45 Free Birth With Gracie Davis Power Lifter on Free Birth Part 1 of 2

Busy mom week! Show notes coming soon!

TRANSCRIPTION

What does a contraction feel like? How do I know if I'm in labor and what did the day of labor look like? Wait, is this normal? Hey, I'm Heidi. My best friends. Call me hides. I'm a certified birth doula host of this podcast and author of birth story and interactive pregnancy guidebook. I have supported hundreds of women through their labor and deliveries, and I believe every one of them and you deserves a microphone and a state.

So here we are within each one to get answers to these tough questions, birth story, where we talk about pregnancy labor deliveries, where we tell our stories and share our feelings. And of course, chat about our favorite baby products and motherhood. And because I'm passionate about birth outcomes, you will hear from some of the top experts and labor and delivery, whether you are pregnant, trying desperately to get pregnant, or you just love a good birth story.

I hope you will stick around and be part of this birth story family. Thank you for listening to the birth story podcast. If you are tuning in for the first time, I want to encourage you to start the beginning. I want you to go on a journey with me and allow me to be your virtual doula and teach you. All the things along the way.

So I'm just going to give you a couple of highlights. Some of the earlier podcast episodes, if you are just now tuning en so very first episode, episode one, you can learn all about me, who I am, why I became a doula, why it is I do what I do and also my very own birth story with myself. Second child Jagger, then I've interviewed some yeah, really cool CEOs.

So episode three, Tori Jones is the CEO of ETL triangle, and she was also featured on Rachel Hollis's. The rise podcast, episodes seven was Rachel coli. The CEO of can do kiddo. She was just on good morning America. She's an incredible occupational therapist. It teaches you how to play with your baby and her.

First stories are incredible. Episode 10 was one of my best friends. Amy who had a back in the car. We have done episodes on micro preemies episode, 1821 on international adoption out of Uganda. 24 and 25. Oh, those episodes like get a box of tissues. They're on Seragusi and cancer. We've addressed hypnobirthing, fertility, really easy, joyful medicated birds, really hard, long labors, medicated, unmedicated, everything in between.

So I hope you'll start at the beginning. Let the birth story podcast take you on a journey. All the way through and enjoy this episode and then remembered a rewind all the way back to episode one. Thanks for tuning in Gracie Davis. Wow. This is one of those episodes where I'm like star struck because she has so many Instagram followers and for good reason, this is an incredible woman, a little bit controversial to some, not to me, but.

She is talking about unassisted free birth, how she came to that decision. There's a lot to learn from Gracie Davis, even if home birth or free birth is not for you. So if you are very interested in this topic, Then I wanted to let you know that episode 36 is also from Sara Lee. He on an unassisted home birth.

Now everybody that listened to this podcast knows I am a hospital based birth doula. But I am very committed to the fact that we learn from each other, no matter what our birth, labor and deliveries look like that we have the authority and the autonomy to make choices for ourselves and our body and our baby, and that we can learn from each other.

So Gracie Davis is going to walk us through going into labor, how her labor unfolded to delivery. There's so much to learn from her about finding your power and surrendering to the most natural process and beautiful process of giving birth. And my hope for you today is that the light in me sees the light new, sees the late and Gracie, and that we can all come together without judgment and learn from each other.

Hi, Gracie Davis, this is Heidi with the birth story podcast. Welcome. Thanks, Heidi. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to interview you today because I actually, you came to me via one of my best friends, Amy Barber, and maybe a month ago, she was like, are you following Gracie on Instagram? And I was like, no.

And she started telling me. Like all the things about you. And I was just, just so, so enamored before I even got onto your Instagram account. Right. And then I sort of went crazy and devoured the whole thing. And so why not? Why don't you start by just telling us a little bit about who you are, Gracie and where you live and, and then also how people could find you on Instagram, if they want to follow along.

Awesome. Yeah, I was actually wondering how you found me. Okay. So my name's Gracie, I'm 31 years old, identical triplet. Um, I'm from Canada from a small town, about an hour North of Ottawa, Ontario. I live in San Diego. Now I own a gym here. I Cove on a power lifting gym. I've been in the States in San Diego for almost 10 years.

And, um, I'm married to a recon Marine. We have a little Blake Griffin he's, uh, almost 14 months. And I'm pregnant with our second son, 15 weeks pregnant. And, um, people can find me on YouTube, uh, at Gracie Davis or Instagram. If you search Gracie V should pop up. My handle is Gracie banal. Yeah. And then I haven't.

I think based on pages as well, but I'm not as active on Facebook these days. And I will link to all of them in the show notes. So in case somebody was like driving and they just don't have a chance to just quickly write it down. But Gracie, you have a lot of followers when we're recording this around 56.

7,000 followers on Instagram. I mean, that's a lot. And so I'm going to say that at the front of this episode, because you have a lot to say and a lot to share and people like to listen. You have to say funny. I used to have a lot more followers. And then when I started talking about birth and. Radical stuff like that.

Radical mothering. I lost a lot of followers, really close to 50 and that's okay, well you gained me. Yeah. So that's okay. Well, and I would say that's how I came to you too. So my best friend, Amy, I call her my crunchy mama. So she's kind of in tune. She stays in tune with all things kind of natural, and she just takes a keen interest in things that are radical.

