52 Saxonny Rich on Preserving Your Fertility & Birthing in Brooklyn

She preserved her fertility and then conceived naturally. Took Diclegis for nausea and vomiting. And, taking an Uber at the end of labor.

TRANSCRIPTION

Does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what did the day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi. My best friends. Call me hides. I'm a certified birth doula host of this podcast and author of birth story and interactive pregnancy guidebook. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries, and I believe every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a state.

So here we are within each one to get answers to these tough questions, birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories and share our feelings. And of course, chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood. And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes, you will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant, or you just love a good birth story.

I hope you will stick around and be part of this birth story family. Thank you for listening to the birth story podcast. If you are tuning in for the first time, I want to encourage you to start the beginning. I want you to go on a journey with me and allow me to be your virtual doula and teach you. All the things along the way.

So I'm just going to give you a couple of highlights. Some of the earlier podcast episodes, if you are just now tuning en so very first episode, episode one, you can learn all about me, who I am, why I became a doula, why it is I do what I do and also my very own birth story with my second child Jagger.

Then I've interviewed some really cool stuff. CEO. So episode three, Tori Jones is the CEO of EHL triangle, and she was so featured on Rachel Hollis's. The rise podcast. Episode seven was Rachel Cole. The CEO of can do kiddo. She was just on good morning America. She's an incredible occupational therapist that teaches you how to play with your baby in her.

Birth stories are incredible. Episode 10 was one of my best friends, Amy, a VBAC in the car. We have done episodes on micro preemies episode, 1821 on international adoption out of Uganda. 24 and 25. Oh, those episodes like get a box of tissues. They're on Seragusi and cancer. We've addressed hypnobirthing, fertility, really easy, joyful medicated birds, really hard, long labors, Kayden, unmedicated, everything in between.

So I hope you'll start at the beginning. Let the birth story podcast take you on a journey all the way through. Yeah. And enjoy this episode and then remember yeah. Or rewind all the way back to episode one. Thanks for tuning in. Hi, Saxony rich, welcome to the verse story podcast. And I'm so thankful that you reached out to me via email.

I will be honest. It is so humbling. Like I love getting emails about the show and things that people want to hear about and. And individuals that want to share their birth story. And there's so many, any of them, which is amazing. It's really hard to even answer all of them, but I do, but you're actually, I think one of the very first guests that I've invited on that contacted me through emails.

So thank you for it. And I really was intrigued by your highlights. Okay. So what I know is that you live in Brooklyn and you have a really cool name. And so I want to know about the name Saxony, cause this is the first year, the first person I've met with this name. Oh, wow. Like going way back to my birth story then.

Um, so, uh, my mom thought that she was, is going to have a boy was like totally convinced. So she had in her mind, the name Colby Lee that's, who I was supposed to be as a boy. Um, so when I was born as a girl, she. Kind of panic didn't really have anything planned, but my brother was in school with this girl named Saxon.

Uh, so she added another NOI and that's me, isn't it. So interesting how our parents come up with our names. I was due to be angel was going to be my name, which is really funny, cause it's the opposite of my personality. And then my parents named me, Heidi. And when I asked him. Like how they came up with Heidi.

My mom was like, there was just this really popular high school and she was just so cool. Like that's a little weird, but okay. The decision they decide to, Angela's not the name for you? The name, I don't know if my birth was. It's super difficult for her. I was not an angel. Um, but I love your name. And so tell me a little bit about yourself and living in Brooklyn, what you do.

Yeah. Um, so I am 37. I live in Brooklyn. I lived in New York city for about seven or eight years. Um, I work at a tech company called box and I'm a customer success manager. So as a customer success manager, I am helping our customers adopt the technology. It's a lot of relationship management and then just understanding what they're doing in their business and how we can help.

Really cool. Okay. So I've never heard of box, like what, what is box. Oh, boxes, a cloud content management platform. So you may have used a cloud document storage like Google drive or Dropbox. It's similar to that. And that. The documents and content that you're working on can be stored there. Uh, but then we, we work with enterprise companies, so, um, they're really high level security.

And then if you're like in HR or I'm like procurement, we can help you automate your process. From onboarding to contracts and approvals, things like that. See, I love learning about all different businesses and what people do. Well, tell me a little bit about Brooklyn. I have like a million friends that have just migrated to Brooklyn and it seems to be like the place to be.

And so how long have you been there and kind of what's your history with New York? Well history. I was born in Buffalo. So way way, upstate New York, basically Canadian. Um, I moved to New York about seven years ago and. After, I think a year of living in Manhattan, I moved to Brooklyn and it just felt like home.

Um, I've lived in four different neighborhoods in Brooklyn and they're all so different. Uh, right now I'm in Bushwick and it's an interesting eclectic neighborhood like Bentley. Lots of artists, uh, super diverse neighborhood fields. Very cool. So, um, Saxony, how did you find the birth story podcast? I think I put story in my search.

Uh, um, Spotify to find podcasts, um, because I was, when I found out that I was pregnant, I was so afraid of giving birth and felt like if I could just hear a few stories, that would be really helpful. Um, and it was that easy. I think that's how I found you. Well, that's really good. I'm just always curious, you know, when it's, there's so many, I think there was like, Just recently 30,000 people just recently listened and I'm thinking, how did that happen?

