6 MLM LGBTQ Birth Story: Two Dads Adopting Through Private Adoption & Their Cross-Country Journey To Meet Their Son

Johnathon and Blair share with Heidi their beautiful love story that spans over 17 years and two different adoption processes. These two dads begin their tale walking Heidi through the private adoption process, the deep connection they fostered on the spot with their first son’s birth mother, and the process of adopting out of the foster care system. If private adoption is something you have been considering this episode is a must-listen for you. The dads' favorite baby products are Dr. Browns Bottles, clip-on high chairs, and the book The Happiest Baby on the Block.

Looking for a Virtual Doula to create a custom birthing experience and guide you through your journey to parenthood in the United States? Contact Heidi at www.mydoulaheidi.com

For additional free birth education resources and to purchase Heidi’s book, Birth Story: Pregnancy Guidebook + Journal, visit www.birthstory.com.

Want to share your thoughts on the episode? Leave a review and send a message directly to Heidi on Instagram.

TRANSCRIPTION

What does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what does the day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi Campbell, a certified birth doula host of this podcast, birth story and owner of my doula, Heidi. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries.

And I believe that every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a stage. So here we are listen each week to get answers to these tough questions and more birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories, share our feelings. And of course chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood.

And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes, you will hear from some of the top experts in labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant, I hope you will stick around and be part of this trial episode six. I promised when I started this podcast that I was going to interview.

All the ways in which you could become parents. So today I have two dads job on it then in Blair and their adoption journey. And it's so cool because they got to be in the delivery room when their son was born. So this is a big shout out to everyone out there who has adoption in their heart or as part of their story.

And I hope you enjoy. Okay, so I'm just going to get us started. So Jonathan and Blair, thank you so much for letting me interview you guys today. And, um, as we were like, getting ready for this, I got a text message from Jonathan that was like, Hey, we were just leaving an adoption meeting. And um, now we're headed to dinner.

And so can we, can we start there because I'm curious, so definitely. Yeah. Let's start with what's happening now. Cause I just tell, tell everybody who you are and what's happening now. Hey everybody. I'm Jonathan and I'm Blair. We've been married for see if you can get this right. Oh boy. We've been together for 16 years, almost 17, almost 17.

And we have, we adopted two kids. Um, and we're in the process of adopting third, Jonathan. That's true. Um, We are in the process of adopting a third crazy, challenging, a little different route. We're looking through, uh, we're going through homeless little wonders here in new England, which they basically work with the department of social services.

So it will not be an infant which brings its own set of challenges, but we're really excited to take on that adventure. The last two adoptions were private adoptions. Uh, our first adoption went through an agency and it was, um, We, we kinda, it was a much more of a process in that sense. And then our second adoption was mostly private in the sense that, you know, we had a lawyer involved in it.

Um, But they're both open adoptions, so I don't want people to think they're private options and that they're closed. Oh no, we're all over. We're very open. And so now we're going through the process again, like John was saying, and, um, we're much more look, it's almost a foster to adopt situation, but these are kids who their goal is.

They want to be adopted eventually. We like kids. I mean, I always joke with Blair. If I could get him pregnant, we'd have like 18. I love this. Okay. So I have so many questions. I'm so curious about adoption, and that's why I'm talking to you guys today. But, um, when you're going through like the system that you're going through, do you get to say, like, I am only interested in having a little boy or a little girl or sibling funny that you asked that stuff today.

We went to a meeting what's called like a, a. It's kind of like your one sheet, if you will. It's like, cause the department of social services, they have tons of kids. Right. And it's in, I kind of feel bad saying like, Oh no, I don't want a child with that type, maybe condition or that type of challenges. But however, I think it's really important to know, especially when you already have kids in your home to know your limitations on what you can and cannot do.

Right. We, we know our lifestyle, we know our work schedules, which are both crazy. Me being a paramedic and blurbing and TV news, anchor. We're all over the place. Um, And we kind of like it that way, but, um, You know, I think it's important to know. So we did go through that today and, you know, do you want to, boy, do you want to grow?

We are open to both a boy and a girl, and we're also really open to sibling groups. And I actually kind of hope that, uh, I mean, we don't want to go as far as the Brady bunch, but pretty close. We're getting there. I'm not driving the van. So you may go from two kids to six kids very quickly.

No, I think like up to potentially three with a sibling group. So I think five would be, Oh, five kids. I don't know. I don't know about that. Maybe two or three. Yeah. I mean, the social worker, you know, said, uh, what were you guys be able to? Jonathan said, initially he goes three, three, and she's, she basically had to correct.

Say, you know, that's a lot more than what we probably can handle, um, right away. And so we, we accept that and that honesty and honest conversations and, um, yeah, one or maybe two. And we'll see, when you adopt a child from. The services, there's always some kind of trauma and involved. And with most kids with adoption, there's always going to be some type of trauma involved where there is, and there.

So it's important to make sure that you can meet the needs of that child or children. Um, so Kate plus eight, Jonathan and Blair. Yeah. It's going to happen, but I mean, Could I could be like the very first to interview you guys before you, you have your own TV show, you know, about this whole thing. I love this now.

I really like love your hearts. And so if you, if they just called you like tomorrow and we're like, we have three siblings, do you have to buy a new house? No, no. Okay. I was thinking, where would I put all of these children? If that happened? I would be like, you sleep on the floor. So when we lived in the city, we weren't like the peace and quiet of like.

Lake Norman and Cornelius and kind of, we loved it there. I miss it all the time, but we, uh, we wanted to challenge is what we normally like. And we moved to the middle of Boston and we downsize to a little over a thousand square feet. We just thought, I just say, I just thought all of her stuff, it fit. And after like climbing over chairs and bookshelves, just to get down the hallway, we didn't know what to do.

So we just started sitting some stuff out on the curb and people really liked it because there is sly and just, it. And I would sit up all night just watching the people grab it. Cause I was like fascinated. Um, that's also a whole nother TV show on other podcasts, but I'm really here in the city. That's, I'm really pissed that we got rid of our white leather chair that I really liked because now we have a house that we could fit that weight, leather chair, not the perfect spot for it, but we don't have it.

Yeah. And new kids, so, well, I I'm really just thinking about you guys. So I hope. For, I hope it goes quickly and I hope it's the right. You know, it will be the right perfect fit. But credible, you appreciate that. When we said that today, you know, we said it's, uh, you know what, there's a, there is a plan for us and there's a plan for, um, our child.

Yeah. We very much believe God's already got it figured out. Right. Like, so like, we don't really worry. Like if it happens today, if it happens next year, like whatever, it's fine. Like, uh, you know, like. We don't believe it was by accident that we're dads to Zeke and cash. Um, we believe that was well predetermined and you know, those kids, it's weird, kind of like a glove under our family, or we fit into their family.

I'm not sure which one, but, uh, it's uh, it's perfect. Well, that brings me to, um, like, let's start with Zeke's adoption because. I feel like it, that kind of went fast for you guys, like a lot faster than you expected it to go. And so, so before you dive into, I just want to back up and will you just share, like, w when did you decide, like we're going to adopt and we want to, um, we want to have a family, like, when did that moment happen for you guys?