She's pretty radical. So I'm really glad that she linked me to your Instagram and that we're able to have this interview. And so let's just dive right in. If I were to ask you, what are your like top five? Platforms for pregnancy and birth and being a mom that, you know, may go against the grain. What do you feel like for, I was going to say just, what do you feel like those are, uh, the top five things, um, that I'm about that are grants against the grain.

I guess at the top of the list would be unassisted birth. Number two on assisted pregnancy, number three, ISI. Elimination communication. Number four, post sleeping and number five nursing, other people's kids. Yeah. Can we talk about all five of those things? Let's see, I was like, let's dig in and okay. So let's go, let's kind of go in order then of like unassisted pregnancy, unassisted birth, and then, then all the other three kind of lumped together with elimination, communication and co-sleeping and then, um, like co nursing.

So I don't know, is there a better term for. Community nursing village. No, no, I've never really. We needed, we need a hashtag. I know, right? Probably. Um, yeah, no, I dunno. Well, you're pregnant right now. Griffin is, um, 15, 14 months old. And so let's talk about unassisted pregnancy. Can you define that for us? And like, what does that mean for you and your family?

It just means I'm not having a. You know, a care provider or a medical provider that I see regularly, um, it can sort of look differently for different people, but, um, Uh, for myself, I did see a midwife when I was, uh, just becoming pregnant. I was having a lot of implantation bleeding and wondering if I was getting more pregnant or less pregnant.

And I really wanted to get a blood test and see if my age DG levels were rising or not. And, um, so I saw midwives to get, to draw my blood. And then it looked like I was very pregnant, so I didn't end up going back to the second one. It was convincing enough for me. So, so yeah. And then I, haven't thinking about maybe doing a little bit of testing.

I'm not sure I was pretty dead set against it a couple of weeks ago. And now thinking, Oh, maybe I do want that. So I don't know. But, um, for right now, now I haven't seen anybody like, um, no one goes into the baby's heartbeat. Um, I haven't gotten any ultrasound and, um, I don't see anybody unless something comes up and I feel like I need a sister from the medical system, then I'll seek it.

But yeah, pretty much it, well, I like it. And I think that what we're going to get to in this interview is that you're educated. You are in control of your body and you're making decisions for you and your body and your baby that come from you. And so let's talk a little bit more about that. Like where in the world, like, you know, if, if most people just PMSA get pregnant, you know, a lot of my clients have to go through fertility journeys to get pregnant, but say you just pop up pregnant.

You know, our culture conditions us. The first thing you do is go for this confirmation appointment at the doctor's office. And so like, tell me who introduced you to this concept of unassisted pregnancy or unassisted home birth, like, because it's not ingrained in our culture that we just wake up and know about that.

Yeah. So actually, um, my husband was getting ready to be moved. Uh, we didn't know where it could have been San Diego, North Carolina or Japan. And I was pregnant, um, with Griffin and planning a home birth with home birth midwives here in San Diego and now, but, uh, he was going to be re stationed before I was due.

So I was looking into my options and these different places and learned as you know, that. Humberto is illegal. Like it's illegal for midwives to attend home births in North Carolina. So then it was brought to me like an assistant birth. And I had kind of been hearing about it a little bit just through Instagram.

That's like the first introduction I have had to it, even though I come from a home birthing family, my mom had a home birth. Most of my aunts had home births and I lived with a home birth midwife growing up, just kind of adopted me in my teen years. So. I mean, I was always going to birth at home, but I didn't even know people did it without midwives.

I didn't even know really that existed. So wait, hold on. I have to interject right there. Did your mom deliver identical triplets at home? No. Okay. That one was about home birth. I was like, Whoa. I was like, my mind is being blown right now. I think that she would've had a much less traumatic experience. Had she been supported at home?

She didn't have any ultrasounds with us. Um, because she was planning a home birth. And then at week 30 she did have an ultrasound because her midwife thought she might be having twins and her midwife wouldn't attend. Her at home because she was having twins. And then she found out she was having triplets and she went on to carry us to almost 40 weeks and Bertha naturally and vaginally without any drugs in a hospital.

And, um, but then there was a pretty traumatic experience that followed. She was given Pitocin against her consent after, you know, for the placenta. And she had a reaction from not giving her seizures. And we were separated from her. My aunt took us out of the hospital straight away and nursed us for the next two weeks while my mom.

Almost died. And, um, so yeah, it's pretty rare, um, to, you know, you hear about triple going bad, long gestation and for vaginal birth. So my mom a fucking badass, she is a badass. She is about us. Well, some of this Alliance to rate like you. Sounds like you are definitely raised in this really supportive, like home birth community.

Your mom had a traumatic experience, which would definitely play into the stories that we hear, you know, as children and, and getting ready for our learning from our moms and our aunts and our grandmas on how to birth our babies. So that all makes tons of sense to me. Okay. But if you're an Instagram, you said Instagram helped me.

What hashtags should I be following? If I was interested in unassisted, like hashtag on assisted pregnancy. Yeah. And it's the pregnancy on a septum birth free birth wild pregnancy. I'll put all those in the show notes too, so we know what to follow so we can get super, super curious for whenever I said that.

Yeah, hadn't gotten any older sounds, but I said that I was having a boy just for some people who might be confused how I know that, um, I did an ad home blood test with it's called sneak peek, and even just prick your finger and send in a couple of drops of your blood and, uh, pretty cool. Okay. So you knew you were having a boy around what gestation.