You know, I'm like, where did all these people come from? But that makes sense events. I was curious what people typed in and what, you know, some people were seeking or looking for when they were looking at a podcast. So that's really helpful. Well, let's get into it. So your set of you're 37 years old, did you plan to get pregnant or was it a surprise baby?

It was a surprise baby. Ooh. The best kind sometimes. Um, and how old is your, is it a boy or girl? Boy. Okay. And how old is your? He is almost four months. Oh my goodness. Yeah, you are in the thick of it. Saxony, aren't you? Yes, I am. Are you back to work already? I am. Okay. So how much maternity leave did you get?

Uh, we actually get 20 weeks. Um, I'm going to split it up though. So I took about 16 weeks with him, uh, in going back and then I'll, um, take another four when he's a little older. That's right. A lot of maternity leave. It's amazing. Let's praise your company right now. Yes. How wonderful that they let you split it up?

I think what a gift that's really cool. It's so generous and it's really amazing that we get to be with him at two really important developmental stages in his life. Yeah, I think this is incredible. Okay. So he was a surprise baby. Tell me a little bit about your story and had you been thinking about having children.

Yeah, I was thinking down the road. So I actually, um, went through the egg freezing process. I did that in January, 2019, had my retrieval and actually didn't get a great result. Um, so I, I had four eggs that were retrieved and are on ice right now. And from that, I thought that I was not fertile that having a baby would be really difficult and probably wasn't going to be in my future.

I'm gonna have to pause you right there because so many questions. What led you to freezing your eggs when you were 36 years old? I'm like, wait,

that just went off and I need a lot of information around this. So crazy, like you're 36. Why aren't you ready? I don't know. I think there's like New York is expensive and I guess I had in mind, like I would have this much money in the bank and I would be at this level in my career and I would have done these things.

And so I wanted to preserve my fertility and just have the option at a later date. But I just still didn't feel ready. So, but are, are you in a relationship? I am. Okay. And where you at at this point? At this point? Yeah. Oh, okay. Because I say this because I've heard this story, you know, several times with, um, women that are single at 36.

So this is very interesting. So you were partnered at 36 and went through this process of preserving your fertility. Okay. Yeah, I love it. You are a powerful woman right here. I mean, that says a lot about you, right. And just says a lot about you. A lot of really good things about you. So you went through this process.

Now tell me what, how many eggs were you like? Would they expect a healthy, fertile woman to retrieve. Um, I think at my age, they were saying you like a healthy, fertile woman would get 12 to 16. And I can't remember what I've looked up before. I think if you're an egg donor to even be considered, you need to have six eggs.

Okay. So I, um, I wouldn't have even made donor threshold because I think you need six eggs. If you want to be like an egg donor. It wasn't a great retrieval. And I, and I knew going in that my chances were low because of the low follicle count and low AMH levels. But. These numbers never get better as you get older.

So I felt like that was the time to do it. Yeah. Okay. So you and your partner were like, okay, having babies is on hold, but let's like do this egg retrieval and then it's on your terms and your time when you feel like it's the right opportunity to start a family. Yes. And then what happened? You, you had sex?

He like, after that happened, I think we were both thinking like, wow, I guess our chances are slim and we're maybe a little less careful. And then I got pregnant. Thank you. That's the inexpensive way

also. How did you know you were pregnant? Oh my goodness. I get my period like clockwork. It's so predictable. So when my boobs got heavy and sore, but my period didn't come. I looked at my partner and said, I think something's going on. I waited a few days. And then finally I couldn't, I couldn't, uh, deal with it anymore.

So I, before he went to work, I went out and got a pregnancy test peed on the stick and like, it didn't even take. 15 seconds for this thing to turn into a plus. And that was it. Yes. Okay. So whenever someone tells me that they're like surprised pregnancy, right. Is this a case of like you were on birth control or, and like, it just didn't work or kind of, how do you believe you got pregnant?

Well, I. I personally don't like birth control. I think it's a little too one size fits all. So we were, we are using the poll out method. We knew my cycle and we just didn't pull out. So you knew it was a possibility that too know it was a possibility. Um, I, I think we were on the fringes of when I could get pregnant, but again, if like I were both thinking that I'm not very fertile, so yeah.

Yeah. It wasn't prime time. Yeah. Well, it sounds like a happy surprise. I'm also with you on the birth control thing, being one size fits all. I never, this is, it's literally crazy for me to say this at 41 years old with two kids, but yeah, I never took birth control. Not one time in my whole life. So, how was your Nancy?

So I know you're newly postpartum, but like, how was your pregnancy? So you, you peed on the Sago is right away. And then, um, and then how to get in denial, because I had residual hormones from the egg freezing that I did. Oh, like a month and a half earlier. So I was in denial and then I, I had a trip planned to Cuba.

I went to Cuba and on my last day, or got sick and stayed sick for like eight weeks. So morning sickness is really all day sickness for me, trimester was really rough. I was exhausted, miserable, nauseous, puking. Like everything was difficult. Um, it's so hard, hard, because it's like, that's all the normal things, you know, that you should feel.

