47 Doing it at Home Podcast Hosts Matthew & Sarah Bivens

Wow! This power couple Matthew and Sarah Bivens are the hosts behind the Doing it at Home (DIAH) Podcast. I am so excited that they came on the Birth Story Podcast to share their journey from leaving the traditional OBGYN setting and adventuring into the world of home birth. They decided to document this big decision and revolutionize the way that parents plan and prepare for home births. This is an episode you don’t want to miss! And don’t forget to subscribe to their podcast too!

TRANSCRIPTION

What does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what did the day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi. My best friends. Call me hides. I'm a certified birth doula host of this podcast and author of birth story and interactive pregnancy guidebook. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries, and I believe every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a state.

So here we are within each one to get answers to these tough questions, since birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories and share our feelings and of course chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood. And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes, you will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant, or you just love a good birth story.

I hope you will stick around and be part of this birth story family. Thank you for listening to the birth story podcast. If you are tuning in for the first time, I want to encourage you to start the beginning. I want you to go on a journey with me and allow me to be your virtual doula and teach you. All the things along the way.

So I'm just going to give you a couple of highlights. Some of the earlier podcast episodes, if you are just now tuning en so very first episode, episode one, you can learn all about me, who I am, why I became a doula, why it is I do what I do and also my very own birth story with myself. Second child Jagger, then I've interviewed some really cool CEOs.

So episode three, Tori Jones is the CEO of ETL triangle, and she was awesome. Featured on Rachel Hollis's. The rise podcast episodes seven was Rachel coli. The CEO of can do kiddo. She was on good morning America. She's an incredible occupational therapist that teaches you how to play with your baby in her.

First stories are incredible. Episode 10 was one of my best friends. Amy who had a V back in the car. We have done episodes on micro preemies episode, 1821 on international adoption out of Uganda, 24 and 25. Oh, those episodes, like get a box of tissues. They're on Seragusi and cancer. We've addressed hypnobirthing fertility, really easy, joyful medicated birds, really hard, long labors, medicated, unmedicated, everything in between.

So I hope you'll start at the beginning. Let the birth story podcast take you on a journey all the way through and enjoy this episode and then remembered a rewind all the way back to episode one. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome Matthew and Sarah Bivins to the birth story podcast. Thank you guys for listening because today I have the hosts of the doing it at home podcast.

So Hey guys. Hey, and before we get into your beautiful home birth story with baby Maya, I wanted you guys to share a little bit about this like huge, powerful, amazing podcast that you guys are hosting. You just hit episode 256. So you guys have been doing this for a while. It's the only podcasts. That's a hundred percent dedicated to empowering, loving, and raw conversations about home birth.

I love your podcast and I send a hundred percent of my clients that are looking at having a natural birth and don't want medical interventions. Even if they're burning at the hospital, I send them to your podcast. And so I really feel like it's just super empowering and I love what you guys do. And so will you just share a little bit about like what your story and your journey is and how you launched this podcast?

Yeah, absolutely. It's so fun hearing that, you know, the way you describe it all, it's like, wow, that does sound cool. But yes, doing it at home, the concept emerged in. Summer of 2016 when we were pregnant with our daughter Maya. And we did not know we were going to do home birth initially from the start.

That was a journey in and of itself and a process of exploration and soul searching and conversations between us, you know, amongst of a friends, others. And then finally with our midwives who we decided to. Use for, for our prenatal care and for our birth and et cetera. So we just felt like at the time, when we chose home birth, that we didn't see many people like us around choosing home birth.

We didn't know anyone really who had had a home birth. And we, Matthew has a podcasting background. So he had been podcasting for a year, at least at that point in time, I believe. And he had the knowledge and the gear and such. And so we thought, well, it might be kind of cool to just sit down and document story, you know, our journey to home birth and from reactions and feedback, you know, wanted and unwanted from friends and family to preparing and the birth plan and our birth team and the fears and the doubts that might come up around all of it.

So we just decided to record that for ourselves and we figured we'd launch it, you know, and it'd be a 10, maybe 15 episode kind of thing that just stayed at that. And there, it was, there would be our story, our doing it at home journey, but it's, it's morphed and has become something bigger than we could have ever thought since then.

Very bad. Yeah, you guys saw a need in the market and, and fulfilled the need. And I think it's incredibly awesome. So Matthew went down, I'm super curious. What's your other podcast or what was your other podcast? Uh, so I had a marketing podcast initially. Um, I was running a marketing agency and I launched a show and I got to about episode 13 or 14 before I quickly realized that that was not my passion at all.

And my passion was really talking about and sharing my personal development journey. So, um, I launched a show called having it all, and that was the show that where I really got into podcasting. And, and I've been doing that show for almost four years now. So I had been. Podcasting with that particular show for about a year, like Sarah said before, we decided to go ahead and launch doing it at home as well.

Really exciting. This makes a lot of sense to me though, because you guys are really good at marketing and I love your brand. So if anyone's listening and your mirror computer, if you go to D I a H, which stands for doing it at home podcasts. Dot com you can look at their beautiful website. And I just want to call out a couple of things that we should address right up front on your website.

And that's, if anyone is curious about home birth, number one, you need to subscribe to I, but also they have a free ebook. So 12 things that made our home birth. Awesome. And so you can just go to the website, put your name and your email, and you can download their free ebook. And I feel like this is a really good starting point for anyone.

Who's just getting really curious about homebirth. And especially if you're curious about natural birth, meaning drug free birth, even if you're birthing in a hospital, this is just a perfect podcast for everybody. And so I also wanted to say that you guys have some pretty cool gear

wagons. Awesome. So there's some birth of junkie like sweatshirts and tee-shirts and some really cool. Hold tanks. And if you're a doula or a midwife, you can like grab a mug. And then there's also like the have babies where you make them with a really cool logo. And I love the one that says, like, let's talk home birth.

And so they look really cozy and comfortable and sort of anyone just wants some swag. Make sure you also hit up Matthew and Sarah's website so that you can order something to support you in your home birth. Journey so, well, let's get into it. You guys, Sarah, you just alluded to like this, wasn't an obvious this path for you from the beginning.

So like, were you trying to get pregnant? Was it okay. The fertility journey, like kind of, what was that like finding out you were pregnant. It was so exciting to find out we were pregnant. We were very intentional about getting pregnant and we were very blessed with that process. So we decided in December that we wanted to make a baby and we went about the proper actions for that.

And I have a period tracker and I knew, you know, when I was. Fertile and such and January the ninth took a test and found out I was pregnant. So just very excited. And then of course, like tiny terror, like, Oh my gosh, this is real, you know, as I'm staring there at the stick, but. Super just excited and grateful and blessed.

And we were very ready to expand our family. So that part, you know, was, I guess, easy if you want to put it that way. And then in terms of deciding the birthing path, That to an extent, felt easy at first as well, because we kind of just went with what we assumed we should do. And that was, you know, set up an appointment, do the ultrasound, confirm the pregnancy and, you know, just be in touch with the OB GYN, who would.