My last pregnancy and nine weeks and this kind of eight weeks I did it. Okay. Yeah. Well, you have my heart because I also have two boys. That are very close in age also. So yours will be about 20 months apart. Um, and then mine are 15. So I will give you like a virtual hug right now. Crazy. Um, but there are a couple of things we're gonna talk about that.

I, I truly believe as a mom and as a doula and a friend and a mother that kind of help. Having two kids and one of them is co-sleeping. So we're going to talk about that. Um, I am a fellow co-sleeper and a fellow, uh, village nurser. And so we're going to talk a little bit about those that we share in common when we get into that too.

But I think that they really help when you have children that are close together there first survival, survival mode. So unassisted pregnancy, I'm going to go out on a limb and say, Pretty pretty. Stress-free like, it sounds really stress free to me. Um, and I'm wondering if it's more stressful or if it's pretty stressful while you go through a stage?

Well, I went through a stage like working around my fear in my first pregnancy, you know, it was a huge deal, like to decide to Fravor and, um, And so yeah, you got to work it out and you got to really unpack a lot of the fear. See what they're actually about to see what all of these, what ifs actually are and what the, you know, the evidence based information looks like out there they're on them.

And, um, but yeah, like, yeah, I carried two 42 and one 42 weeks extended a day with Griffin. And those last few weeks were super stress free. And even if I was under the care of home birth midwives, um, they probably would have dropped me or. Tried to all these like natural induction methods, which I wasn't interested in or other stuff.

So it was like non-stress tests and ultrasounds, but I didn't want to do it was really frustrated. I just, you know, relax. It was the most relaxing kind of, my pregnancy was the last four weeks, you know, from like 38 to 42 weeks. And. That was really nice. And I was really grateful that I didn't have anybody to answer to, or my phone was going to rain and I didn't have anybody to avoid during that time.

And now, I mean, I'm only 15 weeks in this time, but still super stress free. Yeah. And because I did all the work, my last pregnancy working around the fears. I'm not doing that. You know, I'm not faced with that stuff now and be able to come up later. Cause like, you know, every birth is so different, but I feel I'm pretty relaxed about right now.

Well, I think no matter what type of birth you're planning or anyone's planning, there are so many fears that we have to work through. And number two and number three, number four, number five. Those are all. They're unique in their own experiences, but they also kind of quell some of the anxiety after you've been there done that, um, that the first is there.

So, so we just have that burden that we do have to work through. I was recently on the, doing it at home podcast with Sarah and Matthew Bivins. I interviewed them and they interviewed me. Yeah. And one of the things that they talked about was making that decision to do a home birth, but even with a midwife and all of that.

And I was like, wow, I had to make this decision to go get induced at the hospital. You know, there's whatever Avenue we're choosing, there's so much fear, you know, am I doing the right thing? Is the baby going to be okay? Am I going to be okay? You know, what is, I love that you said evidence, like, what is that evidence?

Right. Like, yeah. Go seeking evidence and reading and listening. And then I think all of those things are a recipe to help calm, you know, calm some of our fears down. Um, because the reality is, is that most of the time, you know, mom and baby are just fine. All the way through. Otherwise, there wouldn't be 7 billion of us on the planet.

Apparently it's pretty easy to have a baby. If there are 7 billion of us and grow. Yeah. Whether you know how to, or not your pregnancy in this pregnancy has been relatively stress free and you're working through those. Fears, and then just coming to this place of peace. And I've just got a question for you about powerlifting.

So what's the name of your gym in San Diego, California elite training center, CTC. Okay. Another link in the show notes that I will, um, put in. Yeah. So how many, like, tell me about this, because I'm so curious about this, all of those platforms, but this other thing is really a big part of who you are, is power lifting and the, um, You know, the face that you have out into the world of inspiring women and moms, and to just continue to work out through their pregnancy.

And so tell me how that went for you. Well, I mean, I haven't really known anything different. I've been powerlifting for. Um, over 10 years, competitively, I sort of retired a few years ago. I didn't meet actually. They, I can see if this baby I competed in immediately just for fun. My husband and I did it together.

I hadn't competed in a few years, but it was held at my gym and I thought it'd be fun to do. Anyway. Yeah, it's all I've ever really known basically in my adult life was lifting. So it's nothing, uh, I don't really know any difference. So whenever I got pregnant last time, of course I continued lifting. And, and then, because I was pretty much, well, I dropped my home birth midwives at 20 weeks pregnant during my last pregnancy.

But even before, when I was under their care, there were some super supportive of my listing. So it was never, there were never red flags. I never had to defend myself or ask permission or anything. I knew, I knew intuitively you know, that what I was doing was fine. And when it wasn't fine, I wouldn't do both certain movements like running or deadlifting.

I would get to a point in my pregnancy where something became uncomfortable and I wouldn't do it anymore. Very easy to just listen to my body and yeah, I've been, and, and it was great. I felt really strong throughout my last pregnancy. I continue to lift super heavy up until, um, up until I went into labor and this time around too, um, just working around morning sickness.

So like lifting a little bit later in the day after I've eaten several times and feeling better, I really enjoy it. And, uh, I'm really grateful. That's a really good point. I want to bring up. So as a power lifter and your body is incredible and it's so inspiring to see that you're on your second pregnancy and that you're just.