Well, I think it kind of evolved for us. I mean, Jonathan, all along knew he wanted kids. And I always said, I don't really know what that looks like for us. And I was always the one holding us back in the sense of, I don't know how. Two men do this and do it successfully. One who's on television. And I didn't, I didn't know how to do that.

And I was very naive in my thinking. And so Jonathan was always nudging. It lets, you know, we can do this, we can do this, you know? Yes we can. And I don't think he ever, or, you know, thought otherwise. And so, um, for me it's pretty vivid and um, You know, we had gotten to a point right before 2012 and, um, we knew we wanted to, and, um, we were on a cruise with my family and, um, we were walking to dinner and John says, well, we're going to, we're going to tell your family tonight that we're going to adopt.

And I was nervous, kinda, you know, say the words, you know, uh, publicly or just, you know, out, out loud. And, uh, we sat down at dinner and we share it with everybody and. Um, that was Christmas time in December of 2011. And, uh, Zeke was born July 8th of 2012. I think we, and a lot happened. That's how quick it happened to our community and watershed.

We had a lot of people like, especially Billy and Tracy that were so. Super powerful and like directing us on, like, how do I adopt and what to expect. We were like, we didn't know the legal ramifications of it. Like I just don't take no for an answer. So I knew we were going to adopt a new, we were going to get married and then we're going to have a kids.

Cause that's what we want it. And we absolutely can have that. And so, but I just didn't know what that looked like. Legally logistically kind of thing. And they were very paramount and, you know, like in that and connected us with a lady in Charlotte, that was great. And we walked in and we sit in her office, something like we were ready to X wait, like two or three years and she kind of laughed and she's like, yeah, based on your answers, like, all you got, as I've said is that you will take any race.

You will take any sex in any reversible medical conditions that we are aware of, of course, with any child, you don't know what, how they're going to be born. Um, but at the time we were open to any reversible medical conditions. And now if a little knowledge we made would, you know, we've kind of changed that a little bit too, but, uh, anyway, So she's, she kind of laughed and she's like, Oh, we can have your baby in three months and everything like that.

And that's, I never believe that he's was still thinking about it. Now, when you talk about it, I, we, uh, we kind of moved kind of slowly. I'm kind of a. Okay. Let's do this right now. And Blair's like, okay, this is how we're going to do this. And he kind of does the heavy lifting I'm the dreamer and you kind of figure it out.

But, uh, yeah, I mean, we kind of started the process and had a few meetings in the first few cases. Right. We got, we said no to, um, it just didn't feel right. Blair was covering the. Both the Republican and democratic national convention, some of the biggest things in his career. And I had got a job promotion in Charlotte as a education paramedic.

I'm part of the education team. And it just didn't feel right at the time they kept giving us cases, but it didn't feel right. Um, although we had moved the dogs out of what was the nursery cause their dogs had their own bedroom and we, we did paint the walls and. Some random neighbors gave us diapers that I put in the attic.

And that was that. And they just kind of sit there then all of a sudden, June 26, uh, we got a phone. We had met with our adoption person that does our home study in Charlotte for like the second round. And she's like, everyone wants to move really quickly with you guys. It seems like you guys are kind of slowing us down a little bit and like yeah.

You know, like whenever. And she's like what I have this case. And I just feel like that you guys should look at it and our situation. And we did. I remember looking at it at work without you. And I and said, let's meet for lunch. And we met at the bagel place on exit 23 in Huntersville. And we both were like looking through it and we both started.

To have this mixed up. It's okay. I was gonna let you kind of roll with it, but

I love this because this is like pure Parenthood right here where you can't remember which child, like what day and what times. Yes. I love this. Keep going three days there that, um, really jelled and where the life moves so quickly and that we decided this in three days and from start to finish. And so it does kind of run together, but we were actually at dinner that night, Jonathan had, you had looked at the profile that day and you said, you need to look at this profile.

And I said, yeah. Okay. Let's look at tonight. We, we met for dinner after work, uh, with a family that they had, um, Gone the route of surrogacy and some same sex. Couple, I had gone throughout the surgery. And so we had dinner with them coming back, Jonathan now back to, so it did it with them. And so we were actually considering a surrogacy at that for maybe five seconds.

And we had dinner with them when we left. They're like, wow, that was a lot. And we got home that night and he said, you know, look at this profile. And I remember lying in bed. And I was just reading through it and there was a sonogram picture in there of, um, what was Zeke. And I don't know if it was that or what, but you know, it, it definitely spoke to me.

And I said to Jonathan, I said, there's really no reason why we should not be pursue this. We both started crying, like looking at the profile and we're like, This is our child. We knew from the moment we opened that out, that that was supposed to be. And so the next morning we let our agency know, look, we're really interested, but also at the same time, when you're going through a private adoption route, you have to be prepared to have the money upfront.

And it's very expensive. You're talking tens of thousands of dollars. And, um, we honestly weren't at that moment, we were not ready to pull the trigger and send 30, 40, $50,000 across the country. We just weren't. And, um, And so they said, yeah, we were just, you know, concerned about it. So that next morning, cause you guys right there, because myself included.

And I think some people that are listening that are interested in adoption, this might be surprising to some people that a private adoption is that expensive. So can you just dig in a little bit on where that money goes? Well, um, I don't know if we're totally best suited to answer that because it can go a lot of different ways.

Um, you know, the legal fees, legal fees, and we worked with three different agencies, I think in the process of no more than that. We, we had our agency in Charlotte. The birth mother had an agency in California, I'm sorry. In Seattle, Washington XE kind of agency that represented him in California. And then the overall adoption agency was also in California.

So she had four agencies. So legally there's a lot involved in, there are some issues legally, um, that we may have to address. So Zeke's was a little more of an expensive adoption than what a normal adoption would. A typical adoption is like 35,000 and someone looks at it like, ah, how can we come that money?

And, you know, one of her friends said, cause we, we didn't have it all right away. And one of her friends, like, don't let finances be in the way of you becoming parents. If you think this is right. And he was exactly right. Like, you're amazing that people that kinda come through like right away that are like, we can help.

What do you need? You know, uh, Blair went to. A local bank and Cornelius, and he kind of told them her story and like, we'll do whatever you need, you know, um, to make this happen kind of thing. There, there are ways you can raise money, you know, if you need to, we didn't have that kind of time. Um, or we didn't have time to move a lot of money around.

We needed that money 24 hours. So what I was going to pick up the story is that next morning we said, yes, we're interested. And they said, okay, we'll um, we will put you in the mix, uh, for this birth mom to consider you all. And we knew it was a, between us and two other couples or two other families. And, um, But the caveat with that to be looked at, you have to then wire the money within about 24 hours and we weren't there.

And so we pulled together a couple of different things. Sources, you know, my family was pretty helpful, but, um, You know, then we, we pulled the trigger on that and we had everything, um, sent and we, um, then waited. Yeah. And we didn't know what was going to happen. And that story about you in the bank, I'll never forget, you know, sitting in the Wells Fargo and, uh, North Carolina and I'm sitting down and telling them I needed to do wire, um, X amount of money, uh, you know, And we're talking tens of thousands of dollars yeah.