And whenever coaching my doula clients, I kind of just try to say like the worst, if like, if you feel terrible, that baby is likely thriving. Like the more that yeah. Taking from you, the better that you're, that baby's doing. I know, and I was, yeah, it was a really rough first trimester and being in another country.

So how long were you in Cuba for? I was, I was only there for a long weekend, so it was just that. Uh, my last day of being in Cuba, I got sick. And so I was sick like overnight and then on the plane ride home. And I basically like walked into the apartment and fell into my partner's arms. And I was like, I'm definitely pregnant.

So Cuba was the kickoff to this party that was getting the party started. I can just completely relate to that. This will also speak a lot about me, but I was pregnant at my wedding and I adjusted, like we were about to, and we had deliberately had been trying, I did fertility. So we had been deliberately trying and to get pregnant.

And I had had this positive ovulation and so decided to try right before our wedding and. It thankfully it was successful. But at my wedding I felt, I still felt great, but we left to go to the Caribbean on our honeymoon and it was like half way through the trip was my kickoff. So, and I just remember being in this like airport and, you know, there's no air conditioning and it's one of those outdoor airports and I'm just like vomiting and the like, Tarmac, you know, trying to walk to the Blaine binging.

Oh no, I'm definitely pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so yours lasted for about eight weeks. Um, yeah, I think it kicked in around week five and went until. Week 13. Let's say I have something like that, but like that I, I kind of always felt a little nauseous throughout pregnancy. Not terrible, but yeah. So, yeah. So what are some practical tips or advice you would give someone to help deal with the nausea?

Gosh, I, I tried all of the. All of the methods that I saw on line sour, candies, motion, sickness, bands, and nothing really worked for me. I think it had to just subside on its own. And then I also, so at about eight weeks, I got a prescription for Dyke Cletus started taking that. And maybe it worked. I don't know.

I think it was time more than anything, but it was a struggle sleep as often as possible. Just be kind to yourself. I feel like that was a huge lesson that I learned. Like it just knocked me. Uh, my ass. Oh, and when you're, you know, 36, 37 years old, and you're a career woman and you're used to going, going, going, going, it's, it's really different to be like, Oh, my gosh.

I have to go to bed at seven 30 nauseous and to really pregnancy has a way of kind of slowing us down sometimes in a way we've we've ever done before. So let's go through the rest of the pregnancy after you started to feel good. Were you doing any things to prepare like a childbirth education course or yoga?

Kind of once we start feeling better and we start. Thinking about, you know, what kind of birth we want to have and where we want to birth. What was that like second trimester, like planning. What did that look like for you? I did all of the things. So I trained for, I trained for this birth. Like it was a major athletic event.

I researched everything that I could to help my. Body and mind prepare for the day of giving birth. And I also have a lot of fear around giving birth too. So that was, that was something I had to work through so far. Basically I was, I stayed active like throughout my entire pregnancy doing yoga. Pilate is walking away a lot, um, spinning.

And then I did take a birthing class. I took a hypnobirthing class, which was amazing. Um, to me it sounded really hokey like saying hypnobirthing, but it was incredible and it completely helped. It helped me transform, um, my mindset around giving birth, um, helped me understand that like, The woman's body is meant to, it's meant to do this and you know, between the affirmations and some of the guided meditation, um, definitely helped me get to a place where I felt confident on.

Delivery day. I will totally agree with you. I'm actually a certified hip, new babies doula, and I deployed, um, a lot of like self guided relaxation and hypnosis and my own birds and also just coaching my clients through it. And I could not speak more highly of the practice and not just for birding, but if, if mindful, well, this is something that someone listening hasn't.

You know, engaged in before being pregnant is a great time to like embrace mindfulness and self guided hypnosis, not just for your birth, because I will tell you, I use these tools all of the time and motherhood when I need to take a breather. And for anyone who's listening. If you want to know more information about hypnobirthing, if you scroll back a couple of episodes, I have, I interviewed two amazing hypnosis and one of them is Katie  and she owns the women's meditation network.

And she's launched a series recently on pregnancy meditations. And it was first heard on this podcast. So I wanted to just. Put that in there a little bit, because people may be hearing you Saxony and they're like, what is hypnobirthing? And so if they're just listening to this episode, then they can scroll back and listen to Michelle Smith or KB Kermit so's episodes, and learn a little bit more about hypnobirthing and hip, no babies and, and what the practices like.

So, and really, it's just a really good childbirth education class. So you learn so much more than just. Hypnobirthing, you learn so much more. And my partner actually took the class with me, which I thought was super helpful day of it. Yeah.

Um, so was he reading scripts to you? I don't know what version of hypnobirthing you did, but like, was he reading scripts to you? Um, or just participating in the self guided relaxation also? So he was, he was coming to the classes with me. So he was participating in, in all parts and he was a very active partner and like during my pregnancy, which was amazing.

So there wasn't too much script reading on his part, but we, I think it helped us have conversations that we may not have otherwise like. For example, I would say, you know, I'm not the first person to do this. I'm not going to be the last person. And then he said that to me and I was like, Oh, please don't say that to me on the day of like, I can say that to myself, but I don't want you to say that.