Facilitate the birth. That was just the assumption from the beginning. Now, were you going like prior to getting then, had you like already, did you have an established OB GYN or midwife that had just done like your routine exams or annual exams? This was the OB whom I had seen for two. Maybe exams in the couple years we had been living in Atlanta.

So not too much of an established relationship again, just going with, well, this is the person that I have seen for these sorts of, you know, issues or not even issues, but for this area of my life. So I guess this is just where I go. Oh, that makes sense. Okay. So then when did you, so did you go down that path?

Like, did you go to the OB GYN office and get a confirmation appointment? We certainly did. Yes. We went, when we were about, uh, nine ish weeks, I want to say and solve a little peanut there on the screen and got the photos and we're all excited and got the projected guest state and that, you know, that was that.

All right. So this is January 9th. You find out what was your guest's date? September it changed once or twice actually, but I landed on labor day of that year, which that, you know, humor was not lost on us. So beginning of September. All right. So, um, typically like, what is that around like the fourth or the fifth?

It was. Yeah, so like I said, it changed once or twice. It was like, Oh, it's going to be the six. And then it was no it's going to be the fifth. And so we just knew we would have a baby in September. That was just what I went with. Number one thing we need to tell people is I love that you said guest state, and this is a term that we like are trying to really push in the birthing community.

And it's when you're trained in hypnobirthing or any kind of like hip, no babies. Classes are another one Lamaze. We use this term guest date rather than due date, because we're just taking the guests. Cause only 5% of babies show up on that day that we circle on the calendar that says, this is the day.

So tell me about your pregnancy. Then pregnancy was, was beautiful and amazing. And I loved the experience of being pregnant. I loved how my body changed. I love the. Just this, this whole new experience of me, of course, a couple things here and there. Not the most pleasant sensations or experiences. Like I did have a little bit of nausea at the beginning and kind of towards the end there, my hip was falling asleep on me a little bit.

Yeah. But outside of that, I remained active and just felt very. Very loved on by Matthew and Matthew was incredibly supportive of the whole process and throughout as well, you know, once we did shift to homebirth, which is kind of an aside, you know, even before that he was at every single appointment and I just, yeah, I loved the feeling of.

Kind of having these super powers while pregnant. That's a really good way to, and then they just get stronger, you know, through the birth and then stronger, like through Parenthood, we do have some super powers. And so does Matthew. And so do all the partners out there too well. Okay. So now I'm so curious, like you're pregnant, you're feeling pretty good.

You've like gone to this confirmation appointment and then like, what happens? What shifts for you? Well, I'm looking at Matthew because you were a part of this too. Yeah. Yeah. So we were a few months in about 17, 18 weeks actually. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So we're, we're, we're a little ways in, and, um, as Sarah mentioned with getting pregnant, we were very intentional.

So, you know, before getting pregnant, we sat down and talked about it and, and we went, we went forward. So we had the same sort of conversation. About our birth. Like what, what do we want to experience in our birth? And we made a list, we just made a checklist of things. And then on one of our OB appointments, we brought the list to him and we said, Hey, these are the things that we would like to experience and things on there.

Like, um, Sarah didn't want to be connected to machines. She didn't want to have to be on her back if she didn't feel like pushing on her back, uh, we wanted to have water. Know, like a shower and different things like that. So, um, Oh, food be able to eat or drink whatever Sarah needed. And we just presented him with a list and, you know, he, he was a, he was a super nice guy and he basically just went down the list and just said, no, we can't do that.

Can't do that one. Can't do that one. So after that appointment, we were pretty clear that we weren't going to birth at least in this hospital. Um, because. That was what I wanted to experience on that list. So we then started to exploring what are some of our other options. And we know, we know people here in the Atlanta community that have done all different types of births and, and basically had some information that, that we didn't.

So we, we had conversations with them and we were introduced to the Atlanta birth center, uh, which for me sounded great because. I was nervous about doing anything outside of the hospital at the beginning. And mostly it was just because I didn't know, I didn't, I was ignorant. I just didn't have a lot of information or a lot of knowledge around birth.

And so anything out of the hospital made me nervous. So I thought, all right, well, a birth center, it's kind of like a, you know, hospital light. And we, he had conversations with the people who were running the birth center and, uh, their open date was going to be after our guests date. They're my baby. Yeah.

So then we were like, all right, what are some of our other options? And, um, we were introduced to, was it a doula or a midwife that we talked to first that then introduced us to a nurse midwife friend who worked in a hospital who knew of home birth midwives. Got it. Yes. And so then we were introduced to the, the midwife group that we ended up working with and, you know, my mind, I was still sort of like, boy, this home birth thing is scary.

You know, all the fears of what if this happens, what if that happens? And then we had our first conversation with the women who would, would ultimately attend our birth as our midwives. And I was. I was so onboard with home birth after that conversation, you know, just everything about it. The whole entire experience was, was night and day from what we experienced in the hospital, uh, in terms of just the amount of time that we were able to spend with them, um, just their level of knowledge and expertise, and just seeing how many hundreds and hundreds of babies they had had birthed.

And, you know, I was able to get all my questions answered and so leaving that appointment. I was fully on board with home birth. I was fully there and Sarah was mostly there and toss the ball back and forth at one point in time, you know, it was, I was kind of advocating for home birth. And you, like you said, you were like, not so much because of what you didn't know, you didn't know.

And then once you got a little bit on board, I somehow back backed off a little bit and then, you know, the timeline is a little blurry, but we ended up singing. Yeah. It was just like, like Sarah, where this is. This is, this would be perfect for us and everything. And so then both of us were high five and then like, yep, we're doing a home birth.

And we totally transferred our, you know, the care over to this, this midwife group. And, uh, we completed the rest of our pregnancy with, with them and it was amazing. It was incredible. Okay. Well, I have a lot of questions as you can mention. So the birth in statements, the first thing I want to bring up is like, I'm happy you.

How amazing that you guys as a couple, I don't know. How old are you guys? How old were you when you were having pregnant with Maya? I was 26, 27 30. Okay. So 26, 22, seven and 30. So relatively young, you know, I would say, and going into your OB appointment, like aware and educated and you have a list and you have like, I need a quiz now on the  dot gov that says like, is home birth right.

For you? These questions to your OB GYN. So I'm like, I want to know a lot more about that for our, for everyone who's listening. Like where did you come up with this list? How did you think about getting a list? How did you already know what things would be important to you or what to ask your provider?

Um, going into that appointment. So, and again, just teachable moment. So anyone who's listening right now and they're yeah. 17 or 18 weeks pregnant and they're planning a hospital birth, you know, what are some of the questions that you would suggest that they ask? Yeah, that's, that's great. So it's a combination of so many things I would say at that point in our lives as well, we were very much being intentional and questioning and tinkering about everything in our lives.