Across the country. And, and I had, we had no guarantees of where it's going, you know? And, um, I remember sitting there talking to the banker and she goes, what's this for? And I told her what it was for, and I just burst out in tears and she said, Oh, it's going to be okay. So, no, I'm not. I'm worried about, it's not the money I'm worried about it's this is knowing that, you know, we're taking a step toward our dream and it's, this is a reality, whether it's this, this situation or not.

And it was just a really emotional thing at that moment. Cause I know we had spent the last 24 hours trying to figure out what are we gonna do? How are we gonna do this? And what do we do? Well, I mean, there were days that it seemed almost impossible to ever be parents or seemed like it was such a farfetched dream and not looking with two kids and potentially three, you know, like everyone goes through that and I think.

People would probably go through that if they struggle with a pregnancy, but it's, it's the same, right. You've got to persevere and you've got to believe in it and you know, you want it bad enough. Well, and I remember driving from the bank. This is where Jonathan was talking about lunch. We had lunch that day and at the bagel shop and I had driven from the bank to go meet him at this lunch place.

And I was. Praying like crazy on the ride there. And, and I saw him to start crying. We both started crying and I said, if this is our situation, if this is our son, if this is meant to be, um, there's no reason why. And we went in it very clear, right? Like we were in a weird way. We didn't want our adoption to fail, but if it was, we were okay with that.

And here's why some people were like, well, why would you say that? But we would always want to make sure that the birth. Parents, especially the birth mother was felt 100% comfortable in the decisions she made.

Yeah. So as you guys are talking, it's just, um, my stomach is just like turning over because it, the parallels between, um, the clients that I work with that conceive naturally, and then the couples that I work with that adopt, and then the couples that I work with, um, that have done like IUI and IVF, like that moment in the bank, Blair.

Like that is every parent. That desires to have a child. Like it has that moment. Like, even if it, he, I obviated and we had sex tonight and like, I hope that maybe this would result in a baby, like that moment where you're like, Oh, we didn't use protection and Oh, I'm obviating, you know? Or like that moment where you go in for IVF or IUI and it's implantation day, and you're just waiting then.

For a week, two weeks, like M M I pregnant, you know? And so, um, I just wanted to like honor that for a minute, because no matter what route we take to become parents, there are just so many parallels and that's a huge one like that waiting period when you're yearning for something and you've Macon made a decision to run towards it, man.

It just, it feels right. The same, no matter what the story is. So yeah, that's, that's really interesting cause they haven't thought about it from that perspective, you know? Um, and I, I know that, um, I forget what day of the week that was. Um, but then we knew Zeke was born within two weeks. So we knew a decision would have to be made fairly quickly.

And so I knew whatever we got to the weekend and probably three days had passed at this point where we had. You know, we've, we've committed everything at this point. We're now we're just waiting for someone to start it. Yes. We were barely talking to each other. Well, Jonathan, it's a little uptight when he doesn't have the situation completely under control.

So this was completely out of his control and my control. But, um, we had gotten to the weekend and he really had talked himself into just not feeling what I really believed. And, um, so. He decides I'm going to urgent care. I got to go get, you know, some for whatever this is I'm tying right now, because this is like, every dad ever is like right at the end of pregnancy, especially, or like, you know, rape before the baby comes.

Like, you know, I'm sorry, dads kind of fall apart. And so, okay. You're at urgent care, right? WB 40, like spraying the locks on the doors. And I was, I don't know why I did this. Remember I went and got a load of mods because I thought it was going to be the last time we ever had a nice looking like flower bed in her yard.

And so I'm out there like getting mod all day, Saturdays spraying stuff, holding doors, and we're running around like crazy trying to get stuff done. And then all of a sudden, like I'm sick. I have, we haven't heard from her that said, I'm sick. I'm going, I got to go to the doctor. So, Oh. He goes to the doctor and he's gone for a while.

And this is probably the first time, you know, we're kind of away from each other while we were just waiting to hear something. And, um, and so I'm by myself and the agency calls from out in Seattle. And, um, you know, was it, the agency was called a child's dream in date. W we hit it off with them. Great. But this was like, I think the first time we had.

We kept bugging them and they're like, we'll call you when we know something, you know? And I'm like, gosh, we don't want to call it too much and all that stuff. So anyway, so they call me very much. So I was like, cause you're just waiting for what the birth mom to make a decision. Yeah. We knew the birth mom was looking at us and two other families.

And so we were like, Oh man, we really want this. And you know, we, we were, we were 200% in and. I think we would have been devastated if it didn't work out. And, um, and I think Jonathan, honestly, it was starting to talk himself into going down that dark road of like this isn't gonna work out. So anyway, he's at urgent care and they call me and they say, well, where's Jonathan.

We want to get you guys both on the phone. I'm like, Uh, and I didn't want to say he's a sick or what I was like, uh, he's out running some errands and, uh, they're like, well, we need to talk to both of you. I'm like, well, what is it? What is it? And they, um, they go, well, she's picked you. And I'm like, I'm jumping up and down in our living room by myself.

I'm getting my urgent care. And I tell me it was negative.

they said, well, um, we we'd like to, you know, set up a call with you and, and the birth mom, and we're like, I'm like, Oh, okay, okay. I need to get in touch with Jonathan and I'll call you back. And, um, so that I get off the phone with them and I'm trying to get Jonathan. I can't get him. I just cannot get them.

I can, I get them. And this goes on and on and on. Yeah, I think, Oh, I did. I called urgent care and I said, where's John. They said, well, he just left and I can't get him. I can't get him. Once I'm standing out in the garage, I had to stop by CVS and get some ginger rail and he pulls up and he gets out of the car and he's like, so depressed.

He's like, yeah. Well it's home. I'm like, I don't care what you have to say. She picked us and he just felt it was knees and we just cried and laughed and got so excited. I felt better instantly felt better instantly and not set. So it's kind of symbolic because I always joke too, when people are like going through like, um, A pregnancy there.

A lot of times the dads, like, you know, they gain the pregnancy weight too, and they suddenly have nausea. And like, you know, so you only had a two week window and I just, I just want to say you had to go through it. So you were, you are right there, you know, I'm so thankful we did cause now, you know, I talked to, we talked to friends who were nine months pregnant and they had three types of baby wrap warmers or whatever.

We didn't have a damn crib when we get gone out there. And our, our best friend had bought us a crab. You know, the church community came on and dropped bags of clothes off. We didn't have anything, you know, and yeah. So when got mom like got us a crib and she, like, we didn't even know what kind she was picking hours.

Like, just do it. It's fine. Right? No time for a baby shower at all. I mean, this is like, she's. What, 38 weeks pregnant when she chooses him, she was 38 weeks. Yep. That's right. Wow. Oh, okay. So what happens next? Cause I remember getting on the phone with you guys. This is probably two weeks later. So just walk me through those last two weeks.

I'm curious, we're on the phone with you, right? You what? I think w I think we, we talked to her were in the airport on the way out to California. So the next two weeks, we're just like running around, getting stuff done. Right? We. Now I have a nursery instead of a dog's bedroom and we did paint it. Um, and your parents came up and really symbolic.