Stayed so healthy and so strong, you know, throughout Griffin's pregnancy and then well into this one already. But like you just said, like after eating several times, like so many moms are struggling right now with morning sickness and like, Gracie are so inspiring to me because I just gave up. I mean, I just felt so terrible.

I just like laid on the couch and then I was an international soccer player and I literally. I think they, for the grand, like twice in my first pregnancy, you just gave up, I felt so terrible. So in inspiring other women that are listening right now and their pregnancy is how do we not give up? So tell me about some of the things that you, um, are eating to just kind of push through your nausea, but that's also, you get enough fuel for powerlifting and for the baby.

Well, I had a lot of, I threw up on them every single morning and my pregnancy was Griffin and same here. Like, I feel better now once I'm into the second trimester, like during the day, but I'm still throwing up every morning, like clockwork, as soon as the toothbrush, I'm like dry heaving and thank God, like it's so real.

Like I haven't eaten, they're drinking. And you think at that point, so it smelled like a traumatic vomit, such as dry heaving and some, you know, stomach acid. And then I feel better afterwards, but, um, yeah. Not to sound super vain, but I guess it is like, I just didn't want to, I guess that I didn't want to gain a ton of weight during my pregnancy.

And that really motivated me to on the days I felt super shitty and like, I couldn't do much while I would walk on the StairMaster and like listen to a birth podcast for 30 minutes. And it was like really easy cardio, but, uh, I was just continuing to move and I knew that I was either gonna feel sick on the couch at home or feel sick on the StairMaster, but I would feel so much better about myself physically and mentally, you know, once I just to leave to 30 minutes on the StairMaster.

So I did that most of my pregnancy and I did lift. But not as religiously. My last pregnancy I lifted when I felt good. And I did a little bit of like supplemental exercises, like smaller bodybuilding accessories as a bonus sometimes, maybe once or twice a week. But mostly I was just trying to do cardio to feel fit and to keep my weight under control.

And then. This pregnancy, I'm lifting a lot more regular. And because I have childcare on, it's really forcing me to, you know, utilize the time away from Griffin. Cause I really want those breaks from Griffin. So, and it's at the gym, the childcare. So it's with a woman that works at the front desk. She wears some while I work out.

So I just, I really take advantage of that time. And I forced myself to lift and I feel great for doing it. Um, and I'm doing a lot less cardio now, but what I'm eating. I guess on a regular day it's, um, eggs and toast or eggs and a bagel for breakfast this morning, I had avocado toast on an English muffin with, uh, eggs and hot sauce.

And then I'll eat a few hours later, maybe a ground Turkey, potatoes, and veggies, and then I'll maybe have a bagel and peanut butter a couple hours after that. And then I'll eat. 'em. Some kind of like meat and grace or meat and potatoes for dinner, or maybe like sushi or whatever. If I'm, if I'm not cooking at night, I'll get takeout and be tired or something like that.

So that's what it looks like for me. I like it though. A lot, really been super regimented about my nutrition. But a lot of protein and a lot of carbs, you know, I think that those two things are so critical. I mean, I know like the fruits and vegetables are really important for like the nutrition, but like when moms are like, how do I get through the nausea?

I'm like, you just got to up the protein. I'm like up the road, get enough sustaining carbs. And. And somehow it's like, it's counterintuitive, right? Like you're so nauseous. You don't want to eat, but if you can get yourself to eat, you do feel so much. The only thing that makes me feel better is as long as I don't let myself get to the point of hunger.

Well, mostly speaking for in the first trimester, whenever it's just really bad all the time, all day long, I just have to be eating constantly. And if I let myself get to a point of hunger, Too far gone. I feel too nauseous at that point to eat, but if I can just stay fed, I'll feel a lot better, so, so much better.

So I hope that that's a key take home for anyone who's listening today. All right. Well, let's get into the unassisted home birth. So whatever ended up happening with your husband getting moved, like where'd you guys end up. And Diego, he got orders for a different base in San Diego. So he was perfect. Okay.

That worked out really well. I mean, I would have loved to have had you in North Carolina, but, but you guys got to stay in San Diego and then you went all the way to 42 weeks and one day. And I love that you said that that was like the most. Like stress-free part because those listening to the podcast who are loyal fans know that I went to 43 weeks gestation, which is also super controversial, you know, but I mean, I just was like, I am not getting induced so common in the unassisted world, 43 weeks.

So 42 weeks to me is not even a big deal because I know so many of my friends just in the last several months to, into 43 weeks, But, yeah, but for me, that was a very stressful time. So to hear, because there was just so much pressure, you went to 42 weeks, one day kind of stress free. Why don't you tell me about now?

One of the number one questions I get is how do I know I'm in labor? So what did that look like for you? How did you know you were going into labor? Well, for me, I was lying in bed around six 30 at night, which was almost their bedtime at the latest in my pregnancy. And I just felt like a period cramps and lasted almost a minute, five minutes later, I felt the same thing and it lasted a minute and I had about three of them.

I said, okay, think that's the contraction. It very, uh, Like rhythmic, like it's coming every, so many minutes. And, and then I just children in bed for a half an hour and they lasted a minute long and they were five minutes apart, pretty much my entire labor, other than like transition and a couple of rest periods right before he was born.

