rid of that's right. No matter what. Oh, you had all this anxiety I did. And, um, did you talk to your doctor about it? No.

Okay. I didn't, we're so silent too. I mean, I heard it guys are so used to this anxiety and honestly going through all the fertility stuff. It gave me this false sense of control. It was like, well, we were able to control the environment and create a baby. And, and then, and then I wasn't and control anymore, but I wanted to be in control.

I really know that's at the heart of my anxiety. So, um, but Alma ultrasounds were good. And then we found out the gender and we did a fun reveal with our family. It was a surprise to us. We found out what are they. A boy and a girl, one boy and one girl, or your first set of twins and one girl. Okay. So you did a reveal?

Yep. And I mean, it was like the greatest day of my life finding out that I had a boy and a girl. I'm sure it would have been the greatest day of my life if it was two boys or two girls, but yeah. It was just so amazing. Um, and it made it feel more real. Yeah. And then, um, continued along. I would say I started to not feel very good probably after like, I don't know, week.

28 or 29. And my mom was kind of noticing that I looked kind of swollen and puffy and, um, then I started to have some signs of preeclampsia and they were like, like there was my blood pressure was going up and just a lot of swelling. And then my urine tests were showing some. But how were you feeling? I felt like crap just but never had been.

Like pregnant to this extent before, and certainly not with twins. So it was hard for me to know. Well, is this really? Did you have a headache or no, I didn't have black vision. No, no. My blood pressure never got like. That high. I mean, it was just, it been formal markers. Yes. So at like, Whoa, I think I was week 32.

Yeah. I, my blood pressure did get higher than anyone would want. I don't remember the number I did. We did the shots just to strengthen the baby's lungs just in case they were born, but they weren't. But my blood pressure did go up. So then I was put on hospital bedrest around 32 weeks, and I did not realize that meant I was literally gonna be in the hospital on bed rest until they were born.

So. Move into the hospital, but I work in healthcare. I kind of felt like I was at home or at work. I mean, it just, I was able to, yeah, 10 you working while I was there. My team was amazing and I was in grad school at the time too. So I continued to do grad school work. Everybody was very supportive of me.

At my new, um, home office. Did people come visit you? Tons of visitors. I even hired someone while I was on bed rest in the hospital. Like, did you do your interview there? I love that. Yeah. So, and that was very helpful for me just to kind of keep my mind focused on other things while my body did what it needed to do for the babies.

Where's your blood pressure better? It was sitting and resting. I mean, it was still never like. Down, but it wasn't in a like super scary. I didn't, I don't think I ever got like magnesium or anything like that. So, so real quick though, did they come and take your blood pressure? Like every 30 minutes or like, did they mostly just leave you alone on bed?

Just the standard. I want to say probably. Four to six times a day. I don't, I don't remember, but just, um, at shift changes and then periods in between throughout the day. So then like what blood work and urine too. Yeah. Yup. Yup. There was blood work. There were urine checks that there was, I had to basically pee into this cup that was just attached to the toilet every time I remember the day that I didn't have to pee into a cup that someone was in taking and checking, I was like, yeah, privacy, you know, Then, you know, my buddy, my buddy was just hanging out.

Babies were cooking, they were growing. Um, we were monitoring baby B who's my daughter for, um, her growth that she was kinda not growing as fast as . My son seemed to be okay. Hugging the nutrition. So there was a point where it was like, if she didn't grow. X amount then I would be induced, but every time she, she made the growth that they were looking for.

Cut off, everything was fine. And finally at like 37 and a half fish weeks. We started the induction process. Oh my goodness. This is great. So you, your water never broke. Like everything was stable. You were safe. Did your husband, did he sleep at the hospital too? Stayed every night with me every night, young out, we had my room decorated for Christmas.

Cause I was there through over Thanksgiving. The hospital did a fun Thanksgiving feast for me and my parents and my, um, In laws and my brother and his family. So we were treated really well. And then did you, so you didn't have to eat hospital food, like everyday, like your husband could bring you dinner, all that kind of stuff.