Can you just tell me, like, you're amazing, you're so strong, you got this. And it's like, it's really weird. Like these things that you say to yourself, um, I don't know, it just opens up the conversation so that you can practice beforehand. Um, cause the day of there's like no practicing. I know. And it's so amazing.

Like our self-talk and how different it is, the way we would speak to others and the way we want people to speak to us versus the way that we speak to ourselves. So it's really, you know, it's nice to hear you say that that intuitiveness like came forward during this process for you. Yeah. So you were, I love that.

You said you were like preparing for a training for this like a major athletic event. So it makes me think, like where were you an athlete before the, who had trained for things? I'm yeah, I'm pretty athletic. Um, love, fitness and nutrition. So I had just. Reworked everything that I had done previously and, and focused it on.

Giving birth. Yeah, really just the lens of birding. I think it's really cool. Now, Saxony, I'm going to go somewhere where you it's. Okay. If you don't want to go there with me, but I, you use this word fear and I wanted to, I can't just gloss over that. You said I had a lot of fear and I had to work through that.

And I was wondering if you may share a little bit about, like, what, what was, what were you afraid of? Oh my goodness. I think. The physical, the physical pain. It's not something you can, you can go back on. Um, so in that moment, when it's time to have your baby, um, I don't know. I just, I didn't have confidence that my body could, could deliver a baby.

I think I felt like I was old and. And I had had really severe period cramps, which I had never equated those to preparation for childbirth. I think it has always been, they had always been written off as like, Oh, if you can't handle these, you'll never be able to handle childbirth. So yeah, I was just really afraid of, of the pain.

I think that that's. Absolutely fair. And I think it's valid and I hope that when people hear your story, And hear other stories on this podcast is that one of the things that I'm sure trying to do with the education through storytelling is like reinforcing over and over again, to like wash away that fear because your divine intuition power wisdom it's, it will emerge.

We, but we spend our whole lives not tapping into that power. Um, especially in our culture, like, we're just so used to, like you said, we can't go back, right? Like if you get a headache, we can kind of reverse it with the medicine or, but this is entering into something that, you know, once it starts, it's going to be a long time before it.

Stops, you know, usually, and with lack of sleep and all these things. And so I absolutely understand. And I experienced that fear myself. I know a lot of people listening are thinking about that fear and that anxiety. And, you know, through the rest of the story we're going to get to you, I think is, you know, one of the ways that you work through it is just by doing it.

But I think training, like you said, and preparing by doing things and natural childbirth and to move through that. Discomfort that you know is coming and it's just sensations that we've never felt before. So of course, anything we've never experienced, we may be afraid of, but just taking a deep breath and knowing that there are 7 billion people on this, um, most ha not most.

Like what if we did the statistics, it's probably like 99% still of the people on the planet or not born with an epidural. And that women find their divine power through this experience and that we rise. And so it is actually nothing to be afraid of. And so I love all the training that you did. How did you know that you were in labor?

Yeah. Oh, aye. Aye. Didn't until I was about to have a baby seriously. I was contracting for weeks. So every day I would feel these contractions and think like, Oh my gosh, maybe today's the day. And then I would go to sleep and I had heard. You know, sometimes that's when it really kicks in at night, I would wake up and there would be nothing.

And then maybe it would be a little more intense the next day, maybe nothing at all, but this went on for weeks. So, um, my due date came and went. Um, I was due November 5th, um, and I had a scheduled induction date on the 13th. Okay, let me interject. Did you have a doula? I did have a doula. Okay. And so your doula, were you in communication with her for those weeks that you were having prodromal labor?

I was. Okay. And she was like, this is prodromal labor. It sucks. What did she, what did she say to you to help you get through those weeks? Uh,

I don't remember. I, I, I wasn't really fussing about it. I, I think I just, I just dealt with it. So you were not calling her. I think my clients call me a lot. No, I wasn't. I wasn't calling, I had heard so many stories about people like. I dunno, like girl cries Wolf. So I was like, well, that's not going to be me.

I'm just gonna be quiet. And, and, and I'll know when things are happening. Um, she had checked in, so I let her know that that it was happening, but yeah. But I had my mind, like, I know this is not labor. Like this has been happening for weeks. So, you know, I never went to like triage or anything like that to get checked out.

Okay. And were you preparing for a hospital birth or a home birth? I was preparing for a hospital birth. Okay. And then were you with midwives or OB GYN or both? And OB GYN and OB GYN. Okay. I probably should have asked you that at the beginning, but in my mind, I'm like, Oh yeah, you're just laying in bed and preparing for your home birth, such a Brooklyn thing to do.

Yeah. So was your hospital close by that you are going to be delivering it? No. No. Okay. So how far of a drive it? Right the five minute drive. Okay. So in my mind, sometimes I think in New York, like, you know, you're just walking everywhere. And then I think, I guess you do get in a cab or drive over when you're in labor or take public transportation.

I don't know. We'll get to that in a minute. Now we're going to take a short break to just share a few things with you. Thanks for listening to the birth story podcast. I am so excited to announce the launch of my book. Birth story, a 42 week guide for your pregnancy. A collection of these birth stories, a ton of doula advice and journaling prompts.