But yeah. So, um, that's how I knew it was not painful in the beginning. It was just kinda like a cramp, but then about an hour into it, they started getting more uncomfortable and. Oh, I know. Okay. So this brings me, so you are unassisted in your, at home, but I mean, you've got your husband and he's there as a support person.

And then I don't know this, but like, I'm assuming that you, did you have like a vision, like, did you want, did you rent a bathtub or did you have a tub, like kind of, what was your vision for what type of labor you were wanting to experience? Well, I just always, I did, I bought a birth tub. And I made one of our, the rooms in our house, like a little birthday, and then I hung fairy lights all over the walls and I painted the room, my favorite color.

And, um, and I set up a birth pool in there. I put some pool mats under the birth tub so that I could nail on a comfortably and, um, or kneeling in there, but I always pictured myself giving birth in front of our fireplace. So I, um, I brought a mattress down like a King size mattress down and I put it in front of the fireplace and I just, I, um, yeah, it was just like an extra bit we had, so I set it up in front of the fireplace so that, um, I could labor there and that's the vision, my husband, my birth.

And I loved like visualizing it and visualizing the third stage and how I would birth my placenta. And so, but he ended up being born in the water, not in front of the fireplace. I did labor in front of the fire for a few minutes, but mostly in our backyard, we had a hot tub. We still own this house. It's into macula, but an hour away from San Diego and.

Yeah. I labored in our hot tub in the backyard all night long, which was so nice. And I had my husband set up all our Christmas lights instead of in the front of the house. Like you usually what I had, cause it was around Christmas time. Christian was born on November 26th. I had him set up all the Christmas lights in the backyard.

So it was still like bright and colorful in the backyard. And then we had a hot tub. So I just, it was a saltwater hotel. I just the, yeah, just the temperature. And I pretty much stayed in there most of the night. Oh, my gosh. It sounds wonderful. Okay. So did your husband sleep or did he come be, was he with you the whole like awaken with you the whole time?

Did you want to be here? Yeah, alone. Um, so when I went downstairs, about 30 minutes after. Started after to make a fire. And he kept the fire going all night and fell. After Griffin was born 15 hours later, my labor was about 14, 15 hours. He slept most of the time on that bed in front of the fireplace. Um, it started at six 30 at night and he was born at nine in the morning, nine 30 in the morning.

Wow. Okay. That's a, that's a relatively fast, especially for four. I think it'd be like three days. So it was super fast for me and amazing. I felt very lucky. Yeah. A lot of that probably is attributed to the water and a deep place of relaxation. You know, like you were welcoming it, you wanted it. There was no where to transfer to you.

Didn't have to think about, Oh, when am I going to go the hospital? And when am I going to transfer here? And when am I going to call my doula? And what am I going to call my midwife? Like, you know, all that mindset, um, is something I try to get my mom's into, even when they're burning at the hospital, right.

Is like, how do we let go of the world? Get into the labor zone. Rocket out and just don't think about all these things that have to go, you know, go on. Yeah. Whenever you can just stay in that animal part of your brain and I'll have to talk or think, or yeah. Think of like logical things. Yeah. That's what I was.

So I didn't talk to my husband a lot. I only asked him maybe for a couple of things, like to fill the birth tub. And I asked him to come out in the. Hot tub with me a couple of times, but she was just like, go ahead and fall asleep where he is living. So, um, I, yeah, so I called, uh, I FaceTimed with my mom and with my sister Bonnie during my labor.

And I would just like go off in the corner of the hot tub for contraction and then come back and talk like normal, you know, the rest of the time in between. And yeah. My mom was like secretly tiny, my contractions, which like really annoyed me. Yeah. I was like shitting my brains out the entire labor. I was like getting out from the hot tub, like running into the bathroom and it was really excruciating to go through a contraction on the toilet.

So I was, um, And I also had to pee after every single contraction. So I ended up, uh, I was naked the entire time. I ended up just like getting them a big, like kitchen bowl and like putting it under myself. Like if I was on hands and knees on the bed in front of fireplace, just like had like P yeah, the pole into the bowl, get up and walk to the bathroom after every contraction.

And then in the hot tub, it was great because I just paid him. This is my office. You are my soul sister right now. I love you. There was a part in my labor. This is like TMI, but there was like, not, not a part. There were parts of my labor. I was just standing over the bed and he was like coming and he was so low and it was like that the head is irritating your bladder.

And I just remember saying, put a dowel down, like put it down down. I'm just, I'm not moving. I'm not going in the toilet. I'm not moving. I just peed everywhere the whole time. I didn't care. Being in the tub, peeing, standing up. I was like, yeah, it is. It's so animalistic. I love it. That you were. Oh alone for a lot of it too.

But you knew that you had your husband there to support you and you needed it. The reason that I brought that up is. Because so many moms put so much pressure on their partners, male or female, and like to just be their savior. And it's so important. Like even as a doula that I'm like, I, I'm not going to save you.

You know, there's no saving. There's. Like little things we do here or there, but for the most part, yeah. It's um, surrendering, you know, you just, you know, welcoming and then getting excited. And then as it starts to build and build, then just, you know, surrendering. Now we're going to take a short break to just share a few things with you.

Things for listening to the birth story pod cast. I am so excited to announce the launch of my book. Birth story, a 42 week guide for your pregnancy, a collection of these birth stories, a ton of doula advice and journaling prompts. You can order a copy [email protected]. It also will mean the world to me.