So I think just one thing right there that I learned coming out of the pregnancy and birth experience is the opportunity to mirror and almost have it. This. This little microcosm of your life, you know, that this is a great opportunity to assert yourself, be bold, make choices that are empowering, you know, and that crosses over into other things of your life, whether that's your relationships, your job, your health.

So I really took the pregnancy and birth process as a. As a tool as an opportunity, you know, for my life cause and how it could jumpstart me then in some other hood, because I knew then that it was a whole other ball of wax. So just kind of broadening the view. I think of, yes, this is birth and pregnancy, but it's also speaks to beyond, you know, in your life and how you're showing up.

So that was the energy. I believe we were carrying into the birth experience. And so the. In terms of specifics of what I wanted to experience. Some of those ideas were planted in my brain after watching this really great DVD series called happy, healthy child. And I can send you links and stuff to that, but it was a multi-part series and it really just highlighted and portrayed birth in ways that I had never seen before, uh, ranging from natural to, you know, interventions, but it was just really holding birth in this.

Hi, beautiful, powerful space that I really had no context for it before that. And so in seeing the example of others, I was able to kind of, you know, as if it were from a menu or a buffet, kind of pick what I liked. And from that, that felt like to me, and what resonated with me was not having any medical intervention if, if not necessary.

And so I just thought about myself in the experience of birth, you know, being a physically. Trying mentally, emotionally, spiritually challenging thing. And I didn't want to have to be restricted by anything if, if I didn't need it. Yeah. That's where the no wires or, you know, no IVs or anything kind of came into play.

So those were some of the first things that came up for me was I wanted a ability to move up about freely. And, and so that's where sort of that came up. And then, you know, from there, it was just other little things like the water element, you know, I'm very much someone who likes to go to water if I don't feel well or things like that.

So I knew water would be a helpful agent for me in the experience. And, you know, in terms of, you know, what you said of the maturity, you know, that we brought to the table that was recognized in our OB, despite. Him not necessarily agreeing with us. He acknowledged that. And I remember that was a very powerful moment.

When I shared with him, we shared with him everything we wanted to experience, and we even threw out the term home birth before we knew that's what we were doing. And, you know, he just acknowledged the. The aplomb, if you will, the energy we brought to the, to the conversation. And I said, yes, you know, my goal here is to just be understood with one another.

We don't necessarily have to agree. And, and that's okay. You know, I'm not looking for you to advocate anything other than what. Is within your, you know, value system. And we can have a really dynamic, engaged, loving conversation about this. And so I think going in with that goal, rather than trying to convert anyone to our ideas, or to try to get anyone to change their methodologies was helpful as well.

Yeah. I think it's sort of saying that, you know, both Sarah and I are balanced lifestyle coaches and we work with people. Sarah works with moms. I work with dads and in our work. Helping our clients to feel empowered about their lives in general is a, is a big part of what we do and, and helping people to really connect with their own personal power and to be intentional about what they want to create in life.

You know, the metaphor that life is a canvas and you get to paint whatever you want on it. So that was something that we had been studying. And, you know, we had had been in coaching and mentorship ourself for many years. And then we had also been teaching it with our clients. So the idea of being clear as to what we wanted to experience being space, having specific things in mind, um, having that clarity, but also not being attached.

Cause you know, there's certain things, things that you just can't control. Um, but still, you know, painting the picture that what, what we wanted, that was something that was very much a part of our lives. In all areas and the DVD series that Sarah mentioned before, one of the things that I remember from it is it, it talked about feeling empowered in your birth, no matter where you decided to, to, you know, bring baby earth side, you can feel empowered.

You can feel like you had a say, whether it's a hospital, home birth person or whatever. And so that. Very strongly resonated with us. So then everything Sarah said is spot on. You know, we got clear as to what we wanted to experience, and we released the attachment that our experience would have to happen with this particular doctor in this particular hospital.

You know, we, we knew just based on our lifestyles are how healthy we were that right. We're very low risk. And so that really opened up options for us. And we just, we were, we were. We were clear and, uh, and that really served us well in the entire process. I think that was so beautifully said by both of you guys.

And I hope that people are listening that are pregnant right now that they're at least being curious about home birth or birth center, or if they're birthing in a hospital that you just inspired them to really make like a life shift in their mind of, like you said, Sarah, and being bold and asserting themselves and kind of.

Creating a foundation of the type of parent that you're going to be. And so I just think that was just so beautiful. You could write a book on that right there. If you haven't already. I don't know. Well, another question I had before we get into that. Story is when you were meeting with the midwife drives and transferring care.

And this is going to be, probably be particular to where you live, but was the hospital open to just transferring your records? Do they transfer him to the home birth midwives or do they transfer your records? Do you, and then you give them to the home birth midwives. And then I also, that was part, one of the question is kind of how that communication happens between where you were at and then where you decided to be, and then cost and payment.

Like, did you have insurance and is this something that was. In network, if you, if I can say that Durham and network or out of network are covered or not covered, I was wondering if you could just share a little bit about, I know that probably didn't play a role in your decision, but for other people that are out there, kind of just what that looked like.

Yes. And those are great questions and things to look at, you know, when you're making this choice for the transferring of care. I remember it being pretty effortless in the sense that, you know, we established what we needed with our midwife and then the couple of things, which wasn't a lot, but the couple of things, you know, as far as medical information or medical history to be transferred, I just simply ask that they be released.

And gave them my midwives point of contact information, and then it was sent to them after like one or two reminders. So that then, you know, that was pretty much taken care of. And. One thing I'll mention about our midwifery care that we also liked is they worked with a backup OB for, in a hospital. And that would have been our plan B or C essentially, if we did need a transfer.

And we saw him at one point during our pregnancy for the anatomy scan. So we had rapport and established kind of connection with him in the event that we would ever have to see him, you know, For the birthing experience. So that was something I also liked about our midwives is that they had that relationship.

And so they were in on the process as well. And then as far as payment, we. Did have insurance, not really great insurance, but we did and comparison the side by side of had we gone yeah. With the hospital birth and then what we paid out of pocket. So not covered by any insurance. Um, our, our midwifery and our home birth.

Yeah. Was significantly less expensive than a Haas. Our hospital birth would have been. And that would have been a hospital birth with zero interventions of any kind. And if there was so much as, you know, a dab of that added on, it would have just been 10 plus thousand easily and are, um, midwifery care and home birth experience from prenatal, the birth and postpartum visits was $3,500.

Wow. I'll just pay it in cash and we were happy to do it. That is, um, I mean, I'm just thinking about like what my fees are as a doula and I'm like, wow. So that's really inexpensive, super affordable compare. I mean, I just had some moms that just had some inductions and I'm not kidding you. And their medical bills were over $80,000.

Wow. I'm like how so? $3,500. That's amazing. Okay. I hope that that's like another empowering thing. If that was on someone's mind the cost. I just wanted to get that off the table. Like take it away, you know, it's, it's less expensive for sure. To burn at home than it is to birth at a hospital. Okay. So now you have had this podcast, you've had 256 episodes.