They gave Blair the same bassinet kind of crib that he was raised in. Um, so that was really fun. We put that in our bedroom and then. I mean, it was really just kind of getting life in order. And, and we knew that, um, Zeke was born in California. And so we were really trying to get things in order so we could pull the trigger when she called, because we knew that she wanted us to be there.

She was great. She was updating us like how she was feeling every day. Um, and you know, we wanted to make sure that she was comfortable and prepared to go to the hospital. So we sent some like a robe and a care package because. We knew that we wouldn't be there. Right. And she wanted us to kind of be one in this, which we're so grateful for her.

Um, but, but it was really a better, yeah. We're just trying to get everything in order. So, so we'd be able to book flights instantly. So we'd be able to have someone come take care of the dog, someone coming to do just the stuff that we didn't know, how long we'd be gone, you know, once this happened, you know?

And so it was trying to be prepared. So, you know, just to have a hotel lined up just in case, and I remember constantly checking flights, like. Okay. What would be the best time of day for this to happen, to fly out to LA if we need to book a flight? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's either going to be thousands of dollars.

It's going to be $400, you know? And so I knew, and so we had a, we had our bags packed and we had set them aside. And so we had a whole plan put together for when this happened and we knew exactly what was going to happen. We rehearsed it a little bit. We had someone who was going to take us to the airport.

We had it all. Planned out cause we were ready to go. And, um, and we talked to her the day before and she said she most likely she wouldn't be induced the following week, um, being her first pregnancy and, you know, she had some back pain, but other than that, she was really doing great. And. Um, so we were confident that day we went out on our boat with friends on Lake Norman.

Right. So we're out on the, you want me to tell that part of the story and I'll pick up from the suit we're out on the boat and we're just like, okay, this is like our last time without parents, like, this is crazy. This is fun and where we're having drinks and we're enjoying a lunch. Uh, and then all of a sudden my phone rings and it.

It's Brianne's mom and she never really called us as we always kinda arranged it and we would call her. Right. So we knew that. When she called us, it was something because your heart starts pumping and she's like, hi. And she just being amazing that she is, she is I'm in labor and I'm going to be hidden to the hospital soon.

And like, I walked away from the table because we were with a group of friends and like, I can't even get the words out when I'm back. And I'm like, we gotta go right now. And that was the fastest boat ride back to your house that we've probably ever had then. So we got back to the house and we. On the way back, we're like, okay, you're going to go into the bedroom and you're gonna get stuff in order.

And I'm going to get on the computer and we're going to book these flights and get out there as soon as we can. And we're going to call them our friend, Robin, who was going to pick us up and take us to the airport. And so we get back to the house, I'm sitting down, you know, looking for the flights, trying to book the next flight.

And as I said, okay, our flights in two hours, To lax. And we got to be at the airport in an hour and didn't no time Robin and Mark show up the person that's taking care of her dog show up. The neighbor comes over to make sure what they need, like everyone was falling into place. And then except Jonathan, if he wasn't falling into destructor eight back,

he comes running around the corner. He says, What are we going to do? We, well, how are we going to do is my hair's not ready? I, how am I going to do this? What we're going to do is flipping out was in a tank top, like swim trunks. And I was sweaty and nasty. We didn't, I didn't even have time to shower. And then all of a sudden I kept thinking is this is a first impression that she is basing us off.

Looks alone. Oh my God, what am I going to wear? What am I going to put on? I'm going to meet her at midnight after going. Uh, eight hour flight to LA and I literally can remember just grabbing clothes off the hanger and shoving them into my, over, already over 50 pounds. So was there anything for the baby in the suitcase or is it just clothes?

No. Well, yeah, we had, we did. Yeah, we did. We had it. We had a separate suitcase for just the baby admin.

And so we got to LA, I don't know what we called Heidi when we were at the airport waiting for a flight because there was a layover in Atlanta. Um, and I don't know. I remember the flight was going to take off at 10 39 and I'm, I was just like, Can you help prepare us for this, right? Like what do we need to do?

And things like that. And you were great. You talked a lot about coaching, breathing, like being supportive, a lot of like emotional contact, as well as like holding your hand, if that's what she needed to the seat. Makes sure she has like a quarter rag. If that's what she needs. A lot of breathing techniques, you know, um, w which was really helpful.

And it kind of put me at ease a little bit of like, okay, I think we can do this. To dad doulas. I love it. And, um, I just want to interject right there because Jonathan, you guys, I think I talked to Jonathan on the phone, right? Yeah. So you may not even remember this, but my takeaway from that conversation is I just remember thinking.

Oh, Lord God, please let her have a vaginal birth because the volunteer work that I had done with some of the crisis teen pregnancy centers here, the number one goal for moms that were choosing life and, um, you know, kind of being a vessel to Parenthood for, um, the adopting parents is. To not have that scar forever.

Um, and along in a long healing process. Yeah. So I just couldn't I remember thinking, getting off the phone with you, and I think I had said, you know, tried to give you a couple things to try to help her avoid a Csection, but, um, but it is of the utmost importance to try, um, to have a vaginal birth when you are, if at all possible when a mom is, um, Passing their child over to, um, the parents.

So it's a hard recovery for a Csection and then a lifetime scar. So I just remember saying a little prayer, um, for Zeke's mom. And, um, and then you got on that plane from Atlanta to LA. And so then what happened when he landed or actually, no. Tell me about the airplane. Right? Well, um, I had been wanting to read a book best baby on the block.

And I had my own freak out moment. I think once I got on the play, like he spin written out. Yeah. I read the book on the plane ride. Cause I was flipping out on how do you take it care of a baby. I was taking pictures and trying to document it all and telling anyone that would listen to that plane that we were, yes.

He was telling everyone we're going to be dads. We're going to get a baby. You know what I mean? And. And I still had my swim trunks. I'm reading this book about the five S's of how you handle an infant, the shushing and the wow. All that stuff. Literally, at one point he looks at me, he goes, Jonathan, practice with me.

What are the five S's it's swaddling swishing. It's soothing. And I go, Blair, can you just stop whereabouts to be dads? No, I am. I am a big supporter of that book and I believe it's, you know, I tell anybody it saved our, um, it just, it was amazing for us as far as how to take care of a baby. And we used it with both seek and cash, and I tell everybody who listens to the best.

Okay. Awesome. So say the name of it again, and I'll put it in the show notes. Best baby. On the block. Best baby on the block. Okay. Now we're going to take a short break to just share a few things with you and we'll be right back with our guests. I am so excited to tell you about my first book that I wrote that is launching this summer.

It's a 42 week guide to your pregnancy. It's a collection of birth stories. It has a ton of doula advice from all of the questions that my clients have asked me over the last 14 years. It has hysterical partner tips that you will want to read to your partner. And it has journaling prompts because nobody has time to write a 20 pages in their journal about their pregnancy.

So I've taken the Liberty to give you some prompts of things that I think you might want to remember back on after the baby's born. So again, you can go to birth story.com and preorder a copy today, and it would mean the world to me. And so we get to lax and we land. And there's a voicemail and Johnathan's phone.