If you'll spread the word about this podcast, so on Stitcher or on iTunes, just leave a review. Thanks. So tell me about the part of your labor, where you had to surrender. Because there is the part where we're chatting with our mom and we're on FaceTime and stuff, but then there's the part where it's like, you know, you couldn't even look at itself, someone hold it up to you.

So tell me when things took a turn. So things took a turn. It started getting light outside and I was getting really loud. Well, I asked my husband to fill the birth tub. I didn't want to be outside anymore. I wanted more privacy and it took maybe 30 minutes to fill the birth tub. And I got in there and the water was really hot.

It was really nice. And, and I was alone in there for a long time. My husband was kind of like, should you be at this point? Like, didn't really know what to do themselves, but he was just keeping busy, like away from me. He was like making food and doing other things. And I felt, I felt so like uninhibited, like alone.

Like even though it was my husband and like, of course, like I could, you know, do anything with him around. I still felt like I kind of acted a little bit differently whenever he was around and I could really let go whenever I was alone. And that was really nice. Like, I was like, Pushing probably for two hours, I'm like pushing a little bit, like on the contractions.

Like it just like felt productive and felt good. And then I experienced like the state of rejection reflects at the end when he was born. But for like, as soon as I got in the top, like I was feeling really pushy on each contraction. So I was just like letting myself and I knew like, Oh, like there might be a little bit of poop, but just being completely alone, like I.

It was really nice to not have to think at all. Even like with just having a husband, they're like, you kind of got to get back into the other part of your brain a little bit, or at least I felt like, um, it did pull me out of my animal animalistic brain a little bit whenever he was around and whenever I was locked alone, I was really able to just be the animal, you know, I want it to be, and so.

It was not parked. Whenever I got in the birth tub, the contractions were really strong. I still had nice long five minute breaks in between them all, but they were, they were really strong and yeah, that's the, I never, I don't even know really when I was in transition. Because I never got to a place where I felt like I couldn't do it, or I didn't want to do it.

I didn't know how long I had last, you know, I could've had so long, less than I just didn't know. I mean, I was feeling inside myself throughout like the night, a couple of times, but maybe two or three hours after labor started, I started to lose my mucus plug and I started to kind of like bloody shell and I was encouraging like every time I would wipe and see blood, like I was encouraged.

That you know, things were happening. I really didn't know. I mean, I felt inside of myself, but I don't know what a dilated cervix really supposed to feel like. You know? I mean, I was dilated first. Didn't matter to me how much or how little this is when things are coming out of you, your cervix is thinning and opening.

So like, you don't need a cervical exam by anyone. Even if you're in a hospital, even if you're in a hospital, you don't need a cervical exam. If things are coming out of you, you're serving. It's a dilating and then BBC starting to come down and you feel more and more pressure. So you don't remember ever going through like that, lose your mind transition.

Nope. No, I did have the last couple hours of my birth filmed and each contraction was kind of like super intense and towards the end, like the last two hours on my birth, but no, there was never a time when I was just like totally losing it or threw up or. Yeah. I mean, there was a point where like I was crying and I was, it was really like emotional and intense and really painful, but I don't ever remember feeling like.

Well, you were like, I had to leave or, you know what I mean? You weren't, you know, like I knew that I was staying there and you weren't fighting it, you know? Yeah. For many of my moms is the tears. It's the ones that are natural. It's not, I can't do it anymore. It's like, I don't want to do it anymore.

They're like, when is this baby gonna come? I'm so tired. You know? So they'll be like crying. My breath, my breath story and videos on YouTube for anybody wanting to watch it. Yes, yes, yes. Let's watch it. Yeah. Yeah, search Griffin on assistant birth and call like over a hundred thousand years old, probably pop right up.

So there was a time whenever my husband was in the birth tub with me. And like, so he was crowning for like a long time. Like when it felt like forever, like maybe 45 minutes or so, like on every contraction, his head would come out a little bit and then the contraction would end in his head would get sucked back in and.

There was one point, I was like, can you just like, do something like, and he just grabbed the top of his head. It's like, you know what to do. One thing I can do anyways. He knew that, you know, and not to like, You know that that was normal. And I knew that that was normal. And I'm glad I knew that that was not because a lot of people don't and a lot of people would call that a stuffed baby or an emergency.

But I knew that like my body was just taking it kind of stretching slowly, not it has never done this before, or, and that just needed some time and not to. You know, not to push, like after the contraction would be over it to just take that time to rest that I really need to go rest. And my husband just encouraged me to rest during like, once the contraction ended, like, and not to push.

So yeah. You know that he's okay because he's moving and kicking and kicking off of you. And it didn't matter at that point, I just had to get through the then Gracie, that was transition. I thought that I would be worried about that. I mean, I did. Feel him move a lot. And now it's very registrar in general labor.

I never listen to heart tones or anything. I know how, you know, irregular, they can B and if you're not like a complete expert in like fetal heart tones, cheering like contractions, you know, I knew that they could sound like a lot of different things. So I never wanted to, um, fuck with my head really. But yeah, I just knew that I had to get to the other side of it, like.

Whatever the result was going to be. So he was like slowly emerging for like two hours. We call it the turtle. You know, the head comes out a little bit, goes back, enter, like they're a little turtle. And then I'm assuming, wait, when did your water break at any point or did it just break out, but the burns at some point in the top, I think maybe like 30 or 40 minutes after I got in the tub.