You've birthed the dead at home, and I want to dive into the birth story of Maya, but I just want, if there was a couple of key things that you think are just so different about birthing at home from your own experience and what you've learned from all of the people that you've interviewed, like, what would you say to my audience about homebirth?

Oh, gosh. Okay. So the biggest differences and you know, this is of course us collecting and living vicariously through others who have had hospital birth experiences, but what I gather and, you know, you can chime in Matthew to w what you think. I mean, the biggest just being the physical environment itself and the impact that that has, whether that's the fluorescent lighting or the beeping and the monitoring, or the people coming in and out that you may not know.

And, or more people than just the sheer roster of people that you do have more control of when it's in your home. And I would say the next biggest piece that I hear from moms is just that and ability to move around freely. Whereas, you know, some didn't really have that option, whether it was because, um, you know, meds they had been given then, or things they are attached to or liability that said that, but.

That, that biggest thing being that women could move around and birth in different positions that they, that they wanted to, that could actually facilitate, you know, the labor and birthing process. So that's what comes to my mind. What do you think about you? Would you add anything? I think it's differences.

No, I would just reemphasize that first one. I mean, you know, comfort is such a huge part of, of smooth birth, how comfortable mom feels and at home you can control that environment. And so, you know, we'll talk about it with our story, but we did a lot of things to really make our environment as comfortable as possible.

And so that, that just stands out as the biggest difference. You get, you get a chance to create the most comfortable, peaceful, tranquil environment that you want when you get to when you do it at home. And, uh, that was game changer for us. And for a lot of the parents that we've interviewed on the podcast.

Cool. I would say that as a doula, too, that works mostly in the hospital, is that achieving a private, safe, undisturbed birth, uh, to use the words of dr. Sarah Buckley, it's really difficult hospital. We do it. We can do it. We can get there. When you have a doula and you have strong advocacy, I'm not definitely not to the level in which you would achieve that at home.

But yeah, I would say that that's the biggest thing is I we're, I labor the majority of my labors. I labor with my clients at home until, you know, transition and beyond. And then it probably the hardest part is going from. Safe and cozy and protected and private and undisturbed. And then we have to get in a car.

We have to drive down the road and then we have to like park in a parking lot. And then you're in the middle of the transition and you're like vomit and all these things that are just so natural and primal and, and everything just kind of shuts down. And so when a baby was like, just about to be born or now like, You know, your body says not safe, not private undisturbed, cortisol, adrenaline, you know, shut down, shut down, you know, threat is coming, you know, so I like to kind of look at birth from a mammalian perspective.

And so it makes sense to me as mammals, that we would open and surrender and unfold much more easily. And our, our cave, you know, in our nest, uh, than we would in someone else's. So, yeah. All right. So let's get all the way into the good stuff. Stuff for those listening. The number one question I get is like, okay, how did you know that you were in labor?

Like what did at the beginning of this, of the labor feel like, how did you experience that? And so just kinda tell me about that last week, the last couple of days, leading up to your labor, how you're feeling, and then how you knew you were in labor. Great. So guest date, as we said earlier was either the fifth or 6th of September, and then Maya was born on the 11th.

So we were just about 41 weeks and let's see, not week leading up, you know, I think we had midwifery appointments more frequently and more back-to-back I think weekly by that point. And I think last week and that we left, you know, My midwife was throwing out there, you know, not to create any sort of alarm or pressure, but you know, if after the next week I come back to my appointment and I'm still pregnant, you know, maybe we want to look at some natural induction and, you know, I kind of had that in the back of my mind.

And I was like, I don't know if I want to do that. Just like be stimulating my nipples all day and drinking Castro. That doesn't sound fun. So that was kind of looming a little bit and went and saw a chiropractor, which chiropractic care as a side note was a really great, uh, benefit to the pregnancy experience.

And we now all go as a family and chiropractor was helping with a little bit of trigger points and things like that that, you know, are said to have it, to help that process along. And I remember the last week just being in this, you know, it's that between stage as we've kind of recognized it now, like the male is very thin and you know, you're getting calls and texts, and you're wondering if every last thing you do is going to be the last time you do it by yourself, you know, without a human inside of you or without, you know, it being a family of three.

So is this the last shower is this last time I'm going to go to sleep and there isn't a baby here. You know, all of that is happening and it's. It's sweet and magical and, and also just kind of excruciating at the same time. And so, you know, I just, I have a lot of compassion for mamas in that stage because it can be all sorts of things, all sorts of emotions.

And I think we definitely went through that and we're taking advantage of the time. So we had a lot of dates that week. I think, I think we went and got lunch dates and tacos all the time. And we were sleeping in, we were making love. We were, you know, just really soaking up what we, the, the last of it. And the birth on a Sunday morning.

So I remember that Saturday, my belly, just feeling tighter than normal. And so I think those were some of the first signs that, you know, Things are changing. And so it was just this tightness. Like, it just felt like a rock. And we, that night we went to a concert together. It was actually Matthew's father's day.

His first technical father's day earlier in the year, it was a gift and it was a John Williams orchestra, John Williams music performed by the Atlanta orchestra. And so we went to that concert and I remember it was a very warm night in September. Sitting outside listening to this music. And when we left that concert on the way home, I remember starting to feel uncomfortable in a way I hadn't felt before.

And it wasn't necessarily, you know, going away after a few minutes. And just that, that tightness was, was there. I couldn't really sit comfortably in the car. And then when we got home, you know, it was time to go to sleep. I couldn't sleep. And so that to me was. Indicative of, you know, something's happening here and I didn't want to lay down.

I could not lay down and get comfortable. Cool. And so I went to the bathtub, so I hung out and I think this is really important. So you were almost 41 weeks and you went to a concert, like people need to hear that. No people need to hear that. Like if you're not in labor. Yeah. You're not in labor. Go to go.

I always say miss plans break up. If you have to. Yeah. Yeah. We avoided the mosh pit at a symphony orchestra. Yes, it was great. I love, I just love that. Like, but so many people would be afraid, right? Like, you know, so that's another part I think of like the home birth experience that is empowers you throughout all the things.

Including, like having the confidence to like, yeah, I'm just doing life. I'm going I'm 41 weeks or almost 41 weeks. And yeah, I'm going to this concert and yes, my belly is tightening and maybe something's happening, but I'm just going to see how this plays out. So like what a cool attitude that you guys had.

I'm so glad that you guys went now. Matthew, was she verbalizing to you? The things that she was feeling. I knew of the tight belly and excited been poking it as well. So I could tell that it was also tight and I was aware of where we were at with our guests date and everything. And so I'm sort of logging things in the back of my brain, like okay.

Type Ellie in the morning. Okay, cool. Um, it wasn't until after we left the concert where I could see Sarah was just uncomfortable. And so I had some initial thoughts when we were driving home and around 10:00 PM and, you know, they were. Pretty confirmed by the time we got home and Sarah wasn't going to sleep.