You can order a copy [email protected]. It also will mean the world to me, if you'll spread the word about this podcast, so on Stitcher or on iTunes, just leave a review. Thanks. So you were having this prodromal labor, your doula had been in contact, but you said you just weren't really fussing about it.

And then like something must have changed that, um, let you know, like, Oh no, no. I am in labor. Yeah. So I think I'll like, I'll, I'll back up a little bit and say, I, I had an induction date set, but I did not want to be induced. So I was actually going into my OB GYN office to, um, get my ma membrane swept to try to help, uh, try to help.

Promote the prostoglandin I think that's it. Um, the fossa glandons and absolutely labor. So I was doing that and let's see, my mom actually had a flight in on Wednesday because she thought that I would have a baby on that day, like for sure by that day, because that was my induction date. But I asked my doctor if I could.

Delay my induction. I'm like, can we just keep doing the membranes sweep? Like I can feel my body changing. Um, I was sitting on my birthing ball and I actually like, felt my hips move and it wasn't a painful feeling. It was just, it was like preparation, just an awareness of opening. Yes, a hundred percent.

And so my mom is in town and I have a doctor's appointment. Sorry. I'm like jumping all over the place. Uh, this is, this is Thursday. So I go in and get my membrane swept at like 10:30 AM. And I had been going from like one centimeter and I was at one centimeter for a really long time. Then went to two.

That morning. I was like two and a half. She asked me to come back again later in the day to do another membrane sweep. So between that time, my mom and I went to lunch, we went for a little walk. We picked up some pottery that we had painted, and I just kept feeling this persistent. Cramping that kept getting more and more intense.

So I was like, wow, this, this might be the day. So I went back to the OB GYN and she put me on the monitor, told me I was contracting pretty regularly, like a minute to two minutes apart, but they weren't intense. So I didn't give it any credit. She did a sweep, measured me and she said, okay, well, you're like, Three ish centimeters.

Now you might have a baby today. And I was like, that's great. Maybe fingers crossed. I had had those, um, contractions for so long that I like, I didn't actually take it seriously. So that was like at three 30, at four 30, I got home and had plans to cook with my mom and my mood totally shifted. I felt like I needed to get in the shower and I didn't want her to cook.

And I got really irritable. Sounds about like labor. Yeah. So I got into the shower and that's fine. That's when my voice came, um, that like really got a role kind of moaning and groaning. And that's when I knew like, okay, this has happened. So I, I stayed in the shower for a while, but standing up didn't feel great squatting, which is what I thought I was going to.

Need and rely on for childbirth just felt way too intense. So I, I got out, put on my bathrobe and got on my bed and got on my hands and knees and started to work through my, uh, Work through the contractions that way or the surges if we're using hypnobirthing language. Yeah. And so at this point, like I wanted to talk about the hypnobirthing.

So is this something that you are doing just in your mind from the practice that you had, or were you playing, you know, music or listening to anything that was helping to guide you into that relaxation? What'd that look like for you? I had a playlist created, actually had two playlist created. One was like really fun and funky with.

Like push it and, and really fun music. I don't know why I thought that's what I would want during labor. And then I had one that was a lot more Zen. Um, so I had my affirmations on there. Lots of instrumental spa music, um, yoga music, think of harps and. And just flutes and that's what I relied on. And I still listen to it because it brings me back and it's like really joyful actually.

So I was on my hands and knees, listening to the affirmations and then it would just transition into soothing, calming music. And that helped you sink a little bit deeper. Tell me about breath. What types of breathing, where you, um, was your body helping you with, um, really deep breathing. Um, and just like not holding my breath there, like there's this instinct to maybe tighten up, um, like.

Tighten my pelvic floor, like contract that, just breathing and letting everything hang loose and low and taking advantage of any of the breaks that would come. So it's like, there's this surge and there's so much pressure. And then it subsides. And in that moment, just knowing like, okay, this is my moment to.

To get back together to mentally prepare for what's going to happen. Next kind of assess what I was feeling in that last surge. I love it. I was recently talking with some friends and I can get pretty analytical about things. And one of the things that had really helped me through my birds and some of the things that helped some of my clients in that those quiet moments is I remember like thinking if you charted out labor, there was more quiet, peaceful, pain-free complete relaxation, nothing going on time.

Then there were surges. Or contractions. And so that was one of the things that I think helped to bring me peace in those quiet moments was just like, this is really long compared to, you know, the surge or that pressure wave when it would occur. And so I really tried to find some. Enjoyment. And it sounds like you with your music and kind of being on your hands and knees and bed, and that shower time too, is really, it's so important to maximize the quiet moments where nothing is going on.

Sounds like you did a great job with that. Yeah. And I, and you know, I don't even know if I would have recognized the breaks that you get or the, the quiet moments had I not. Educated myself taking the, the birthing class. I think it's just there so often. In media and TV, you see women in labor and it's like this frantic screaming, like nonstop a friend's gay.

And that's, it's just not how it was. So just having that awareness that there would be a time when my body stopped surging contracting and I would have those breaks. So I was like, I was looking for them. Yep. And some of our teaching and the hypnobirthing or hip, no babies. It's that when you there's a distinct start, there's a distinct peak and there's a distinct end, but the release happens right after the peak of a surge.