And the voicemail says that, um, she was sent home because, uh, she, yeah, she was in labor, but she wasn't close to having the baby. So if you guys haven't got on the plane yet, you can stay home and take your time and we'll be in touch in a few days. And we're like, Oh wow. We like LA like Santa Monica.

This'll be good. So extended that I could sleep in that I didn't smell like Lake water. And so. We got a rental car and we Googled how far in between lax and Bakersfield sitting at lax in the parking garage of the rental car. And we're like, Johnny goes, where are we going to go to them? And we're trying to figure out where we can use some points for hotel.

Cause we're probably gonna be stuck in LA for about three weeks. Well, I kinda got excited at that. I was like, do you want to go to Santa Monica? And he's like, no, it's almost 1:00 AM. Like, we need to find a hotel. So we said, okay, we're just going to go stay at this whatever hotel though. Marriott, whatever.

Um, I mean by six flags and so we go there and it's probably like three, eight, 4:00 AM, whatever. And, and so we just go get some sleep and about 7:00 AM, we'd probably all were sleeping two hours at 7:00 AM. Our phone rings again. And it's her. And she says that she's throwing labor and that if that continues to happen through the day, she would go to the hospital.

Um, however, she would really like to meet us and have dinner with us and kind of start our family together, you know, because we've always been, we were very open and we always looked at it as one family versus adopted. In birth family, like, no, we're just family. Like, can we just be family? Can we just be one and have Zeke or children's whether that's Z cash or any child, their best interests in mind.

So we said, yeah, that'd be great. Um, but. We were kind of excited. Cause once we heard from her again, we felt reassured everything was okay. Okay. And we went back to sleep. And then I remember we had like this amazing hotel breakfast and um, we got ready and we were kind of heading there to have dinner with her.

And she called and said that her water had broke. Um, and she was headed to the hospital. And so all the way from. That area it's a, Bakersfield was probably about an hour to two hours Blair and I rehearsed like, wow, we're literally going to meet her and her family and she's going to be on labor. Like. You know, and Blair had never witnessed labor nor did he ever seen it.

And I was like, she may be very vocal. She, you know, and she may be frustrated. She may be happy. She may be sad and you don't know what emotions that's going to bring. Yeah. And so, but this is how we're gonna respond, and this is how we're going to be, because she's really like meeting us right away. Um, and so.

We get there and we got there and she wasn't there yet. She actually beat her to the hospital, beat her to the hospital, high five. So the really kind nurse said, I'm going to be her nurse. Uh, we understand that she's coming and why don't you guys go get your car seat at babies R us. And so that we did, and we came back and.

We definitely could tell there was more activity in the triaging. Right. We have labor and delivery and they go, Oh, okay. We're just checking your now to make sure everything's good. And she's here and the nurse comes back and says, we're having a baby today. So I was like, Oh, I gotta go get the camera. I got to get all the paperwork.

I got to get the diaper bag. And so he goes up to the rental car and I'm like standing there and I can hear her in the lobby. Um, I obviously she's in pain and she's having contractions and the doors open and they push her right by and I'm like, Hey, Hey, I'm Jonathan. And then her mom like hugs me and she's like, Oh my God, your family, it's Zeke's dad.

And like, there's this grace and we're tearing up and there's no Blair he's in the car. And so off we go and they get ready for the epidural. And all I can think about is. This is great, but where is Blair? Blair's nowhere to be found. He's going to kill me. We practiced all this. And of course, like, I couldn't just let her walk by.

Like, I basically want to jump on the stretcher with her and be like, Hey, it's me. This is the person you picked to raise your son. So now, and she was, I mean, her water was broken she's you could hear her. So she was deep in labor, like ready for the epidural. Ready for the epidural. Yep. That's right. Yeah.

So, um, anyway, once she got the epidural, she was very calm, very mellow, uh, and just really wanted to hang out and watch TV and learn about us. Like she was more worried about what we needed and we're like, no, no, no. It's like, that's her personality, very loving, very, you know, just that's her in general.

Like very making sure everyone else is okay. And. You know, like we're like, what do you need? And so at one point I have this weird thing where I love hospital cafeteria food. And so I'm like, let's go get some food. I wasn't even hungry, but I just like the thought of going to eat at a cafeteria in the hospital.

And so I just wanted to give them some space too, because her mom and her grandmother were there and her, you know, there, we just, it was like we had no, I own them forever. It was, it was beautiful. And so. We start walking towards the cafeteria and I'm getting really excited about my tuna sandwich from the cafeteria and my phone rings and it's the room.

And I'm like, Oh no, she's changed her mind. And you're like, you better get back here because your baby's about to be born. And so, I mean, Dash through the hallway and we're back and we open the door and stuff is happening. Yeah. Then the doctor walks in and he says, get ready, boys. This is going to be quick.

So we, we kind of had it planned out and she had a birth plan that we were respecting where we were going to stand and where it was going to happen. And that all went out the window like that didn't really happen. Um, Blair. Helped hold up one of her legs and I was up at her head and I might reminder Jonathan is a paramedic and he is used to dealing with people at medical things.

I. Can't handle a paper cut. So there we are. You should have been totally flip-flop positions, but this is awesome. All birth plans go out the window regardless. So this is amazing. So they put the oxygen on her to help her breathe, and I'm like, and I'm kind of like rubbing her hair and it came so natural and she's holding my hand and she's holding her my grandmother's hand.

And I can't remember it. Like it happened five minutes ago. She's, it's just, it's so beautiful. And, um, you know, like you want to be respectful because you know, there is no modesty in labor. Right. Um, but I want to be as respectful as we can, but like we're in it, right? Like we're there. Yeah. And so, and she's like kind of breathing and I'm kind of like take a deep breath.

You're doing great. You're doing great. And she starts to crown and. Blair is making more noise than she is at this point. And he's holding my hand to the point where it's hurting. He's gripping it so bad and he goes, are you ready? He whispers in the chaos. Are you ready for this? And I'm like, Well, now's probably not the time you told me that you're not right.

I mean, blur, that's the, that's the head like w w I don't get it. And he's like, I think, yeah, he's a midget. I go, what. And I go, what are you talking about? And he goes, it's hidden. It's so small. And about that time before I could even get it out, she pushed in there, arched his back up against the wall as if he was the one pushing and all he kept saying, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

His words just got louder until Zeke's head appeared. And then it quickly came out and. I had cut a few umbilical cords from I as a paramedic. You've got to spend time in labor and delivery, but then you also have delivered some babies. And so I was so nervous that we were both, they gave us each scissors to cut and we were shaking so much.

I wear couldn't wear cut his and I couldn't cut mine. That is so precious, Jonathan. Oh my goodness. It was important for us that they bond right away and as it was for her. And so they did skin to skin, um, and then he came over, they checked him and then we instantly started doing skin to skin with him.

And, uh, he still has the same face when he cries. Uh, you know, you don't know in every state is different. Like how adoption works. Like no adoption is that your child right away. Right. The mother still has very much legal rights as she should. Um, and it can be some States. It can be seven days. Some, it can be three minimum.

I think that the most minimal States three, and then. California where we are, the mother can choose anywhere from three days to 365 days to make a final decision. Um, and so that's, that's scary as a, because you want to be a parent, but you wanna to make sure everything's done right for the child. And so.