Cause Sarah loves her asleep. So like 11 o'clock we're at the house and she wants to take a bath. Um, so that was different. And by then I was, I was clued in like, okay, this is something might be happening. And uh, we'll just begin the ride. Is that around midnight? Yes. Close to that. So were you experiencing like a stop, a peak and a start or were you experiencing crampiness or were you just feeling weird?

I would say it was a dull, constant hum of whatever was going on. So I didn't get a lot of reprieve in the sense that there were times where I was like, Oh, okay, cool. And I could walk around and, you know, laugh and joke and talk and dance. Like there was none of that. It was just a very, okay, I'm going to go inward and I'm going to be with this because this is just kind of all encompassing in that sense.

Okay. Now we're going to take a short break to just share a few things with you. Thanks for listening to the birth story podcast. I am so excited to announce the launch of my book, birth story, a 42 week guide for your pregnancy, a collection of these birth stories, a ton of doula advice, and yeah, journaling prompts.

You can order a copy [email protected]. It also will mean the world. To me, it feels spread the word about this podcast. So on Stitcher or on iTunes, just leave a review. Thanks. So right from the very beginning, you felt the need to like take care of yourself with your own personal coping mechanisms.

Now, had you practiced, had you done childbirth education or done hypnobirthing or kind of Lamaze? Like, did you have a practice which you were looking to utilize or where you just letting your body lead? You. A combination. So we, I did the self guided hypno babies, which I really enjoy it. And I liked being able to do it on my own.

So I had listened to, you know, everything up until that point. We started the first couple hours playing some of the birthing affirmations on the birthing time audio. And then at a certain point, I just didn't want any sort of noise. So we turned it off, but that was there. So I had my breathing exercises.

I. I've been practicing meditation for a while before that and still do so that paired with other just lifestyle habits and choices were all kind of coming to the table for the experience. Okay. So your, your first thing that you were called to was the water? Yes. And I'm like hot water warm, like warm water.

Some people I get really hot. I generally, yeah, I generally like it. Yeah. Scalding, but I had been, you know, kind of training myself throughout pregnancy to not do that. So I was, it was a little bit less than where I would normally have it and you know where I am now, but, uh, but I would say warm. And then, you know, after a while, just kind of refuel it refilling to, to keep it.

Keep it warm. Okay. So I sort of have this vision you're in the tub. And at that point you said you had some birth affirmations going until you were like no more noise and you're just relaxing and there's this constant hum and sensations going on in your body and you're going inward into that labor zone.

And then how does it unfold from there? Like when did it take a term. Yeah. And I have to say throughout that whole time, when Matthew and I look back on that, that was such beautiful intimate time for the two of us, because that was before anyone arrived, you know, things started really changing once people arrived.

And that was just our time, you know, it was quiet. It was late at night. We're getting into now the early earliest hours of the morning. And it was just really beautiful. And he tended to me and brought me water, brought me some food and. It was, it was just amazing. So at some point I remember Matthew filling up the birthing tub because at this point I had been in our, just our guest bathroom bathtub, which is not very big or luxurious.

And so he now had the birthing tub ready and was filling it up. And so I transitioned into that and. Then we called our midwives. I want to say like around two or three is the first time we called them. And I remember I was, I was able to speak to her and she instructed Matthew to get back with her when they were.

What like five minutes apart, the contractions she's yelling roughly or five or something? Yeah. Okay. So then that didn't take too, too long. And then she was at our house by around five. I want to say. And so then over the next couple hours, and mind you, when I got into the birthing tub at this point, I didn't leave the birthing tub.

Save for one or two, you know, the bathroom breaks every once in a while I was in the birthing tub. 90% of the entire experience you're cracking me up right now because everyone just peas in their butt. So I love that you like, Oh, you're telling me you got out until I go to the bathroom. That's incredible.

Also, where did you get your birthing tub? Like where does one go about getting a birthing tub for their home? Yeah, we ordered it online through our midwives for great in that they had a all put together kit assembled through a company that, you know, had their brand or label on it. So we ordered that through them.

And then they also had the suggested, you know, products to add onto their, you know, bare minimum kit. And that's where we kind of found the birthing pool. And it's the one that you'll see in a lot of people's photos that has all the bright, colorful fishes on it. Yeah. It was like, it was a kid, it was a kid.

Pull it at target. Yeah. And it had, you know, bright colored fish all over it. So it wasn't like a, you know, uh, uh, industrial, yeah. Birthing tub, birthing tub. Right. Bottom was nice. Patty. Yeah, it was great. Yeah. And then did you get, could you get warm water in there into the, the way we were able to hook it up to our faucet?

Yeah. So that was great. Okay. Did it take a long I'm so many questions about this? Does that process Matthew, you were doing that? Did that take a long time? It didn't necessarily feel very long because I just turned it on and then went back to Sarah and I probably set, you know, like 10, 15 minute timers on my phone and just checked it until it was at an appropriate level.

But because we started. You know, early, it didn't, I didn't, it didn't feel like it took long. If Sarah was saying like, yo, get me in this birthing tub. And it was not yet filled. It probably would have felt like it took a long time. And we've heard stories from families where, you know, they started at the very last moment.

They started blowing up and filling it up. But, uh, I was, I was prepared, like, I think had been blown up for days and you know, it was just, it was ready to rock and roll. So I don't remember it feeling like it took a long time. Good job. Well, I also love that. Like, Sarah, you were like all the things that Matthew is doing to make your experience intimate, like bringing you things to drink and eat and like holding you like in those early hours.

And just being there with you so many. Partners are just don't know what to do. So I think just hearing some of those tips and tools are really helpful of the ways in which your partner can support you. And so, so. You know, the being able to support Sarah through her pressure waves as, as the time, you know, was rolling on that one thing that I think just it started well before the first contractions hit, you know, that was just what I was very intentional of doing when we got pregnant.

Um, just being there for her, because again, I, I sort of had this thing in my mind and that if Sarah's comfortable, it's just going to flow. You know, so what can I be doing to make Sarah feel comfortable? So if it's running to grab water, if it's, you know, massage, if it's getting certain music or turning off certain music, it fits, you know, turning on a diffuser or turning off the fuse or whatever it was.

I just felt my, one of my primary jobs was just to make you feel as comfortable as possible. And, um, yeah, I truly believe that, you know, Sarah in, in her element. Feeling tended to and feeling comfortable. That was just going to create all the, the best circumstances for a baby Maya to flow out as you know, effortless quote unquote, as, as possible.

So that was that's really what I saw my role being. Swoon Matthew, a million women just fell in love with you hearing you say that. I mean, because really awesome. Not, I mean, I've labored with hundreds of people and it's just not that intuitive for other partners. So to hear you say it, it's just. So beautiful.