Okay. So 37 and a half weeks. Yeah, Sunday. Yeah, it was a Sunday night start the induction process. And again, I just. I just didn't really know what this was going to involve. Eyes were head down though. So this was an induction for a vaginal birth head down. And I honestly had been open all along too. If I need a Csection, I'll have a C-section if I can deliver naturally, I'll do it.

Like if I need medicine, we'll do it. I had kind of at that point, I talked about like the control earlier, and then I reached a point where I was like, you know what? I'm just trusting doctors because doctors got me pregnant and they're monitoring. I'm not the expert anymore. And they got you to 37 and a half weeks gestation.

I mean, this is amazing with three claims. Yeah. Like you're in great hands. Yeah. I think that all women, um, you'll hear me say this over and over again on this podcast, but one of the things is, um, From being a doula is that I coach my clients to being open and flexible because you have no idea what kind of labor you're going to be given, and don't try to control it.

You have nothing, you have no control. We, we prepare for what we want and then we're open to what happens. So tell me about how the induction went. It was, um, It was hard. I mean, it was, there were parts that were painful. I didn't know what to expect. Really. Um, I had an amazing labor and delivery nurse who was just so caring and, um, she did an amazing job of helping me kind of through the stages.

Um, so Sunday night I started Monday. I was in. Labor at some point, labor started and got an epidural and then pain medicine were off. They gave me a little more, it was a little too much. My blood pressure went crazy. My daughter's heart rate started dropping. So I had to back off of it and then kind of start all over again with, with.

Getting me to a point where I could push. So finally at like 2:00 AM, uh, Tuesday morning after this started Sunday night, I was so point where I needed it was time to push. And so, but you were numb, you were comfortable. Yeah. Everything was stable. Yeah. I do think. Pain medicine has started wearing off quite a bit.

And I was, but I didn't want more. I was afraid of what could happen. So just trying to push, took me a while to get comfortable with the, I mean, it had, I was laying down and they were telling me push like a, get up poop and that I was moved to the OLR for the actual. Pushing of babies in case I needed a C-section I hear this is pretty standard, right?

That most twin deliveries are here in our community are being done in the operating room, just in case. And, and as it turned out, I'm very glad that's where I was because I pushed baby a out boy, healthy. Um, time to push, maybe be out doctor thought it was gonna be a few more minutes. And actually, I was just like, I got push now.

Now baby B came flying out. My husband said it looked like dr. Cotter almost like football. I'm sure it wasn't that dramatic, but it's fun to think about that way. And, and then. Things went bad. So pause for a second. What were there times of delivery? How far apart were 15 minutes apart. 15 minutes. Okay. So that is pretty fast to push one baby out and then push another baby out.

Um, okay. Then I felt a lot of fluid coming out of me and I thought I was peeing on myself and my doctor's face. They told me a very different story and I was hemorrhaging and that's when things got really traumatic for me. And I was very glad that I was on an Orr. They, um, it was just like suddenly a just huge team of people, the send it upon me and, um, started trying to fix everything, but I lost a lot of blood.

Good. How were you feeling? Were you like, I need to vomit. I'm going to pass out. I was so scared. I was laying there on the, or table, just looking straight up and because I work in healthcare, I do work with a lot of these. People who are now, in my opinion, working to save my life is how it felt. And I just kept telling myself, do not die, do not die.

You did not go through all this just to have it and this way. And I just kept giving myself a pep talk and things are going in and out. Things will get dark. I would feel like I was gonna pass out. And then I would like force my eyes open again. And I don't know how much time lapse, but I remember my doctor saying, I feel a mass, like.

I feel a mass. Has anybody ever told you you're have like a heart shaped uterus or anything? And no one had told me that. In fact, when I started my fertility journey, one of the first procedures I had, um, was to just like examine your uterus and make sure your tubes are open. And that doctor had said your uterus is perfect.

It's beautiful. And so I actually told her that while all this is going on, I was like, no, they told me I have a perfect, beautiful uterus. And so I guess they, um, My doctor took a sampling of this mass that she felt and send it off to pathology. Luckily, I got stabilized. There was a balloon in me to stop the hemorrhaging.