Everything we've read. And maybe you suggested this. I honestly don't remember, but we wanted to get her some food. Like she was ready to eat, um, in the cafeteria was closed. And so she want to talk with golf. So Blair and I went and we got her well, um, and we get back and she in a very. Surreal, very memorable, very special.

She's like, I want to give you your son, but just promise me. You always let him know. I loved him so much to let him go. And you know, that's a powerful, you know, she's giving us a part of her. Yeah. And that was a, I mean, it's, I will never like, that's real that's happening. Right. And. Uh, you know, things are happening quick, she's moved to the mother baby unit.

Um, and it goes back to what you were saying about, she was, she's always been very respectful of our role and of what she perceives that role to be in. And it's always been, um, it's always been so amazing and we've been so fortunate and I think that's. W that was a bit, bit, you know, that's, I think that's the thing like looking at looking, even as I'm talking, talking back to that, is it, that transition is fast, right?

And a lot of times you may not have control over that, but they were full the labor and delivery unit. And so it was moving fast. You were going to a mother baby unit. When all we wanted to do is sit in that moment. We didn't want to leave the room. We didn't want to leave her. We didn't want to leave him.

We didn't want to leave her family. We just want it to be still and be there. And that wasn't happening. It was moving fast. Um, and so. I can remember them putting him in the nursery cart and they push us up to the same floor. And she said, why the P the birth plan was that we would bond with him in a separate room.

And she wanted that as well. And I can't remember that night. She wanted to get out of the hospital relatively soon. Um, and that night I heard her crying. And I'm like, I'm not okay with this. One of them, we sit our good. One of us are going to stay with Zeke. And one of us are going to go and be with her because it's not us in her.

It's not us versus her. It's just, it's an us, right. We're equal in this together. And if she has pain, we want to feel pain. If she has hurt, we want to know about that. We want open, clear, organic communication in this because. All we care about is Zeke's best interest. And part of his best interest is loving and being there for his mom who gave him life.

Um, and so I can remember just like holding her and hugging her and say, we're going to get through this together. And, and she didn't want us to know that she was upset, but we knew she was upset. And, um, And so the next morning she left and she came over to our room and she spent, since I was there, it was very emotional.

She was by herself. Um, cause we were all crying and um, you know, here's we met someone on a gurney that's in labor and now she's walking out of the house hospital. Yeah. With, yeah. Oh, the part that's not attached to her. Right. And that's. Symbolic, that's powerful that's and she's trusting us with a part of her to, to raise.

And I think everyone gets into adoptions for different reasons when it's so important to know, like, you know, that it's, it's so healthy to be one in this situation, you know, um, when the birth mother chooses adoption, she's already choosing to make the best decision. What she thinks is for the child, but probably the hardest decision she'll ever make of her life.

And so she said she was discharged and said goodbye. Um, and I didn't really know much about what happened after that. Um, we were sleep deprived. We had been up all night, um, and we were just really tired and I thought, okay, he's, we're going to go home the next day. We need to get some sleep. So in this hospital chair and beds, not really cutting it.

Um, and Blair will have a good story to tell you in just a second. So we asked you because he could go to the nursery and you're like, Oh, that's nice. Yeah, we don't do that anymore. We only have the NICU. And so. Oh. Oh, okay. So Jonathan proceeds to get comfy in the patient's bed. I was tired and under the blankets and asking for ginger ale and asking for ice chips and wow.

I run the nurse call bell because I was tired and I said, Hey, can I get some Ginny round ice chips? Hm. Um, and she looked really confused because it wasn't the nurse that was taking care of us and my mother and baby unit. We're two dads and a baby on a mother and baby unit. She just looked at us. Said, okay.

Shook her head and walked out of the room. She was really confused. Um, you know, but it was, I dunno, you really thought that was funny that I was like, you acted like you gave birth. So are you, so she was allowed to leave the hospital, but, or are you guys allowed to leave the hospital? No, because he had to stay a vaginal delivery.

There had to stay 48 hours. Okay. So that was just a medical, like, just to keep checking on the baby or whatever. Okay. So she came back the next day and met with us and met with him and it was great. And we knew we were kind of like leaving that day and you have to take a mandatory class. And sometimes it's just like checking boxes about like postpartum and making sure like the car seat was good that the car seat was a separate thing, but.

Blared out being a medical person, we went into this really bizarre room, kind of a conference room. And they all had pads on the chairs because you know, most moms that are sitting right beside us just gave birth. And there's some things that are happening down there. Right. They might need those beds.

They made you go through the postpartum class. They did. It's so convenient and talking about breastfeeding and everything. We had to watch the breastfeeding we're like, here we go.  Oh my goodness. Into the box. So I might take one of those pads home for a suit, right. And some health insurance somewhere paid for this too.

Oh, my goodness. Even better. I have a question for you guys. Did, um, did seeks birth mom ever? Did she want to nurse, or did she nurse at all in those first moments when you went to go get taco bell? No, she did not. And most adoption agencies actually encouraged that not to happen. Um, medically that's a good thing to happen.

Bonding. That's a very tough thing. Yeah. So, so is circumcision, right? So like you, you don't make that decision right away, typically an adoption because some families may want it and some may not. And if the birth family wants it, but the adoptive family doesn't or vice versa, it can delay the process.

Okay. Oh yeah. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. It passed when Zika had done. If we wanted to go watch. No, I don't need to see that. Yeah, because we did the bell curve with Zeke. Oh, you want me to tell this? Well, I'm sure Zach's going to really enjoy this pot when he's older. So, so this happens in a relationship often, or Blair looks at me and will probably happen one time in his podcast.

He just did the look. He gave me the look like Jonathan. Stop. This is great. Like, so we went out on our first dinner date in his four skin fell off. So, but Blair's mom thought it would be okay to put it in a Ziploc bag and put it in his baby book, which we do away. I mean, that's awkward. But I'm like, I still, like two days later, I'm like, what's this it's just Steve.

Did I thought you

no big deal. I don't know anyone who has their forest skin in their baby book.

Thank goodness. Oh, my goodness. Okay. So w when you got out of this nursing postpartum class, they actually let you just leave the hospital at that point. So we know from not exactly we had to wait, we waited a little bit for. A social worker to come to say that all the paperwork had been done signed, um, because she had to sign paperwork, but she could not legally sign until 72 hours.

Um, so, and you can not sign in the house hospital in the state of California. You have to sign once you're discharged. And so that brings another thing up, right? For the delay, if it is a C-section versus a vaginal delivery, um, So in every state is different. Every state has different laws, which is very confusing for adoptive families.

When you're looking, can you get States adopt and what States. Or pro adoption and which may have more difficult restrictions kind of things. So when the social worker came and said that, I mean, she was amazing right away. She wanted us to make sure he had our last name. His first name was a big deal. Mmm Hmm.

And we wanted to make sure that we honor that. And so Zeke is Zeke named by his mom and, uh, So, but she wanted to make sure that he had our last name and like anything like legal, she would, if they referred to her, she would just refer them to us. Um, which talking to the adoption worker is that we said, she's like, literally, this was like, if there's a perfect case, this was literally perfect.