So maybe like an hour or an hour and a half. Before he was born. I just like felt the pop and the birth tub. And I saw like some like white BUCAs like float around in front of me. So I'm assuming that's what it was. There was no meconium, like everything was clear. So that had to have been another check Mark for you.

Like, okay, good blame. No, I wasn't concerned about meconium. I had done a lot of research and. Knew that that wasn't caused alone, you know, for an emergency or to be worried that I knew that babies, they don't aspirate, they don't try and breathe in utero unless like, there's like an emergency, like something very stressful happening.

And I was having, you know, The most stress free labor you could have, like, there was no, you know, no outside disturbance or no, like augmentation. So I, I was not, I actually never even thought about meconium during the labor. I didn't even register, like whenever I saw that, to be honest. Well, some even talk about how a McCone am baby, and at 42 weeks in one day.

So any post-term baby it's normal to have McCone. Um, so like the fact that you were 42 weeks and one day in Griffin didn't have McCone. I'm like, Oh, Wow. You know, but even if it was mine, both at 43 weeks, I didn't have McCone. Yeah. But he literally like pooped all over me. The second he came out. But yeah, but it's, I mean, it's pretty, I mean, it's, it's not, like you said, it's not an emergency.

Yeah. I mean, it's pretty normal to, um, for a post-term baby to have meconium, but some we'll talk about that. Birthing in the water is often the safest place for a baby with meconium. Okay. There is a lot of like cleansing let's say or rinsing. And especially if they emerged slowly from the water, we're about to get to your birth.

But later, you know, if you'll, if anyone listening. Watches a lot of home births or water births, then you'll see them very gently pulling the baby out of the water. So tell me about how that went, like when you were kind of pushing and it was going on for two hours and then how did you know that like he was coming.

So while, I mean, just like I was feeling more head on reconstruction and I was just like roaring through these contractions at the end and. And because I felt his head like I, my husband was off in a bathroom upstairs and cause I was using the bathroom downstairs lot. So he went on associates bathroom and.

I was like screaming for him. I was like, gage, like can't like thinking he was gonna miss the birth, thinking that the baby was right there. Well, the baby was right there, but, um, and he wasn't coming and I was like, Oh my God, how can he not hear me? I was literally screaming at the top of my lungs. Then later he's like, Oh, I just thought you were like screaming, like, you know, the rest of the night.

So anyways, he finally came down and the baby still wasn't blind for quite a while, but, um, He got in the water. I was like, just hanging on to him. And he was like, not saying a word and just being there for me. And I was holding onto him. And I don't even remember this time. I'm really glad to have a video because I don't even remember any of it.

I was just so high, like in between contractions, I was like tripping crazy. I'm also a recovering addict. I have 13 years clean, so I know what it's like to be high, really high. And. Oh, man, this was, I guess what you call a freebie recovering addict. It was amazing. Like we're so equipped to deal with the pain.

Like it was crazy the kind of natural painkillers that I was getting in between contractions, like as the head was sitting there on my premium. Yeah, I would just, Oh, it was amazing. And so these are opioids. I mean, these are like natural opioids and you're flooded with them. And I'm so glad you're talking about this because so many women are frayed of what the, like the pain of childbirth.

And I cannot say enough. I mean, I've done it both ways, you know? And I'm like, I cannot, when you just actually surrender your body, literally gives you every. Thing that you need, it floods you with these amazing that's amazing. Hi. And it comes and goes like I watch my moms that are natural to you and they like, just looked like they are so durable and then they'll kind of wake up and their body gave them less of it, you know, in the, maybe the baby's shifted.

And then at the end and transition, I mean, you're just. I mean, it's crazy. You're kind of out of your mind, you know, and you're doing that roar thing, but then your body responds to it. It feels that tension and that pain, and then it responds to it with just like this flood of those opioids. So interesting.

Right. Growing up, like, I didn't know much about birth, even though it was like a common thing to home birth and I still didn't know a lot about it. And. I remember, I was like, thinking that my mom was just crazy for not getting an epidural with us and I don't understand it. And she told me, well, if you're going to experience, that's something you might as well experience it.

And that's a one way to say it. That could be a T shirt

hashtag free birth. Usually I'm on one of those contractions, uh, his head came out and gage had gotten Amir, asked him to grab a mirror. And so I was like trying to see what was happening, but it was dark and. I couldn't see much so, but it was nice. He was holding the mirror for me on the contractions kind of what's going on, but yeah, that has headaches came out and I didn't even really realize, cause it was superintendent.

I did feel the ring of fire actually. Right? Yes. I remember that. And I remember thinking, Oh, okay. Like. I know what that is. I need to like welcome that and I need to push against it and yeah, and I just, it came back on the next contraction. So I waited, I was high for a few minutes and I actually had some really long rest periods, like 12 minutes.

I like enough to fall asleep a little bit and just really rest, um, during the pushing phase. Yeah. And then the next contraction came and I fell during a fire again for the second time that I like pushed against it. And I don't know how many, uh, contractions there was until his head was born. But. Yeah, I just gauged says, Oh, it has like his head.

And I was like, really? Oh my God, it's fell down. I was like holding his head, like in the water. And then it felt like I like just started pushing right away. Like I didn't wait for the next contraction, but in the video, I'm like, that's how I remember it. But when I watched the video, I just like leaned back and I had just let myself a trip out for a couple of minutes, maybe a minute or two.