And I was moved to, um, did you have a blood transfusion? Yes. Okay. Yeah. I lost a lot of blood. I received a lot of blood, um, and I don't remember the exact amounts, but it was a lot. And when, uh, so I went to the, or for recovery, I mean, I'm not seeing my babies. I'm like, I just had two babies. Is your husband with them?

My husband is with him and he also really didn't know what was going on with me. He was first time dad, by himself with two babies. Families where they're in waiting rooms and they started to wonder something what's going on. They were like had ears up to rooms, trying to hear if they could hear baby cries and stuff.

So there were a lot of worry for a lot of people. Finally, my husband came in, um, to the, or he was allowed to write before I was taken away. I, my doctor told him kind of what had happened and that I was stable. I was moved to a recovery room. And in the PACU, like in a surgical area, even though I hadn't had surgery at this point, and I had my own team of people who are monitoring me while we waited for the results to come back from pathology of this tissue, that they are whatever they had taken from me.

My doctor came in and told me the results. And she said, yes, it's uterus tissue. You're you have a partially inverted uterus. And that's. I guess related to the hemorrhage. And, um, so were you like, how does that I know, yeah. I mean, in hindsight, I think it was, it was related to twin pregnancy. I was at higher risk for hemorrhage and, um, this  because of a long labor, um, all the drugs I'd been given for an induction.

So hindsight it's like, Oh, I was at really high risk for this, but yeah. Um, so now we know, so now we have to figure out how to. Fix it. And I was so my, one of the maternal fetal specialist doctors that had taken care of me, he came in with one of the other OBS that had also been taking care of me. They had researched a nonsurgical way to fix this, but neither had ever done it before.

And so the specialist is teaching the OB over me, how to do this. And I've got this balloon in me, so they are going to use saline that they put in through the balloon and use pressure to revert my uterus back to the way it should be. And I couldn't have pain medicine for it because I needed to be. Of sane mind, I guess in case I needed to have an emergency hysterectomy, I needed to sign off on that.

So, um, on the table, it's kind of like the equivalent of shoving, a three pound baby backup in you. Okay. The worst pain of your life. It's the worst pain I've ever. I felt in my life like I was, but I work with these people. And so it was trying to be really like professional and positive. And I was just laying on the bed, guys, guys, the search really bad guys, guys, like Hm.

Wanting to fall off the table and pain, but they were watching on the ultrasound. Yeah. Seeing that it was working and they were like, this is working, this is working. And, and then as soon as they saw that it was working and I wasn't going to have to have a hysterectomy, nurse shot up some Dilaudid in my eyes.

Yeah. It was like, thank you, God stabilized. Um, both kids were healthy. My daughter weighed four pounds, four ounces. My son was six pounds. Daughter ended up having to go to the NICU for a few days because her oxygen was doing some weird things. Turns out she just had some really big buggers in her nose that right.

That's been fully suctioned when she was born. So as, so my son and I went home on Friday, December 19th, and my daughter came home that Sunday. And then that's when I realized. Well, the recovery from all that blood loss is in 10 even imagine, I mean, felt like I'd been run over by a truck or, and then did it, you continue to have transfusions?

No. No. Okay. Um, but I took iron and I think, yeah, just fine. And, um, kids were healthy learning how to take care of two babies, but yeah. Didn't realize at the time super anxious. And, um, that first night that I brought my son home, I didn't sleep at all. I felt like if I didn't stare at him, something would happen.

And so exhausted all the time. Finally, like a month and a half to maternity leave, I was talking to a good friend and she was like, you know, Postpartum anxiety is a thing. Maybe that's going on EPA if anybody's listening, Google it. Yeah. So I had done this questionnaire with my doctor before I left the hospital and I didn't register any.

Signs of depression. And so I reached out to my doctor and was like, I feel, I feel like, I don't know now something's going on. And so we did the screening again, and I definitely indicated that I was having postpartum anxiety. So she gave me medication. And what medication did you take? Um, Zoloft. Zoloft.

Okay. And did you feel like it worked? Yeah, absolutely. In fact, Before I started taking it. I said to my husband, I'm really worried that I'm not going to worry enough on this. And he was like, I to take some pictures. So, um, it worked and I didn't worry if I was worrying enough or too little or anything.