Like textbook of what you want. One to, like, you guys had an understanding that there was so much mutual respect and a lot of times there's not. Um, in often Sally, that comes from the adoptive families. Like they feel like once the baby's born, they have full control and that's just not the case. Yeah. Um, and you know, what I think is important question to ask is like, why are you in this and that it's important for the child.

Um, so anyway, I went and put a car seat in a rental car and probably sweated out 10 pounds while Blair packed everything up and. We left Bakersfield when we got in the car seat and she was at the hospital to meet us when we left. That was important for us and for her. And, um, so we left the hospital, we made a few stops and then we had our hotel right outside of LA, because we wanted to be close to the airport because you have something called, um, ICP laws, which are.

What's that ICPC ICPC, which is like travel laws with traveling with a newborn from state to state. So basically we have to get approval from California to be able to travel. And, but we also needed a approval from North Carolina to travel. So California had signed off on it, but we knew we needed to wait for North Carolina.

And so Z I forget what day of the week he was born on, um, Saturday. Okay. So we left the hospital around them Monday, Tuesday, and, and so we were waiting, we were waiting for North Carolina to sign off on this every day we were waiting and we ate it could have been well. I mean, we are watershed community and friends, Dan and Michelle, I just adopted may took three weeks in Arizona.

So we were, we were prepared to stay for three weeks. I was really excited about our adventures in LA and keep in mind it's us who never been parents and we're sitting in a hotel. You don't, you know, I always joke because we didn't, we were not able to sterilize, you know, bottles and, you know, we could, we couldn't warm milk you.

We couldn't do anything that people do normally now will help us change that.

And Blair was great. He found the perfect hotel with the help of my sister, perfectly located. In front of a target behind a Walmart, just in case one didn't have with the other, we need it. And so we're on the way to like LA with her newborn and I'm in the back seat. And then all of a sudden I'm like, Oh God Blair, I didn't Google.

Like how long you, God can stand a car seat, like a newborn. I don't know, but we have to pull over, pull over right now. We've got to get this kid out of here and make sure he's okay. And so that we did okay. I think we either more time went on, we started the doubt. We weren't surrounded by our family or anybody.

We had also sleep. Yeah. And it was, it was, it was getting hard because we are questioning everything. Are we doing this right? Is, you know, we got nervous. You know, the smallest little sounds and we just, you know, we were going nuts. I think, well, in being a paramedic, you never forget the kids that you have to do CPR on that unfortunately died from SIDS.

And I was so scared that was going to happen to us, you know, and I think it's every parent's nightmare that that could happen. And that's a real fear, but actually being involved in that, in doing CPR on a SIDS baby, it's the worst. And so you want to do everything right? And. All of a sudden, this doubt flooded her minds.

Like, Oh my God, can we take care of this kid? Yeah. Most people keep their babies inside a house for weeks before they go out for the first time we were out when he's two days old, you know, and we're going to Chinese restaurants or wherever it is because we have to do something. And so it got to be Friday.

And we finally, well, let me back up, we got a little more comfortable through the week and. I was like, Oh, this isn't so bad. We got this down, the baby visual and things fitting pretty good. And on both of us and like, all right, he's doing okay. And we're doing good. And we have enough diapers and all is good.

And we made it out to dinner one night and had food, um, because the hotel, when we got there had no food. So, um, everything was good. Uh, and. So we decided we were going to just go like, take a nice little leisurely stroll through Santa Monica pier because how memorable would that be with our first kid is what we didn't anticipate as the California wins in July.

And so we get out of the car and literally every woman. During her yoga class, as they see Blair put an infant into his baby,  saying that he's hearing no, the rap you're going the ramp. And, uh, very naturally for one week they were like, are you okay? Do you need anything? Is everything alright? And we're like, Yeah, it's fine.

Why are you us like this? And so, but then as we started to walk, the wind picked up and I don't know, we got nervous and we got back in the car and said, Oh my God, what were we doing? Um, and so we went back to the hotel and then. Dave the other, the next day we went and bought a stroke. Well, we were in line.

We were at babies R us and it was a Friday afternoon and it got to be about two o'clock California time. And we knew, okay, well, East coast. You know, it's five o'clock in North Carolina, so they're not going to approve us to come back today. So we're stuck here for the weekend and we were staying near the Ronald Reagan library.

So we thought, well, we'll go there for the weekend, but we're gonna need the stroller. Favorite picture from that tweezer us is probably of me standing in front of the lactation room because. I went to change Zeke in the men's room and there's no baby changing tables and like, Oh, you can go in the lactation room, like, sure.

So I just went it proudly, went in there and smiled at the other mom that was in there and changed his diaper. And then what happened? So we're standing in line and we're like, what? We'll just get the stroller. Cause we're gonna need it for the weekend. Cause we gotta do something. And um, our attorney calls and he says, North Carolina has approved you.

So, and we said, so what does that mean? He said you guys are clear to go home at any time. So we turned around and we took that the stroller and we put it back on the shelf and got right out of there and went back to the hotel and got in our lobby. And. Um, book flights, book a I to come back to Charlotte.

Cause we just want to be back to family as quick as we could. Is it weird? I can't remember any of that. Yeah, exactly. Deprivation. No kidding. Yeah. I remember it vividly. I can remember on the way to the hotel. I'm like Claire pull over really quick. We have to get a picture in front of the Hollywood. The Beverly Beverly Hills sign, we did Beverly hillside.

And so we drove past there to get a quick picture with him by Beverly Hills. And cause we, you know, we didn't know what was going to what the future was going to be like. And, and so we made it the airport and uh, I dropped Jonathan off of the bags and a baby and I go return to the car and I said, good luck.

And we, uh, you know, In this day and age today, this is not a big deal. And, but back then, I mean, you're talking just six years ago, so much has changed to men with a baby. A lot of people look at you, like what's going on in a baby. That's only, you know, five days old, you know, people look at you like what's going on?

You know, why, why is that happening? Why are you getting on a red ice? The lady with a Fanny pack on chase us into the family restroom and then stood out and waited. Like, do you guys need anything? Is everything okay? Yes, it's fine. Yeah. Like what do they, I wonder what it is. What did they think was happening?

I think most people curiosity, they just, yeah, they can't wrap their arms around two men taking care of a baby. You know, whether they're married or not, you know, it's. You know, it's in a new society, tells them something else for whatever, or did, I don't think so much, but also even in today, you're not, not often that you probably see a newborn newborn in an airport, you know?

So that is like, Oh, what's going. Right. So we got a lot of questions and just people like curious, and we did, you know, us. We were like, Oh yeah, we had doubt here's the story, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, three hours later, they're like, Oh, thanks. I was sorta surprised Jonathan didn't have like tee shirts made.

Right? Sure. I kind of, uh, relate it to, like, I find it so weird when people go up and feel like they have the right to touch a pregnant ladies belly. Like when I I've seen that happen once and I'm like, you don't have that. Right. That's their personal space. And I felt like very much like that. Like people just felt they had the right to come up and see what was going on.

And you're like, don't breathe it by do board. Yeah. Right. We very much like that. You know, we were flying back on a red eye and. You know, we were so desperate to get back to Charlotte just to be around her friends and family, just so he could, you know, someone could tell us, look, you guys are doing okay.