So you'll notice as that wave starts to kind of like. Fall down that that's when the practice of falling down with it begins and occurs. And that's one of the things that we teach and natural childbirth, um, is that once you achieve the peak and start to fall down, that that's where you start to release, um, instead of waiting for the surge to be completely over.

So like, where was your partner right now? Um, cause your mom was like in the kitchen cooking and irritating, you.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she was making bacon and that's how she knew. Cause they told her to stop making bacon and that's like, you know, one of my favorites. So I called my partner at like five 30 and said, I'm in labor. We're having a baby today. Um, he had plans to go to the gym. Um, and I said, go to the gym. You know, I'm going to be in this state for awhile because I a thought that typical first time mom, I'm going to be in labor for like 24 hours, 36 hours, maybe.

So, um, He's like, okay, sure. Like you sure you don't want me to come home? No, please go to the gym. Like I'm I don't need you here. Like I'm breathing, doing all of my things. About an hour later, everything changed. I, I was like, I need him here. So he was boxing. Uh, my mom. Texted him called him no answer. And then I'm like breathing suit through really intense surges saying like, okay, you need to call this boxing gym.

You need to ask for this trainer, you need to ask if he can come to the phone, like I need him home now. So. Someone hands him a phone. He drops, everything comes home right away. And it just escalated really fast. I had been, I had called my doula, I think right after I called him and said, yeah, this is what I'm feeling.

This is what I'm experiencing. How do I know when I should ask you to come over? And her response to me was, well, do you think I should come over now? She had a very hands off approach. Like what, what is your body telling you? What do you think? Like I'm not going to dictate to you what should happen? So I, again, like, I, I thought calling anyone in right now, it would have just been premature and everyone would be sitting around like, Why?

Like, why did you make us stop what's happening? So, anyway, like I think shortly after getting my package or back home, um, I asked my mom or I met her, my doula and said, I think you should come now because things started to escalate and I needed, I needed help and support. That makes a lot of sense to me.

I am. I have that conversation with my clients all the time about when the. Like, when do you call your doula? Right. And it's, it's like, you'll, you'll know when to call your doula. Like, if you're like, I think I might need help. I don't know. You probably, you know, but when you need help, like, there's no question in your mind when that happens.

And for some, for some women, it happens early on in the labor and for some, it happens. You know, kind of close to the end. Everybody's different with how, like you were very prepared. I will say Saxony. I think there's a teachable moment here too. Is prodromal labor that you had for those weeks. It's very annoying.

It can be painful and just kind of drag out, but it is actually doing work. It's thinning your cervix and helping the baby to get lower and engaged in the pelvis. So many times women who have long, long, long prodromal labors, then once it kicks into active labor, it can go much quicker because. What you've done for weeks is what many women do in early labor.

Um, if that makes sense. So sometimes if you don't have any of those prodromal symptoms and you go into labor, it could take your body 12, 16, you know, 18 hours to fin the cervix out and really kind of get into active LIBOR. But it sounds like to me, just listening to your story, your prodromal labor had already achieved that along with the membrane sweeping.

And so that cervix was already, I don't know what your number was, but I'm going to assume that day you are already close to a hundred percent have faced. And the cervix was so thin and stretchy and floppy. It was starting to open. So that then when the, um, you know, all of the good hormones. Were released and kicked in that's in the signals to say, go into labor.

And it was, it sounds like it was go time for you right away. Yeah. It was go time. I'm like, did your doula make it? I didn't realize all of that was happening and that the prodromal labor was potentially putting me, um, in a place where. My active labor would be shorter. Um, so where was I? Um, so you had just gotten your husband like home from the gym and your mom had stopped cooking the bacon and you called your doula and said, I need you.

Yeah. So everyone is there. I'm still laboring. On my bed, hands and knees, which was just the best for me. My doula was talking me through my contract, uh, contractions, like afterwards, maybe asking me how they felt. She was timing them, reminding me too. I D I was doing this thing where my, my voice would get really low.

Like my partner jokes. He's like, yeah, you hit octaves that I hadn't heard before. Um, and, and so that my throat wasn't too. Damaged from the, from the light moaning. I can't remember what she was telling me to do though. Um, my partner was just like rubbing my back and in some moments it felt right. Really good.

And then others, I, I felt bad, but I had to say like, please, I just, I can't have any hands on me. And. Yeah. And I think my mom was just really nervous. That sounds about right. Yeah. My midwife, I couldn't. Um, so I have a really low as we can hear. Can I have a really low raspy voice to begin with? I like lose my voice.

Often. And when I was in labor, I had that low guttural thing going on and my midwife said, keep singing your labor songs. She called it my labor song, deep guttural tones, and octaves, you know, that we've never heard of coming out. And I just thought that was really beautiful. I remember being on the toilet and kind of like Rocky back and forth with this, like my, my throat hurt.

Like I could. I feel it, but I couldn't stop the sounds from coming. And she just said, keep singing your song. Can you sing that Labour song? I was like, okay. So when it became, when I mind shifted for it to be more of a musical like music therapy almost in the moment, I think it really, it really helped because I, I breathed and embraced as if I was singing rather than, I don't know, just having a scratchy throat.