And I really feel like if anyone's listening and their partners are struggling, just hit, rewind and have your partner listen to just those couple of minutes. Yeah. Because you know, the reality is I will not know at all what you're experiencing. You know, like I have no idea what it feels like to be, to go through that pregnancy, to feel your belly getting tight, and then add on top of that.

Any thoughts or fears that you have about the moment when you realize labor's begun and you realize, Oh my gosh, this baby's going to come out of me. I don't know what that's like. And so, you know, I felt that the very least I could do was just help you be comfortable through all of that, you know? And there are definitely moments that I just, I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what do you need or anything like that. And so I just tried to be there and, you know, Sarah and I are great at communicating what we want and I trusted that Sarah would ask for what she wanted. And then if I sent something, I would ask her, Hey, is there anything I can do for you? And, you know, that was a muscle that I definitely, you know, wrapped over the years and strengthened over the years.

Cause it wasn't always super intuitive for me, um, in relationships to be tuned in like that. And so I am grateful that I did work on that because when it came time for baby Maya to come, it was a little bit more second nature for me. And, um, I really do believe it had a tremendous impact on, on our birth.

And I'm assuming it has had a tremendous impact on your marriage also because that foundation of just that intuition and being able to like sense our partner's needs is really important post baby. So the more that you are practicing that through your marriage, your pregnancy, into your labor and delivery, you know, is going to make sure that, that these home birth.

Couples that your marriages are really, really strong. I would be very curious. Just hearing you guys talk. It just seems intuitive to me that home birth couples probably have a higher percentage of staying together. I don't know if that's founded in any data or not, but I just. Um, you know, a study to be done for another day.

So we'll Sarah back to you. So you're in the tub and then, and hearing your story. As a doula that works at a hospital, this is unfolding very quickly. And so I venture to say, it's unfolding very quickly because you don't have stress and adrenaline, like you're private, you're safe, you're loved, you're comforted.

And these are the things in which we know make labor go faster rather than. Stall or slow down. And so the fact that your midwife was there by five o'clock in the morning, really five. Maybe seven hours after your LIBOR began is a really fast unfolding of the birth process. So I have no idea when you're going to deliver here, but I'm just, you know, feeling that this is going by.

Pretty quickly. Now when your midwife arrived, um, in a home birth scenario, is there a vaginal exam or any exams or is it more like, they're just looking at how you're laboring to assess what stage of labor you're in and how soon the baby may be coming. In my experience, it was the second. And I believe I had the option, you know, if I wanted her to check me, but I think that she just really read the situation and saw where I was at and just allowed.

And, you know, we have heard in the multitude of stories that, you know, we have collected. Sometimes there are whether that's because of, you know, that's what mother would prefer. That's what midwife would prefer, you know, but I. Think the only time she checked me was right before we started pushing outside of that, there were, they use the Doppler a few times to listen to my as heartbeat and just some checking in with me, suggesting I use the restroom suggesting I drink suggesting I walk up and down the hallway.

But aside from that, I believe Debbie, our midwife really embodied that. Spirit that I had kind of heard of jokingly in the past about a midwife that the best thing they can do is sit in the corner and knit, you know, and that's kind of it yeah. In energy, how I experienced it in that sense, but, but I still felt her completely present and I felt very watched over.

And you know what you mentioned very loved for very cared. I love that you just said that too, about sitting in the corner and knitting, because one of the things I just can't speak enough, especially when people are interviewing me to be a doula or like the other midwives that I've talked to is that UN or even our partners like you Matthew, right?

Like our job isn't to say. Save Sarah, right. Sarah's body is going through a transformation that is natural and we need to allow it to happen. And we're there to assist as she needs us, you know, or to make suggestions or to just create that environment. But I think, you know, I just can't push the message out there enough that like, you know, hiring a doulas and going to.

Save you from the sensations, you know, or something that you may be fearing. That's hard work you have to work through before you go into labor is making sure that your Headspace is in a place to just surrender so that you welcome people to just sit in a corner and knit. And be there if you, if you need them.

So, Sarah, that speaks a lot about how prepared you were mentally for this moment that you found yourself in, right? That you could allow people to let you be undisturbed because you had already tapped into your own power and your own light. And you weren't asking anyone to come. How far along am I? How much work have I done?

How much work is needed to do that? You were just. Like really chill about it. So yeah, Sarah was very locked in. I'll say that like Sarah was very locked in. Um, she has been doing yoga fairly consistently for a while. You know, Sarah is very fit and breadth is a big part of where Sarah connects with their power when she's, you know, in the gym exercising and working out.

So she had been doing cardio and running and walking and all that. And so, you know, that, that, that ability to. Approach the comfort zone and then breathe your way through. True. It is something that Sarah really practiced in our daily life through exercise, and it's something that everybody has access to, to be able to, to practice using your breath, to calm yourself down, particularly as you get closer and closer to the edge of the comfort zone.

So. I experienced Sarah as just from the bathtub when it was just her and I to the birth pool. When the team arrived to that check before she started pushing to so locked in and relying on her breath, you know, masterfully to stay in the zone and just to, to stay in that sweet spot. And, um, it was really an amazing thing for me to watch.

Yeah, good work, Sarah. I'm proud of you. So cool. I wonder, I just, like, I got chills all over. I hope you're inspiring a lot of people this year. The stay listening to your story. So when things like really change for you, I think that one of the things is, is the first question is how do I know my I'm in labor?

And kind of once you realize you're in labor and you surrender to that, yeah. Then there is a shift. There is that transformation, that transition. Your inauguration into motherhood with this baby is coming and kind of, could you put, is it possible for you to put words onto how you experienced knowing, Oh, I'm not in labor anymore, now that baby's coming.

Oh, putting that in words now the baby's coming. I think at that point after being so. Like limbs out, surrender, you know, so to speak that, that sort of energy for so long once I knew that baby's arrival was eminent, that's when I felt like I could really take the reins of the process and have the experience.

And so I felt myself very active in bringing her forth. And so I looked at it as kind of, okay, you've been writing waves this, you know, up until this point now let's. Let's do this. And so I kind of felt, uh, you know, rub some dirt in it, dust myself off grit, tight kind of feeling as it relates to, you know, babies, babies going to come that's, that's where things kind of kicked into gear.

So to speak. I've had the privilege of witnessing this over and over again, but what you said, like just kind of getting that grit and putting your feet in the dirt. Like I, the way I experienced it and Matthew I'd love to hear what you said. I saw, but I see like an awakening where moms are like Lou loose and limp and limber and surrendered.

And then they just pop up with all this energy and vigor and open their eyes and are like roaring their power out. Then, you know, like it's the first time that they're like, no, and now I'm going to like fight back almost what's, you know, or engage in a different way to like bring forth. Um, this power to push the baby out.

So it sounds like you, it's hard to put into words. I know, but you did a beautiful job, but like you experienced that transition or that transformation, did you throw up? I sure did. Uh, yeah. And I just thought, Oh, this is, this is great. You know, that's what I have a little bit of humor to it. Cause I'm like, what else could possibly happen?