And then I like kind of came back to, and I pushed his body yet. And. We both received him and brought him and he made noise right away, which was something I was worried. Yeah. What if he takes 15 minutes to breathe? But I just watched a lot of free birth videos, heard a lot of stories that that was normally not sometimes.

Yeah. Maybe a few minutes to come around and it was an emergency and he made noise right away, which was awesome. And. Yeah. Oh, I was like to hear your story. I'm already like crying. I'm like, this is amazing. And then I'm assuming that you like, we didn't, we haven't talked about like, what, what was your plan for the placenta?

Keep it in there as long as possible. I had a huge list whenever I first started planning like this home birth of stuff that I was going to have on hand and tinctures for before the placenta was early sensations for absolutely placenta was released and all kinds of stuff. And the only things I had like at the end was the birth tub and a bunch of towels.

I didn't want to use Chuck pads. I didn't want like any chemicals or anything. I just want to towel. And so I got it. Ton of towel. And I had a birth tub and I had a cord clamp that I didn't even like end up using because we left him attached to the placenta for like 12 hours. And at that point we didn't need anything for her.

We just kind of, but I didn't have anything. I didn't meet anything. Yeah, I love it. Okay. So, so how long was it before your placenta released? Oh, it was right away. It was super cause I was really, I was surprised because I know again knew it could be normal for it to be a couple of hours and, um, but that was fine.

And to just nurse them to do these like different things, but, um, as soon as we got out of the water, We sit in the water for maybe 10 minutes. And then we got out of the water and FaceTimed our moms real quick. And then I asked my husband to grab me a ball and I was going to see what was applicable center.

And I just passed him, the baby. And I spelled as like, I just follow the court up and it was right there, like in my vagina. And I just cost into my fist once. And it came out this huge  in the ball. May thing and I felt so free and empty and around the kitchen, it was great. It was maybe like 20 minutes after I gave birth.

So, Oh, I love it. So empty it's like, it really is like the moment where you're like, Ugh, That felt good. And so you, you decided to stay attached for a long time. And so what did that look like? Were you just laying and resting and nursing and the placenta was just next to you and the container? Yeah. I didn't really know how long they were going to leave him on it, but, um, yeah, we just, you know, we were lying in bed the rest of the day.

And so. Um, we just left him attached to it and I was going to do some stuff with the placenta myself, but I, um, like I was going to cut it up into like semi freeze it, slice it, and then cut it up into small, like pill bite sized pieces, and then keep those frozen and just consume it like bad, like frozen pieces of what's on.

I just like saw them like pills. That was my plan. But after giving birth, I was like, I'm not moving from dead. So let's find somebody and be able to flip on it. So I just found a local doula on Google and she, I said, can you come? Like, I'd like to, you know, nine o'clock tonight. And she said, yeah, absolutely.

And so she came and she just likes snuck into our guest house and I never even saw her. And she made me some smoothies and left him there. And then a few days later it came back with the pills. She did like the wrong capsulation and that was great. Yeah. And that's what I did. I did care in a couple of spots and I just, I stayed in bed for a long time and I just, I didn't get stitches.

And I just, uh, I used some menuca honey. And some, I did some herbal sick bath and just took really good care of myself and just stayed horizontal. I just stayed on bed with my baby for about a month and I stayed naked for a long time. He was naked and yeah, within an except visitors, we just stayed in bed.

My sister Bonnie came, she showed up. She lives in Quebec. Um, she's the youngest of the triplets and. She, uh, she showed up right after the birth and she cared for us for about a month and just made us find the best food you could ever imagine. Like she wrote out a menu for us on the plane. She had just come from a Buddhist retreat and, um, I was talking to her in labor and she was like telling me to listen to this mantra.

And that's what I looked into most of my labors, green Tara mantra. And I still like, you know, cry every time am I hear it? Anyway, she took such good care of us. She made a tumeric lattes and Oh my gosh. I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it was having her there. She changed my sheets every day.

She dry nurse my baby. So I could take a bath. She I'm with her really amazing. Yeah. And this is what we call a postpartum doula. So whether she would like that title or not, but, but our moms and our grandmas and our sisters and our aunts and our friends. And if you live in a city where you don't have any of those people in your life or accessible to you, then there are postpartum doulas that come in care for us.

What an incredible story. Like, I, I don't know. I cried a little bit. I feel really relaxed and at peace, listening to your beautiful story. And I want to talk a little bit about mothering to cause your birth story was incredible. Yeah. And because you have these other platforms of mothering that you have adopted Gracie, thank you so much for sharing your story and being on the birth story podcast.

And I just am a big fan and I love women that use their voice no matter what their platform is. And I love watching you use your voice. So thank you. Thank you, Heidi. Thank you for having me, right. It's a wrap episode 45 with Gracie Davis. We're going to conclude with our birth story, but let me tell you, we didn't turn our microphones off and we just kept talking all about parenting co-sleeping elimination communication.

So stick around and listen to episode 46. As I dive in with Gracie Davis into parenting.

Thank you for listening to birth story, Michael, if you will walk away from each episode with a clear picture of how labor and delivery might go and that you will feel empowered by the end of your pregnancy to speak up plan and prepare for the birth you want, no matter what that looks like.