Yeah. So I imagine your doula asked you to breathe or to like sing, you know? Yeah. Breathe, make it like, but was so encouraging. And then. Did she, like at some point, were you like, I need to go to the hospital now or did your doula help you in guiding that decision? I'm wondering like if your water had broken or if you had bloody show or mucus coming out, kind of besides the guttural tones and the contractions that were close together, were you having any other signs that were leaning you towards?

We should probably head to the hospital. I was, I started. Vomiting. So at a certain point, I, I had, I was vomiting. Uh, but yeah, my partner and my mother, like bringing in buckets and in my head, I was like, I think this is transition. I think, I think this is transition. I should probably go to the hospital soon, but.

In, but I was also thinking like, this is, this is so fast. This can't be, this can't be it right now. Like, and then I also got really scared because it like transitions really intense. And in my mind, I, I thought I was there, but I also thought it was too early and was, um, I was like, Nervously anticipating what was going to happen next?

Did you have this moment where you were like, I can't, I can't do this anymore. If this is going to go on for 10 more hours, like, is that a lot of my clients will describe transition that they're afraid it's not over. Like, they're like, I think I'm in transition, but I'm more afraid that it's not over and I cannot do this for this.

This transition for a long time, you know? Yeah. I was like, Oh my gosh, between the pressure and the contractions and vomiting and like I'm hot and I'm cold and I'm sweating and I'm freezing. It was just, there were so many feelings and it felt like it was all happening too quickly. So I was certain that I was going to be in this state for like another 10 hours and.

That was not the case, but I got to a point where I. I had this really long break, really long contraction and a really long break and remember saying like, Oh my gosh, just feels so good. Um, and, and then it started to intensify again, that was when I asked about going to the hospital. So I'm actually looking at notes from my doula.

Um, so at nine o'clock I asked about going to the hospital. Um, and again, she said, well, do you think, do you think we should go to the hospital? And at that time I was like, I think we probably should have left like 30 minutes ago. So. She was like, okay, well we should probably call an Uber. So my partner called an Uber and we get everything in.

And of course, like I have my list. So we're packing my birthing ball, which during labor, I actually never used it just wasn't comfortable for me. Um, and I labored in Uber for like 45 minutes, like the most intense labor. Why so long, the hospital where my OB GYN delivers just happens to be 45 minutes away.

And I was so set on going to that hospital that I, I don't know, I had it in my mind and wasn't in a place to. To call an audible and go somewhere closer. Yeah. Okay. I only like act surprised because I'm like it's New York. It gets in there like a hospital on every corner, you know? Nope. I knew that I would be comfortable at that hospital that I toured with my doctor.

That was just what I hadn't in my head. And I know we, like, I make up a plan and we should call it a birth preference, but I don't know in my brain, that was. That's what I wanted to happen. Okay. This is like a movie scene for me. So like who's in the Uber, the Uber driver, you are, um, my goal is in the front seat, my partner and I are in the back seat right behind.

I'm like on my. The side of my hip, because the thought of sitting on my butt was just like, it wasn't going to happen because your baby's head was right there. Yeah. You can't sit down. I'm like, if you cannot sit down, you are very close staffing. A baby. I can not sit down. And my mom was in the backpack.

Oh, my gosh. Okay. So everybody's in here is your I'm just so curious, like what your Uber driver is doing, um, is your Uber driver totally calm, cool, collected. Like this is just normal life for an Uber driver in Brooklyn. The Uber driver was so professional. He didn't make me feel bad. He was driving safely, but swiftly, yeah, I.

I don't know I was, I was so nervous that he was gonna make me feel some kind of shame or feel bad and he never did. It was like, he knew that I needed to get, I was calling. So the Uber driver was great and I I'm just in. The back seat going through the most intense part of life on my hip thinking like, Oh my gosh, this is just like, what is, what is happening?

Am I going to happen baby, in this car? So, so I can see when we're getting near, when we're pretty close, maybe like four minutes away. And at that point I just said, I need to push and feeling sensation like E. Like I've never felt before just this urge comes over me and you and I couldn't even stop myself.

Um, yeah, it just happens. So my doula said started taking, uh, short breaths, the breaths. Um, so I'm doing that, but I'm like, but my body is also telling me that I need to. Push. So I'm taking these short breaths and also like grunting, um, because it's uncontrollable. I mean, it's a reflex, so it's really hard to have control mental control over a reflex.

Yeah. So we get it to the hospital. I start to get out of the car, my mom and doula say, well, like, sit here, we'll get you a wheelchair. And I'm like, um, there, no, not happening. So I'm holding my crotch and my belly waddling up to the hospital door. And they, they meet me there with a wheelchair, which I can't sit in.

Right. I'm like, I don't know what you think I'm going to do. Like I cannot get on my butt right now and my water breaks there. Um, my mom is like, Oh, I think her water broke. Oh, Nope. It definitely did. So I. And kneeling on the wheelchair and they're like, you can't do this. So I don't know how I got it together.

I was just like, we need to get to the floor or, and they need to have this baby. So where, um, we're coming up and we go through the doors and. I don't know if someone from the hospital was asking like, who let you in? And I was just like, I let myself in, there was no triaged at this point because it just.