You know? And I hadn't eaten or at Sunday morning, I hadn't eaten since. Yeah earlier it's Saturday. And so it was really just like bile and it was, you know, uh, Maya Maya's, uh, elbow was kind of digging into my back. And so that was, it was all just happening at once. And I just, Oh yeah, I remember you locked in, you know, so, so Debbie said let's, let's check where you're at.

Did a check and then you were fully dilated. So then she said to me, yeah. So then she was like, okay, well, why don't we, why don't we move you to the birth stool? And then that's where, you know, you, you got up, we all helped you up, you moved over to the birth stool and then, you know, I actually sat behind you on the yoga ball.

And so I got to experience Sarah's power, not necessarily by seeing it, but by feeling. Yeah. Cause I was behind Sierra and I had my arms. You know, sort of all around her upper body, on her, her shoulders bracing. So she would push forward as she was pushing and I would pull back and I mean, you were just straight up, she honking.

And I remember my arms being so tired, like my biceps were on fire as I was, you know, countering Sarah's pushes. And, uh, it was, I will never forget that because I was like, dang, you are. Like you are tapping into some just primal strength, which was, which was amazing. And it's so cool. Like whenever I have moms that say they want to have a natural birth, I'm just like, yes.

You know, it is just, I mean, to allow your body, to show you what you're capable of and to just surrender. Ah, and I'll tell you what, um, Matthew, a lot of times as the birth partner too, I'm able to feel that too. And I love to trade places with their partner, cause I'm always like, okay, I'm feeling this and this is amazing, but this isn't my role or my.

Bass. And I'm like, you know, dad, or, you know, other mom Barton to come on over here and, uh, and feel the light love of your partner and like that strength. That's pretty amazing. So Sarah, to hear Matthew say that, like he saw that and felt that in you it's, it's pretty incredible. Isn't it? It definitely is.

Um, so did you feel that objection, reflex that natural urge to do that? Or was Debbie like, okay, you're complete. You should push. We practiced pushing a little bit. I remember practicing and not really getting the feel for it, for. Two or three pushes maybe. And then something just kind of connected. And I thought, Oh, okay.

All right. I know now, but at first it was very foreign. Okay. And then eventually it turns into, um, uncontrollable, right? Like we, we show our body what to do a little bit and then body takes over, you know, once again, how long do you push for it? 45 minutes. That is incredible. That is so, I mean, this is, I don't know what time is it also in the morning now?

So she was born at 10:43 AM. So there's your birth time? 40 3:00 AM. So I would, I would start your labor at 10:00 PM. When you were first having this first kind of signs. So 12 hours, that's about 50%. So I had all hospital birds last year. First time moms, my average length of labor was 22 and a half hours.

Hmm. Pretty interesting in that I would love to know the statistics of, you know, of another person. If they have, you know, any equals 50, what the, um, home birth trajectory is for that timeline. I'm pretty cool. So for me it feels like so fast for Debbie. She might be like, yeah, that's right about right for home birth.

I don't remember what she said. If she said anything, remember her sharing that 45 minutes was on as for pushing. That was certainly on the passenger side and that, you know, the birthing experience itself was, you know, about where they're at maybe a little bit faster. So maybe on that kind of percentile.

So everybody, if you want to have a quick, fast, amazing labor, do it at home. Okay. You have any tearing or anything that needed to be repaired. I did. So I tore a little bit and I was also experiencing it a little bit of, uh, uh, bleeding, a little bit of hemorrhaging. So which my midwife. So just to paint the scene for a second too, we had eight.

People in our team, in our tiny bedroom, plus the three of us. So 11 souls total in that little room, one midwife and two apprentices and then five, you know, mix of family and close friends who all served roles. And once my, I came out, my midwife, you know, very quickly. Realized I was bleeding more than, than average.

And so just with, and there's videos so I can watch it back. Cause my, my memory is a little blurry of it. It was very fixated on what, you know, had just experienced in my being on my chest. But I just heard her say very calmly yet. Super deliberately. Okay. Everyone needs to move. We need to get Sarah to the bed.

And that's what they did. I was still holding Maya Matthews behind me. They shuffled me to the bed and laid me down, shot me with some Pitocin in my, in my thigh. And that was the end of it. Now that's my experience of it, because like I said, I'm in the haze of just birthing a baby. It was a little bit different for me.

Yeah. So for me, Maya comes out. And I see the faces of the people who are, are looking, you know, down to watch my being born because I'm behind Sarah. So Sarah and I aren't seeing this. So I see all the faces and we hear like the eruption of, Oh my gosh. And you know, Maya comes out and then they, they bring my up.

And Sarah and I look at Miami and I started crying and then Sarah stands up and they move her to the bed and. Um, that's when Debbie said, okay, everybody needs to get out of the way when he gets there on the bed. And so when Sarah takes her first couple of steps, blood just hits the floor and it was, it was deep, dark blood.

And so, you know, I, I saw that and I sort of went into that and not, I wouldn't say emergency mode, but I went into that protector mode. So they laid Sarah down on the bed and Maya was on her chest. And then I. Just sort of leaned over Sarah's body and, and straddled her body. Um, you know, I put my arm on the other side of her and just was there with Sarah and Maya.

And, you know, I, I intentionally tried to, um, block Sarah's line of view so that she couldn't see what they were doing down there in the event. Something was legitimately, you know, there was an emergency. So I just was. You know, speaking sweetly to Sarah and Maya and, um, the three of us had our moment and, you know, in the back of my mind, um, um, I, I, I know that there's something going on and again, it was just getting into that, that mode of, okay.

There's something going on. So let's my job right now is just to keep everybody calm and, and, uh, you know, reassure Sara that everything's okay. And for us to just look at Maya for the first time, um, and then. Yeah, they got you with the Pitocin to stop the bleeding. Yep. And once that was all under control that I guess that's when they.

They noticed the tear and started working on the tear or so I bought the placenta and then, you know, all of that, but it was, it was great to be able to be stitched up from the comfort of my bed, you know, my lying on my chest. And so that that's there too. That's another, the honor roll mentioned to home birth, you know, you were saying, what are some of the best things are that we hear about the most is you don't have to go anywhere now.

Like you asked to get in a car either that day or the next day, and you can eat your own food and you can take a shower in your own shower. And so to do all of that from home was, was certainly a welcome thing. After the marathon we had all just completed. And I think it's a really important. To know that when you're birthing at home like this with a midwife, and there is a hemorrhage it's recognized immediately, they have the tools and the medications to treat it.

And they, and tools also being their hands like uterine massage to try to get the uterus to contract and slow the bleeding. I'm sure like. That we call it mashed potatoes, but, um, you know, I'm sure they were like pushing on your stomach to try to get that uterus to contract. And so what could have been wasn't because you were safe and you were protected and you were surrounded by trained professionals that have the tools to be able to take care of you.