And how long did it take to kick? I probably a couple of weeks. Okay. And. I was, while I was on maternity leave, I was finishing grad school. And so babies were born in December. Then I went back to work in March and then I graduated from grad school and I had given myself a goal where I thought maybe I'll try to wean off of this after I graduate, because that'll be a big burden off of, of me.

And so I tried and, and I, I was fine, although I do think. In hindsight, I probably should have stayed on it a little longer cause I would still have all these worries, but it just was not nearly what it had been, but in hindsight I probably could have stayed on it longer, but so then we just got used to life with twins and I love how you just say that.

Like, just like with like normal settled into our routine and they're amazing kids. So they went to daycare, we were working full time and, and then in, um, That was on birth control because I didn't think I could get pregnant after all that we had been through. Yeah. And quite frankly, who had even has time to have to make a baby or IUI or IVF.

And I had asked my doctor, um, when we figured out what my issue was. And, but before I knew I was pregnant, I was like, okay. So say. This works and I get pregnant and then we want to have another baby down the road. Would I have to go through IVF? Or could we just go ahead and create the right environment hormonally and then do a UI or something?

And she was like, you know, we're not even gonna worry about all that because one healthy pregnancy can reset your body and your hormones. You might not ever have this issue again, but I didn't believe her because of everything I'd been through. And so, um, Life continued on April, um, 2017, my husband and I, um, did enjoy each other's company one night.

And, but didn't, and, and really, I remember like after we had sex, I was like, I feel weird. Like, something feels weird, this feels very different. Yeah. And I, but then I just like put it out of my head and then, um, Fast forward to may. And I was like, I should probably, we have had a period by now. I logged on to some app and put in all my dates because honestly, after I'd had my first kids, my period was like clockwork.

I didn't have any mid-cycle spotting. I had no signs of a hormone imbalance anymore, but I didn't believe that I could still get pregnant. So I didn't tell my husband. What I was thinking that was a Sunday night. We'd been out of town. He was out of town for work. I was working for him Monday morning and I.

Was like, I didn't have a period yet. The app had told me, you were like, I was five days late. You should take a test. It said, and, but I had missed like the first morning pee. So I was like, I'm not going to take a test yet, but I am going to tell my husband where my mind is and that I think I need to take a test.

And so I texted him and he, he was like, what? Okay, thank you. Yes. And then I was like, but I'm going to wait until tomorrow morning, but then I couldn't focus on anything else. And I found one test at our house. Leftover leftover. I love it. So I took it and it was positive immediately. And I was just in disbelief and I'm panicking a bit because of the traumatic delivery that I'd had.

And so I sent a picture of a positive test to my husband who was in a meeting and he was like called me immediately. Then I immediately texted my. Friends she's the labor and delivery nurse who was so amazing to me with my first set of twins and told her what was going on. And she was like, Oh, I'm sure it won't happen again.

I even texted my OB at the time she was not married any more. She had changed positions and she was like, I'm sure that congratulations. I'm sure everything's going to be fine because you had twins the first time. It's just going to be a whole different ball game. And then, um, a few weeks later I had my OB appointment.

Um, The doctor that was taking care of me was the doctor who had ultimately fixed my, um, inverted uterus. And so he was very familiar with my past. And did they write a paper on that or anything? Yes. Okay. I was at a conference. They told me can I, I will try to maybe if I can't, I'll put it in the show notes, figure that out.

Cause I was like, I'm assuming that they wrote a paper on this. If this was the first time it had been done. So anyway, sorry I digress. But then, um, he. They didn't have time to do an ultrasound at that appointment, but from his exam, he was like, you're absolutely pregnant, but I didn't believe it because I'm going to pass.

And I was just like, I don't know. I feel like the company but wrong. Can you just do an ultrasound? So I know this is good. She was like, yeah, come back tomorrow. So my husband had been with me at that first appointment. And, but he had schedule conflicts the next day. And I was like, don't worry about coming with me.