Because your baby's coming out. That's my baby was, my baby was coming. So they asked me to get on the table so that they can so that they can check my cervix. They take a look and I was fully dilated. So there was a bit of discussion about like, well, if you want your doctor to come, it might take a little while.

And I was just like, I don't care right now. I need to have a baby. That's what I need to do. Um, And it's so funny. Yeah. When other people think that like, something like the world is rational right now, like, like when you've been through naturally Burr and you're in this like labor zone, which is an alternate universe, and then the people around you are trying to act like it's like normal life.

And you're like, this is so weird. It's like being on some drug trip where you're like, I don't understand what's happening. Just, I just need to push my baby out, be in my arm. Like I just need to have a baby. It's not a big deal. Um, so anyway, uh, I, I wanted to continue to push on my hands and knees. Um, and I felt like I got some pushback there.

Well, I don't feel like I did. I definitely did. Which, um, wasn't great. Wanted me on my, on my back. Um, but I think this is again where having. Done the classes and having a doula and knowing how to advocate for myself came in handy, because I just kept asking like, calmly, like I'm, I'm not medicated right now.

I can feel everything. I really want to labor on my hands and knees. Um, so the attending finally, let me get back on my hands and knees. And then there was this, this coaching through the pushing. Uh, and I think this is because if you're medicated, maybe you don't feel the contractions, but I could feel everything.

So you don't need someone to coach you. I didn't need someone to coach me like I am. And also I wanted to push. So when he had to tell me to do that was very natural. So, yeah. Um, I had my partner rubbing my back. I'm on my hands and knees and, and we get to this point where I've, it's the ring of fire. And I had heard of this and felt it and thought like, once again, Oh my goodness.

I just, I don't know if I can do this, like, Oh, it's okay. It's so intense. And my doctor actually showed up and I would say like, when she showed up, can you hear the baby? Um, when she showed up, things got really calm and it was quiet and they were telling me like, you're almost there. You're almost there, but I didn't believe them.

I thought they were just telling me that to keep me calm. And then it felt like she was saying, sending me my baby through my legs. Next thing I knew I, I had a baby in my arms. And it was amazing. Oh, amazing. That ring of fire lasts for just a second, second. And it's so symbolic though. I mean, it's almost like the door that's opening, right?

It's like, it's this huge symbolism. It's just one second. It's like, it's literally, as long as it takes to actually open a door, it's like, I'm going to open and stretch just the rest of the way. And then the baby just slips out, you know, and into your arms. How long until your third stage of labor, when the placenta delivered it fell out.

I think probably for me minutes later. Okay. So pretty fast. It's usually like within five to 30 minutes. So like that's right on, right on schedule, especially when you're unmedicated in your body is physiologically knows what it's doing. Um, the placenta typically will release very quickly. So did they wait to cut the cord until after the placenta was delivered or did they do that kind of in between?

I think it was. I think it was after the placenta was delivered. Um, and the cord had stopped pulsing. I think all that rich oxygen needed like cord and blood is going right to your baby who needs. Yeah. Yeah. And then, um, did your partner cut the cord or did you cut the cord or the doctor. Yeah, my partner.

Okay. I know it's not, it's not like everyone's cup of tea, but you know, but it's one of those things, especially like in our culture that we just pass down from generation to generation. So it's kind of. A nice thing. I just want to say, like, I want to interject that I'm so thankful that you are educated and had done your classes and listened to your podcasts and all of the things so that you could advocate for yourself because I cannot, I cannot just this point, like you get to the hospital and they're like, okay, get on your back.

Okay. Like you are in control of your body and you're birding. All the time. It's like it is your right to listen to your intuition and what your body is telling you to do and what position you need to get into. Just like you are in that cab. And your body told you to be over on your right hip. Your body is going to show you what position it needs to be in so that the baby is in an ideal birthing position.

Sometimes it's on our side. Sometimes it's on our back. And sometimes that's on our hands and knees or squatting. I mean, there's infinite amounts of birding, you know, ways to push your baby out. And ultimately it's not what someone tells you to do. It's what your body shows you, it needs. And so when your body's showing you what it needs, either yourself or those around, you need to advocate that that's what goes.

And so I'm so proud of you Saxony for using your voice. Being educated in using your voice so that you could have that best possible birthing experience, you know, on your terms. It's really beautiful. So thank you. Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son. So, thank you so much. Well, thank you for sharing your story.

I always close my podcasts with asking everybody you're four months in what has been your favorite tool or baby product? You know, post-birth Oh my goodness. Uh, I have a carrier that I really love. Mmm. It's a  carrier and it's like a leopard print, really sassy, wild child design. Um, yeah, I love it. I love being able to hold my little guy close to me.

Love it. So for everyone listening, I will link to it in the show notes, but if someone's driving around right now, how do you spell? Calu go. Uh, C O L U G O. So the  carrier, and I will try to find your leopard print one, and I will put it in the show notes. If anyone wants to go ahead and take your advice and buy the cargo carrier to be their favorite baby product also.

So well, Saxony, I just love your birth story. It was really inspiring and uplifting and funny parts too. And I'm so thankful for having you on the show. Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me.

Thank you for listening to birth story, Michael, if you will walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want, no matter what that looks like.