So I just think there's a lot of misconceptions out there about home birth. And so it's really important to know that, you know, how trained, how. Rigorous the certifications and the trainings are to become a midwife and then the tools that they are able to carry, including medications and their bag. So, yeah, I want to speak on that real quick because I, I had no idea the amount of equipment.

That they brought with them until they showed up at our house. And I always tell it this way. Like if you've ever seen the movie, the matrix, there's a scene at the very end where Neo and Trinity walk into this office building and they go through the metal detectors and they're each carrying these black duffle bags.

I experienced our midwife and her apprentices come through the door. They rolled in there. Each of them had like one or two big black duffle bags and. Um, my eyes are big. Like, yo, what is all that? And they, they put it down on the floor and open the bags up and start assembling all the gear. And it was incredible.

They had so much stuff with them and you know, that, that had me feeling, you know, it was already, you know, of course, fully on board with home birth, really comfortable. But when I saw all this stuff that they had brought, I was like, wow. Okay. This is. This is different level. And that was something that I didn't, I didn't know, they had so many things like that until the day of the birth.

So, you know, for any families out there who are considering home birth and wondering like how prepared are these, these folks, like, they are very prepared to handle so many different things and yeah, it was, it was really great. It was, it was a cool thing to see them come through the door. And then right afterwards, Sarah, you're talking about like that now you're just out.

So did you do anything special with your placenta? We had it encapsulated. Okay. So I was taking the capsules for those first few weeks, um, postpartum and I found it very helpful. Oh, excellent. And then did someone encapsulate it in your home or did you, did they take your placenta and then bring it back to you?

She took it. So one of the apprentices was skilled in that. And so she took it and brought the capsules back from me. And apparently I had a very large placenta. She was very impressed with how many capsules it created. So they may, and they may have some gloves. And she also had, so my mother wasn't present for the birth.

My mother lives in Florida. And so she took part of the cord and made it into this beautiful little heart shape. And so I was able to give that to my mother as a, you know, sweet little momentos since she wasn't present for the birth. Oh, that's so sweet. And then had you named Maya before she was born? We did.

We had agreed on Maya. We knew she was a girl. That was something we very much, you know, we wanted, and we have established that next go around. Do we will wait and we will have it be a surprise, but, uh, but yes, we knew she was Maya. And so it was, we sang happy birthday to her, her and, Oh, you're so fry. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh, that makes me cry. Do I? That's so sweet. And then there is no, like when do I get out of the hospital and someone, you know, doing all these things every five minutes. So now you're just nursing and bonding. You can get up and take a bath or a shower and eat a meal and you just move on with your life.

Now, when you have a home birth, when do you take your child to the pediatrician for their first visit? Yeah, great question. We took her, I think it was, I want to say five days after she was born. Yeah. So we didn't feel a huge rush on it. Cause we knew everything. She was in great shape and all of that, but yeah, it was within the week.

I think that's really important. I just asked the question. Yeah. Because I know that the midwives are checking your baby out or making sure that your baby's doing okay. Just like they are at the hospital or at the birth center, then you just do just like you would normally, which is normally anyone that.

Had the baby, they recommend within that first week that you make that appointment after you are home or after you get home. So well, thank you guys so much for sharing your beautiful birth story of my, uh, and like there was so much education and empowerment and like, I'm really curious about this side business.

I mean, I don't, you guys have so many businesses, you must be so busy. Um, but does balance coaching. So tell us about, you know, I mentioned a little bit of how to get a hold of you on your website, but before we close, I wanted, I want to know all the things like tell us about the DIH podcast, but also about your coaching business.

If anyone's feeling called to reach out to you. And then like Instagram and Facebook, like what are the best ways that you want to connect with the audience that's listening today? Yeah, it does. That's great. And then thank you for that. So doing it at home, uh, we have, we have, yes, we have many buckets. We have lots of things that we're working on together where this podcasting and coaching.

Little empire over here and we love it. So doing it home, you know, it was going to continue rolling with sharing, empowering birth stories and resources, and you can catch us every week. There we are completing a book for doing it at home. So we'll be putting that out this year, which we're very excited about and you know, all of the ways to connect with us, mainly the website.

DIH podcasts.com and we're active on social DIH podcast, Instagram, and with ourselves personally, you know, we have our own podcasts and then our own coaching as well. And so I'll speak for myself. I work with mothers at any stage in the process, even from preconception to empty nest on really balancing that experience of motherhood with that of being a turned on woman.

And that is, is being turned on in all senses of the word with your life, with your relationships, with, you know, your, your purpose, your identity, those are some things that can get kind of knocked around a little bit. And. Of motherhood. So that's really what I focus on in my solo podcast, which is called balance and motherhood, which had to come right naturally a year after launching doing it at home.

Cause there's all these other things to share. So, so that's that. And then, you know, I do the coaching one on one with, with women and you can learn more about that on my website, Sarah bivins.com or connect with me on Instagram. Sarah M Bivins. And so where Sarah works with the moms, I work with the dads.

And so I do my balanced lifestyle coaching with fathers, with young families. And, uh, the men that I work with are really looking to increase their confidence, increase their sense of purpose and just their overall power, uh, in life in general. And, you know, fatherhood is just one of those areas that, uh, we get tested in all those different areas.

So I work with fathers and do one-on-one. Coaching with them. And it, it truly is amazing. I really believe that when fathers are showing up as Kings and they're able to be that rock for their family, uh, then you know, everything is uplifted. You know, mom or partner feels supported. Kids feel supported, uh, communities are uplifted and all that.

So it's really an honor to do the work that I do. And it's been, it's been fantastic. So I that's, that's my coaching work. And then I do have my podcast having it all and. Uh, you know, again, just like Sarah's podcast and doing it at home, it's available on all different platforms, uh, that show's been rocking and rolling for a while.

We're going to enter year four next month in March of 2020, that'll be four years of doing that show. Um, and what's cool about that. One is it's for everybody it's for men and women, uh, and it's just all about upping your personal power and creating your own abundant, loving life. And so my podcast and my coaching and all that stuff.

Uh, the information can be found on my website, which is Matthew bivins.com. You guys are so cool. You're so incredible. I'm like, yes, I want to be a turned on woman and I want to be married to a King. And so if anybody else is out there feeling the same way, I really hope that they're going to connect with you guys.

One last thing before you go is what is your favorite baby product? I'm going to go with the carriers. We had two options, a soft one, a wrap, uh, that was Boba. And then we had a firmer, you know, buckled up one from infant Tino, and it was just great to have, have a little babe attached, to touch to one of us at any given point in time.

I love it. Well, I'm going to link to those products in the show notes, and then I'm going to link to all of the things so that, you know, if anyone's driving right now and they're like, I just, I have to know these people, you know, just go to my show notes and I'll link to everything. So thank you for listening to episode 43 and we'll see you next week.

Thank you for listening to birth story, Michael, if you will walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want, no matter what that looks like.