And one thing that's important before you fly is that you have to get medically cleared for that infant under the 14 days of age. And so that sounds really complicated, but all it is is that a physician is to lay eyes on that. It doesn't even have to be a pediatrician. We went to an urgent care. And found a doctor to just listen to his lungs and say that he was healthy to fly on that a good occupation saturation.

Um, so we had to keep that paperwork with us and we flew from, we had no problems in California and we flew to Atlanta and in Atlanta, The flight attendant just couldn't believe that we were flying with a five day old baby and told us we couldn't get on the flight and from Atlanta to, from Atlanta to Charlotte.

And we're like, no, no, no, you don't understand. We just got off a red eye. We have now six day old. We've had no sleep. We have our family waiting for us at the airport. We're going to get on that plane. And she's like, well, I just don't feel comfortable. And I'm like, we want to talk to the pilot. And he like.

Understood. And he was sympathized with us and we got on the plane. Oh my goodness. I am. So I was thinking, well, you didn't get medically cleared from Georgia. Well, just to make an added layer of complication. Well, that's what we said to them. We were like, well, we just flew four hours on your airline. So you guys have a problem we're getting on this plane.

You know what I mean? They've already set a precedent, so, okay. So I have like a very vivid memory of Facebook on the next moment. And so, um, I just want to hear like, and clearly it was just the beginning of your story, but, um, the end of. Zeke's birth story with, uh, arriving home in Charlotte? Well, when we landed and we got off the plane and came down to baggage claim and, uh, my parents were there and some friends from our families and our church community, and, um, just people who, some of our colleagues from work were there and just there to, um, just level with us and yeah.

I just remember, I've seen the video a couple of times and just cried, ugly tears. Yeah. Are you even talking about like, we're both, like Blair's getting choked up and you know, like it's, so it's so special that we, you know, like it, uh, it was just. Yep. So beautiful to be part of that moment. Well, I have one last question for you guys and that's um, what was, or is your favorite baby product?

So if there are new parents or especially like new adopting parents and they're listening and, um, what could you share with them about like what your favorite like GoTo baby product was? Um, I'm not going to be able to be any help on this because Jonathan. Ordered did everything. You're really good at that.

I don't know. I mean, I, honestly, my biggest advice to families is, look, you don't need all the fancy stuff. You just don't, you just need a bunch of onesies and diapers. You know what I mean? And a lot of love, you know what I mean? A lot of patients just for your, I've got all these like really nice, like not, I wouldn't say.

Nice, but just the cute, like neutral, close. And let's be honest. All we use was the little nightgowns that we pulled up, but I think my favorite is probably the dr. Brown bottles. I loved them. They were great to clean, great to use, and that's probably. Yeah. I, the only thing I'd probably say, um, I really got into making the boys baby food, and then I still make their babies, their applesauce.

And, you know, I try to make a lot of their food, but, um, you know, we J this was Jonathan's idea is like, let's, you know, let's, let's make the baby food. This is what happened. What are the baby bullet? And then. I had a recipe, but can I go blur every Sunday? We're going to do this. It's going to be bonding.

It's going to be great. I'll help heal the apples. You can pull them butternut squash and all this. I had all these recipes. And so now. I did that, like maybe the first 15 minutes on the first Sunday. And I was like, Oh, we can go to whole foods and trader Joe's it's okay. So this is too much work. And after the first week I was like, no, I was really into it.

And I was like, I want to do this all the time. And it branched out. And I really believe it's led to our boys having healthy eating habits now, but, um, You know, I would say if you have an inclination to create your own baby food, do it. Cause it is, it is. So it's one of the best things you can give your kids and, uh, and you learn so much about, you know, what you're actually giving them, you know, and I'm not, I'm not a health nut, you know, crazy, you know, like a big, you know, you gotta do everything plant-based I have not.

But, um, I really believe in that stuff now. And I just, it was so much easier and I got so much joy out of it. Out of it. And I'm so proud of our boys now. And they ask for, can, can you make the homemade applesauce or can we have the broccoli like this? And, you know, I really liked that. And so if you have any kind of desire for that, you know, run with it, cause it's, it is rewarding.

I hope that they give you four kids at a minimum. After I hear things like that, I made homemade Apple sauce one time, and then max made this face at me that was like, Like, it was just the most disgusting thing ever. And I remember being like angry at my like three months old. Like how dare you? How dare you give me that face.

And I never made baby food again. Oh man.

Well, you guys are incredible and I'm so thankful to. Have heard the very extended version of this beautiful story. Cause I had only had snippets of it over the years. And so I think there's a lot to learn from your story and anyone that's listening. Um, I know it's going to take away a lot and hopefully people had some tissues too, so, and then it's just, it's like be flexible.

And then back to that, The one thing you said what? My favorite probably baby product was, it was more, it was the Phil and TEDS, like clip one high chair that you could take that was portable. Um, cause I never really liked using like hydro there's everywhere else. Oh yeah. That's a good one too. My favorite, I, we use that cause it works up to like 35 pounds.

We use it forever. Um, That's probably one of my favorite things. Awesome. So I'll put links to all those in the show notes. If anybody wants to take a look at any of those products, I'm a big fan of dr. Browns too. And those that bottle warmer. I think that was probably one of my favorite favorite ones too, so well, I'm really excited to hear what happens on the next, um, You know, phase of this journey and I would love to have you guys back on, um, to talk about your adoption story with cache your other son, too.

Um, but before you guys go, uh, Blair, do you want to share, do you want to, um, should I link in the show notes about, um, the state of adoption? Right. Well, um, Yeah. In my profession as a TV news anchor, I've been doing a lot of, um, uh, deep dives on topics. And, um, uh, I'd done a couple of primetime specials, 30 minutes, an hour long specialism.

Um, these are specials that I anchor and produce, and so I get really deep into them. And so the staff came to me and said, why don't you do something on adoption? And I thought it really Oh, okay. And, um, And so we did this past, uh, uh, November did 30 minutes on the state of adoption and what that looks like, uh, from a private standpoint, but also from a foster, Kansas, uh, foster care standpoint.

And, uh, it also looks at, you know, what's happening on national level and what's happening in Washington to, um, you know, make, make the playing field a little more level for everyone, you know? So that cost isn't so far out of reach. And so the process isn't so overwhelming, um, And so there's been a lot of support through the Dave Thomas foundation for adoption based at, uh, uh, Columbus, Ohio, and as some advocates in Washington and some lawmakers.

And so, um, you know, we did that program in November. It's still [email protected] slash state of adoption. Perfect. Okay. And I'll link to that in the show notes, because I think I watched it and I think everyone should, um, Watch it, that is interested in adoption. So you, well, you guys are awesome.

I love you. You're awesome.

Listening to birth story. Michael is you'll walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want. No matter what that looks like. If you're enjoying this podcast, then I need your help to spread the word.

If you know anyone who is pregnant is trying to become pregnant or just loves a good birth story. If you could send them to iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify or SoundCloud, wherever they listen to their podcasts and ask them to subscribe to the birth story podcast.