We know I'm pregnant. This is just for my peace of mind. So I go in and, um, they do the ultra sound and the, the sonographer goes, uh, yeah. I don't know how to tell you this. And I was just like, I knew it. I knew there was something wrong and she said there are two babies and I, I almost fell off the table.

My life is about to fall off. It's me. How old are your twins today? Were. Two, not quite two and a half. Oh my gosh. Everybody that's listening. Just hug Katie. Were they identical or are they fraternal? They appeared to be identical from what she could tell, which is a miracle and so rare and nothing. You know that, I mean, we.

We don't know how that happened, but all I could think was I knew, I felt different that night. Like, you know, so a million people I'm to like, probably more than that, but it is so common for women to feel conception. Many women feel conception. You felt it. That's amazing. I had never felt it before. Yeah.

So many women will tell you, they feel like they just feel weird. They feel electricity. They feel they just, their whole entire body feels different and they can feel conception. Yeah. I felt it. And now I have an ultrasound to approve that, that embryo divided and there were two heartbeats. And my doctor, I immediately said, Can you get the doctor?

It's probably so dramatic sounding. And I think she even said, this is good news. Right? And I feel like that, that was the second time in a pregnancy experience where someone had said to me, this is good news. Right? I'm like, of course it's good news, but I'm freaking out because I believe I almost died the first time I told for twins, that's how I felt.

I don't know how close it really came, but it felt that way. And so my doctor comes in and he's like, I actually think he said, well, shit as he's looking at the ultrasound pictures. And, um, he also made a comment about, I should probably get some lightening rods installed on my house because how does this happen twice, especially given my past and, um, The rest is history.

I had an amazing pregnancy. I had no preeclampsia. I felt great. I did have some cervical shortening. At one point I was back with my same maternal fetal specialists and they were the same doctor who had helped fix the uterus. He was my primary one, doing all my ultrasounds, my uterus, somehow magically lengthened back out.

Yeah. And then we just quit measuring it because who cared anymore. And I, we did go back and forth a lot. Like how will I deliver the babies? Had both been head down and I truly felt like my body's got it this time. I know what I'm doing. I, I w part of me really wanted to just go for vaginal delivery. But then we also felt like, you know, if you're already open and for a C-section, if something starts going wrong, it's much easier to fix it.

Is that when you're already open, I was just torn. Okay. The whole time, but we decided let's schedule a C-section four 36 week. I have one ultrasound, one final one with a specialist, a few days prior to my scheduled C-section and. My baby B had turned breech, and that was the best news for me because it made it, it solidified in my mind uh C-section is what needs to happen.

And I'm so grateful for that baby turning breach. Yeah. And so I had my C-section. I didn't really know what to expect out of this. I was mourning the end of my pregnancy because I had felt really good. I did reach a point where I was uncomfortable and knew the girls needed to come on out. So two identical twin girls.

Yeah. Okay. Yep. They were girls. Yeah. I should've mentioned that. Oh, that's okay. So and so we, um, Had the C-section and I probably should have taken some anxiety medications because I was very scared about what might happen that day. And it all worked out and. Got through the C-section um, baby girls were healthy.

Perfect. No one had to go to the NICU. We all went home together. They way baby a was five pounds, 10 ounces, baby B was four. Eight or four 12, isn't it really similar to your first, you know, they have been maintaining that weight difference. And my girls, you know, you are the third and fourth babies when I can't even remember your birth weights.

Like, Oh my goodness. It's clarity. Fuzziness is like, come back though. Like, as we've been talking, like, I just feel like you got real clear. I don't know if you wanted to go down those journeys, you know, and then cry. So that's what I'm saying. Was in the right direction. I will say first set of twins born December 16th, second set of twins born December 29th.

And you have a lot of birthday party, a lot in December, and it's amazing. They are three years apart and the best of friends and my son, he's the only boy of the kids. And he. Is the best big brother. Oh, I love it. So Katie, after so many years of not getting pregnant in a fertility journey and then IVF or IUI, and then, you know, successful IVF and then an all natural identical twin, I mean, you just have an incredible story and thank you for sharing.

Thank you or listening to birth story, Michael is you will walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want. No matter what that looks like.